Age related material choices.

Contributor: Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
This one is for the older ladies. My wife is in her early fifties and we are both new to toys. So far she really hasn't had any good experiences with any penetrating toys, but we've only tried silicone. It seems that the drag of silicone isn't very appealing (maybe we need more lube?), but she is wondering if she would have enjoyed it 20 or 30 years ago when her tissues were fuller and more moist.

We're looking at glass toys now for the low drag, but fear the rigidity will have its own problems for the older vagina.

Anyone have any experience with toy material desires that changed as you got older due to related biological changes?
09/11/2011
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Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I'm in my late forties. Biological changes do affect us sexually. Most of my toys are made of silicone too, but I've just bought a stainless steel Pure Wand, the material does not drag like some of the silicones do. Your wife can still enjoy her silicone toys, all she needs is extra lube to reduce dragging. I'm not a fan of artificial lube, unless I'm doing anal play, so I'm taking a herbal supplement to balance my hormones. The supplement I'm having is called Damiana leaf, my libido is higher and my natural lubrication is flowing at a healthy rate. I've been telling all my female friends about the benefits of this herbal supplement, maybe your wife should give it a try.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Definitely extra lube for the silicone. Glass is not always good for thrusting if one bruises easily, so keep that in mind.

Have you tried the different "kinds" of silicone toys? (textures and softness levels)
09/12/2011
Contributor: Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Definitely extra lube for the silicone. Glass is not always good for thrusting if one bruises easily, so keep that in mind.

Have you tried the different "kinds" of silicone toys? (textures and softness levels)
Sort of. We tried an O2 revolution and an Outlaw, but they were too big. So we got a Goodfella.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
I'm in my late forties. Biological changes do affect us sexually. Most of my toys are made of silicone too, but I've just bought a stainless steel Pure Wand, the material does not drag like some of the silicones do. Your wife can still ... more
What kind do you use? Tincture or leaf?
09/13/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin Fantasys
Sort of. We tried an O2 revolution and an Outlaw, but they were too big. So we got a Goodfella.
I know what you mean, a lot of dildos I find are too big as well. I thought the O2 Cush was a better size.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin Fantasys
Sort of. We tried an O2 revolution and an Outlaw, but they were too big. So we got a Goodfella.
I'm 23 and haven't experienced what your wife is experiencing, but dryness is very common (and manageable) issue for many women of a variety of ages. The Revolution, Outlaw and Goodfella are all made from matte "realistic" silicones that do have more drag to them, and they are probably not ideal for someone that has difficulty self-lubricating. Silicone lubes are the most slick, but they are not meant for silicone toys. Water based lubricants work well with silicone, but they dry up more quickly which creates a problem at times.

Glossy silicones such as those used in Tantus designs like the Tantus G-spot or the Tantus Buzz may be more up her alley. Vixen also has some glossy silicone toys such as the Mistress or, for something larger, The Leo. Of course, keep in mind that lots of water based lube - reapplied often too! - will help with any toy you use. This stuff changed my life! It very closely mimics natural vaginal secretions and stays slick longer than most water based lubricants as it's a hybrid. It is still safe to use with most silicone toys, as well.

However, it may be worth while to invest in an inexpensive glass toy to see if your wife likes it. Plenty of women here at Edenfantasys that are around your wife's age love firm glass or metal toys, so they may work for her as well. This style of glass toy is fairly inexpensive, well made and very well loved around here! There's also this beauty which is more on the expensive end of the spectrum - although it's on sale right now at 35% off.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin Fantasys
What kind do you use? Tincture or leaf?
I take it in the capsule form, much more convenient than brewing tea. If you're interested, here's the website I bought mine from. I only take one capsule per day, and I think it's sufficient enough.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I'm 23 and haven't experienced what your wife is experiencing, but dryness is very common (and manageable) issue for many women of a variety of ages. The Revolution, Outlaw and Goodfella are all made from matte "realistic" silicones ... more
I have a Tantus Echo, same silicone as the Tantus G-spot and Tantus Buzz, it does have some drag. It's probably a good idea for Paladin Fantasys' wife to try that Liquid Silk you've mentioned.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
I have a Tantus Echo, same silicone as the Tantus G-spot and Tantus Buzz, it does have some drag. It's probably a good idea for Paladin Fantasys' wife to try that Liquid Silk you've mentioned.
We have a Tantus Curve, it was our first pegging dildo. So we now understand the difference between matte and gloss silicone. Both our psychological preferences are for realistic dildos though.

