The New Intimacy

Tips for making anal work?

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Contributor: Munko Munko
My husband and I have tried anal a handful of times. Once successfully - and all the rest not at all successful.

There are SO many toys out there - I have a plug and beads, but they really don't seem to be helpful. I do enjoy anal play and did enjoy the one time we were successful so I'd like to try again, I just have no idea where to start and what we should be doing differently to make it work. It hurts, A LOT, and at times has made me bleed just from trying, and he hasn't even really gotten the head in at all at that point. Maybe I am just not really built for it? I don't know!

The one time we were successful, I really have no idea what the difference was between that time and the others...position maybe, but there was definitely LESS lube and warm up time, so I don't know. Stars must have aligned for us that day!
03/19/2013
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Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I'm a little confused - you said that it worked OK for you 1x. Why not go back to what worked and build from that?

You have half the battle won by having a positive attitude. A few tips. Always take it slow. 1 finger, then 2, then a small toy - all with plenty of lube - and don't rush it. Find a tapered vibe or dildo or butt plug that can be inserted slowly to dilate you.

If it hurts - stop and go back to a comfortable step.

My wife waited 23 years to let me do this - now she does it like she's been doing it her whole life. Be patient.
03/20/2013
Contributor: Bill220 Bill220
^Excellent advice.

I would also add that you must relax! If you tense up it's not going to matter how much lube you use. If you are able, I would suggest a couple of glasses of wine or a cocktail or two, then give it a try with one of the toys Gunsmoke listed.
03/20/2013
Contributor: Munko Munko
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'm a little confused - you said that it worked OK for you 1x. Why not go back to what worked and build from that?

You have half the battle won by having a positive attitude. A few tips. Always take it slow. 1 finger, then 2, then a small ... more
Because we have no idea why it worked

Really couldn't pinpoint what was different about that attempt over the others!

Thanks for the tips.
03/26/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
all great advice listed. Be sure to remember, for anal you really should use A LOT of lube (for me, there is no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal), and like Gunsmoke said take it very slow and start over if theres any pain. To prep yourself, fingers as well as a small plug would really be good. Also find a position that works best for you that causes no discomfort. I enjoy anal while laying on my stomach, my back arched some, while my partner penetrates me from behind as well as doggy for anal - for me, these are the most enjoyable/comfortable positions for anal - but you may find you like missionary, beng on your back or side, ect. Make sure to check in with your partner too while in the act letting them know if you do/do not like what is going on or want to try a different position. If you find your hurt or very sore after take a break and give your body time to recover completely before trying to indulge again.
03/26/2013
Contributor: Real or memorex Real or memorex
Other people here seem to have really good advice! You could also experiment with different lubes. A thicker, goopier water-based lubricant made the difference for me.

Suggestions from experience: try on a night when you've had some strong orgasms first to relax you and get the endorphins going, use warm-up toys, and try on your back in the missionary position where you direct and control the penetration. Go in super slowly, super slowly, suuuuupeeeeerrrrrr slowly, then pause and cease movement when he gets all the way in just to let your body get accustomed to the penetration and contract around a bit. Then, only if your ass is feeling in the mood for it, should you start in with in and out motion (again, I suggest you control or direct this).

Perhaps just practicing enjoying the feeling of very slow penetration followed by a stop in the action when he is in as much as your body is comfortable with, will help you work up to more movement. Bleeding is definitely bad and pain is bad; when done gently and correctly anal should be pleasurable.
04/22/2013