The New Intimacy

He/She-ing your toys...

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Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I have this weird hang up on reviews in which a dildo is referred to as a she or a he as if it were their neighbor (or best friend ). A made up example would be "my didlo 'x' was so good, he had me hot all night".

I just think it is weird and it makes me cringe but I don't think it detracts from the review itself. That will not influence how I rate a review.

Is there any one else that feels the same way? Those who do refer to their toys in this manner what is it that incites you to do this, I'm just trying to unerstand. Perhaps I have not found the toy worthy of my naming it as a she/he.
07/22/2009
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Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I have this weird hang up on reviews in which a dildo is referred to as a she or a he as if it were their neighbor (or best friend ). A made up example would be "my didlo 'x' was so good, he had me hot all night".

I just ... more
I sometimes personify my toys in this way but generally only the animal ones (but since I have a lot of rabbits.. LOL).. I guess faces equate to personality with me.
07/22/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Sometimes they are like a best friend - not sure if they're like a neighbor .

I don't refer to all toys like this in reviews, but when I get one named, for example, "Gino", I tend to refer to it as a he. I also tend to give gender to dildos and vibrators that are somewhat cock shaped (although not cock colored - I have relatively few of those) but not things like bullets and anal toys. And I think I typically do it more when I like them .

It's kind of like with ships (they are referred to as she a lot) .
07/22/2009
Contributor: Valyn Valyn
I've done this with a couple toys. With the Lovemoiselle Noemie, for example, it just sounds so feminine, it's hard not to refer to it as a "she". I don't know, it doesn't really bother me. After all, at least one reason to use a toy is cause a partner isn't around, right?
07/22/2009
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
It is kind of wierd isn't it? I've done it myself in my Ella and Gigi reviews but I think it's because they are named with, you know, a name, lol. I think that if my husband had the Cunter I would call it a "he" but only because it would be "his" toy. Not that I'm trying to give them a gender or anything because, well, they're just sex toys. I guess I just generally think of my toys as "she" and his toys as "he". Come to think of it though, that's really confusing, lol!

As far as seeing it in reviews, it really doesn't bother me either.
07/23/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Certain toys just have more of a personality than others, and sometimes that personality leans toward a pronoun. I agree with others that when a toy has a name that is a real/common/known name, it's easier to apply an appropriate pronoun. I also tend to pronounify (oh yes, I just made that a word) toys that I like more than those I don't like. I think that's because it's more of a "pet name" kind of thing, where you would refer to something you like more civilly than just calling it a "thing" or something.

Interesting topic. I like it!
07/23/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
I only "he" them when they're a realistic penis product. Other than that, I won't gender them because most can be used for anything, anywhere.
07/23/2009
Contributor: Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
I used this a lot when I reviewed Johnny because it was already given a male name and I thought it fit with the tone of the review. I try not to do this very often, though.
07/23/2009
Contributor: Mamastoys Mamastoys
I've personalized some of my toys but not always..depends on what it is and what effect it has on me as well as the mood I am in when writing the review..I don't see anything wrong with it. It makes some reviews even more interesting to read.
07/23/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I only "he" them when they're a realistic penis product. Other than that, I won't gender them because most can be used for anything, anywhere.
Hmmm, does gendering them somehow limit the toy's use? I'd use any pronounified toy anywhere I thought I should use it.
07/23/2009
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I never thought about it but interesting. A realistic dil I will refer to as "he", just sounds right to me. Same in writing and using toys I just use the name especially if provocative, like the Gigi.
Overall I don't personify a dil: I can't see myself talking to a toy exclaiming how good "you" make me feel. I reserve that for the real thing!
07/23/2009
Contributor: Red Red
I totally do this - sometimes (maybe often?). If only we had a gender neutral pronoun. It does get under my skin at times in some reviews, but I think that's usually more a reflection of the overall quality of said review. Hmm
07/23/2009
Contributor: Epiphora Epiphora
Oh man, yes. It bothers me when people do it. I won't stop reading a review, but I will definitely cringe a little to myself. I understand the inclination, but I avoid doing it myself because I think it sounds... childish? I dunno.
07/23/2009
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockin'
Hmmm, does gendering them somehow limit the toy's use? I'd use any pronounified toy anywhere I thought I should use it.
No, it doesn't. I always say: a product can be used in any way for anything. I just sometimes do that, not for purposes of saying "you must use this for gender play" or "you must do this with it."
07/23/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
I only do this for toys that, for whatever reason, seem to have a lot more "personality." I occasionally name toys, on a whim. Or when they share a name with a member of my family...
07/23/2009
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I do it occasionally. I also notice when others do it and it seems to happen most when folks really like the toy, or when they've formed an attachment to it - good or bad. It entertains me, when done right. Kind of like Backseat Boohoo's reviews of the xtreme pack and that finger massager. Cute, funny, entertaining to read.