She is susceptible to yeast infections and tends to be in those small percentiles for experiencing the side effects of many substances, how worried should we be about parabens? We have used KY silk successfully. System JO may or may not have caused her some burning, but it also might have been the overstretching of the O2 and/or the Outlaw.
09/15/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin Fantasys
We have a Tantus Curve, it was our first pegging dildo. So we now understand the difference between matte and gloss silicone. Both our psychological preferences are for realistic dildos though.

She is susceptible to yeast infections and tends ... more
I don't know much about the side effects of paraben, a small percentage of people do have allergic reactions to paraben. If you're comfortable with KY silk, then you might as well continue using it rather than switching to other varieties. The O2 Revolution 1 3/4" and the Outlaw 2" are both thicker than the Curve 1 3/8", sometimes the extra 1/4" in diameter makes a big difference for an individual, that might be part of the reason for your wife's discomfort due to overstretching.

Some of the other EFers like to take Cranberry pills for prevention of yeast infections, maybe your wife can try that on a daily basis also.
09/15/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
I don't know much about the side effects of paraben, a small percentage of people do have allergic reactions to paraben. If you're comfortable with KY silk, then you might as well continue using it rather than switching to other varieties. ... more
I'm very susceptible to yeast infections, but cranberry pills are unfortunately not very helpful for that - more so for frequent UTIs. Acidopholus (sp?) tablets are AMAZING for yeast infections though, or just regularly eating yogurt which contains acidopholus. The pills are pricy, but very worth it.

However, Liquid Silk does not contain glycerin, which is generally the culprit in causing yeast infections when it comes to lube. Yeast eats sugars, and glycerin, well, you do the math! Avoid lubes with any form of glycerin like the plague! I agree that if KY Silk works than of course stick with it, but it may be worth it to try the Liquid Silk and see if it cuts down on friction somewhat more.

I agree with Rossie again on the size front. It may not be the material, but rather the size. There are smaller realistic dildos such as the Goodfella and the Mustang which may be easier on your wife. Best of luck to you
09/16/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin Fantasys
This one is for the older ladies. My wife is in her early fifties and we are both new to toys. So far she really hasn't had any good experiences with any penetrating toys, but we've only tried silicone. It seems that the drag of silicone ... more
I'm a bit younger than you wife, but I am experiencing early peri-menopause. "Natural" supplements did nothing for some dryness I was having. Nor the hot flashes or night sweats. My dryness was only occasionally, though. I found that at first simply using a good quality lube, like Sliquid H2O Ride really helped (and still does, and is the best for anal, too.) But, I eventually had to use estrogen creme, because I was having orgasm problems. Things just snapped back into place (fingers crossed) within months of starting the creme with a little progesterone pills so I wouldn't bleed too much.

It may not be everybody's choice to do this, I know I always said I would never use HRT. But, nobody told me it would effect your ability to orgasm, not even in nursing school. So, you have to do what works.

I have no trouble with the silicone in either Fun Factory toys or JoyDivision toys. I can even use TPR silicone now that I don't have dryness anymore.

I didn't use toys when I was in my 20s, so I have no idea if things "changed."

I hope you and your wife find something that helps. There has got to be a toy out there that is right for her.
09/16/2011
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by Paladin Fantasys
This one is for the older ladies. My wife is in her early fifties and we are both new to toys. So far she really hasn't had any good experiences with any penetrating toys, but we've only tried silicone. It seems that the drag of silicone ... more
nope cant say i have my vag feels the same even after i had a kid.
09/17/2011