I have seen reviews where it's done poorly or is confusing but I don't know that the review would have been saved by not doing it, either.
07/23/2009
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
I think so far I've only done that with Gigi. But it just seemed appropriate with the name, and it's such a great toy. I actually started by calling Gigi an "it", but somehow that wasn't working. So I changed the wording before I posted the review.
07/24/2009
Contributor: LilyLust LilyLust
I'v done that a few time, but I try not to include thier names in the review. I know I'm a little weird. But when I really "love" something I tend to name it. I have ding I named, and most resently I names my monster of a tomato plant Betty. I never thought it was weird, But I see how it can be from an outsiders point of view.
07/24/2009
Contributor: Raven Raven
I don't remember seeing this alot, but it seems that Ella and GiGi are referred to as "she" often, because of the name, I suppose. It doesn't really bother me very much. It's kinda like calling a ship or a car "she", which people do all the time.
07/24/2009
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Thanks for sharing everyone. I think what comes across mostly is that toys are mostly named as a he/she since they have more "personality" or they are just really well liked.

For now I avoid doing this but perhaps when I find that special toy I will probably by tempted to do it.

I really enjoyed reading all your intersting comments. I LOVE this forum!
08/22/2009
Contributor: TinyTease TinyTease
I've actually wondered this about myself from time to time. I do refer to toys, fairly often, as he/she. I can't say exactly what it is, but some of them just seem more masculine or feminine, while others are just androgynous and become "its." The amount that I like them does also come into play.
08/26/2009
Contributor: Rayne Millaray Rayne Millaray
Upon originally reading this post, I was all, "They're toys. How can they have a gender?" But I can see, now, how it's easy to call a toy with a gender-specific name by that gender. So I guess, for me, it depends on the toy's name.
09/19/2009
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
I've given proper names to a bunch of my toys, and I know I've kept those names to myself, but now I'm wondering if I might have let a pronoun slip into one of my reviews.
09/19/2009
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
It bothers me to see toys referred to with a gendered pronouns in reviews. I think the discussion on it needs to be taken further, because I feel like we should avoid using gendered pronouns in reviews in the interest of sounding more professional.

Also, I'm a thread necromancer! Fear my power.
11/24/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
Sometimes they are like a best friend - not sure if they're like a neighbor .

I don't refer to all toys like this in reviews, but when I get one named, for example, "Gino", I tend to refer to it as a he. I also tend to give ... more
*this. i do it more when i like them too. and i am the culprit for assigning genders to dildos! i usually call them 'he.'
11/24/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I don't mind it.
I sometimes refer to mine as "this little guy".
12/10/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
For me it has a lot to do with name as other's have suggested. I don't get tempted to call anything from the JJ's Form series a he or she. It's just the form 2 or 4 or 6 or whatever it is.

However, with Lelos, all of the ones I've had have had girls names (liv, gigi, ina) and it's really hard to call something with a human name "it" I have no idea why. I guess it's in part because when you write it out like "Liv is this way and that way" you feel like you're talking about a person, even though I don't actually intend to be personifying the vibrator. It just seems to flow better in my mind.
12/10/2011
Contributor: Kendrir Kendrir
I've tried to avoid personification in my reviews so far, but I don't really think too much about it when I read others doing it. I'd be apt to do the same, I think, if I had really strong feeling one way or the other with a specific item - especially if it was named or modeled in a specifically male or female fashion.
12/12/2011
Contributor: Lucky21 Lucky21
I only use it when they are realistic products, otherwise it's just an "it". Especially when they have a male or female dominant name.
12/12/2011