The New Intimacy

Where NOT to store your toys...

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Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
I recently helped a friend move into a house where one of the previous occupants left suddenly, leaving behind his personal items in the bathroom. One of the items he left behind: a cock sleeve in a plastic container. Ewww. But the really gross part is where it was being stored: Under the sink in the back of a cabinet - where the plumbing was leaking. Double ewww.

We talk a lot about where to store toys, so let's talk about where NOT to store them.


1. In a moist place, such as under the sink.
07/15/2009
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Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Somewhere the dog could get at them. Never happened to me, but having ol' Rover bring the new chew toy he found to show you and your guests scares me.

I'd recommend somewhere that doesn't look like it might hold expensive things (i.e. a nice looking, locked case). I lost a couple toys during a burglary that way.
07/15/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
On your window sill. Besides making eyebrows raise - the sun issue surely isn't too good for them
07/15/2009
Contributor: Valyn Valyn
In a car, to get all melty..
07/15/2009
Contributor: spicywife spicywife
I guess the prior occupant wasn't very thrilled with that cock sleeve?

Here's what I thought of, for where not to store your toys:

in a kitchen cabinet
in the tv stand
07/15/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by spicywife
I guess the prior occupant wasn't very thrilled with that cock sleeve?

Here's what I thought of, for where not to store your toys:

in a kitchen cabinet
in the tv stand
And don't hide them in your computer tower
07/15/2009
Contributor: Red Red
in a safe (too complicated to get at them!)

in the toilet tank

under a cat bed

under a bed, without a box or a bag (I am, um, guilty of this, however)

at your parents house




I was going to say "In a tool shed", but then I started having this fantasy about dildos arranged on a peg board....
07/15/2009
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
In your desk drawer (guilty)

On the counter in the bathroom air-drying when your parents come to visit (again, guilty)
07/15/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
In your desk drawer (guilty)

On the counter in the bathroom air-drying when your parents come to visit (again, guilty)
You know, if it locked, the desk might not be a bad idea.



How about.. in the kids/guest room
07/16/2009
Contributor: LilyLust LilyLust
Left on the night stand from the night before where the kids can find it? (guilty)
07/16/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
Turns out tossing them on clean towels in the laundry basket after cleaning isn't such a good idea either...
07/16/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I put my toys, in FYN cases, in the closet in my parents' ancient house and couldn't touch them for about half a month. When I finally got them out, they were molding on the bottom from the dampness of the wood and all, so I had to rub them down with alcohol. Uuuugh.

Also, I totally left my Hitachi out in my close while the maintenance guy sprayed bug spray today. Awwwkwaaaard.
07/16/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I put my toys, in FYN cases, in the closet in my parents' ancient house and couldn't touch them for about half a month. When I finally got them out, they were molding on the bottom from the dampness of the wood and all, so I had to rub them ... more
Ick!
07/17/2009
Contributor: Juliettia Juliettia
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I put my toys, in FYN cases, in the closet in my parents' ancient house and couldn't touch them for about half a month. When I finally got them out, they were molding on the bottom from the dampness of the wood and all, so I had to rub them ... more
I don't think that I could have ever used the toys again knowing they had mold on them.
07/17/2009
Contributor: BlessedRaven BlessedRaven
I live alone so sometimes I forget to put things away and I just leave them in convenient places. Like, a bottle of lube on the floor in hte living room. Bad idea because I always have to look around my place for random things if I'm going to have company. Sometimes I miss an item.
02/08/2010
Contributor: BlessedRaven BlessedRaven
I live alone so sometimes I forget to put things away and I just leave them in convenient places. Like, a bottle of lube on the floor in hte living room. Bad idea because I always have to look around my place for random things if I'm going to have company. Sometimes I miss an item.
02/08/2010
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
In a storage case/bag so cute/pretty/cool looking that people feel the urge to pick it up and play with it... and perhaps open it. My lace Devine Carry-on was a constant offender.
02/08/2010
Contributor: Snappy Snappy
In the milkbox. In the mailbox. In the refrigerator. In a vase on the coffee table...wait, maybe that could work if they were glass dildos...
02/08/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
in a safe (too complicated to get at them!)

in the toilet tank

under a cat bed

under a bed, without a box or a bag (I am, um, guilty of this, however)

at your parents house




I was going to say "In a ... more
with outlines?

I would say this are all good ideas for where NOT to store them.

I would throw in: in the back of the veggie crisper in the fridge...
02/08/2010
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
with outlines?

I would say this are all good ideas for where NOT to store them.

I would throw in: in the back of the veggie crisper in the fridge...
Unless, of course, you happen to use cucumbers. Or have that corn vibrator...
02/08/2010
Contributor: Domineight Domineight
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Somewhere the dog could get at them. Never happened to me, but having ol' Rover bring the new chew toy he found to show you and your guests scares me.

I'd recommend somewhere that doesn't look like it might hold expensive things ... more
Can you imagine the look on the burglar's face when they pried open this fancy case to find sex toys? I'm sorry for your loss or toys but you have to admit, the end result is slightly chuckle-worthy.
02/08/2010
Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by Snappy
In the milkbox. In the mailbox. In the refrigerator. In a vase on the coffee table...wait, maybe that could work if they were glass dildos...
Mine are always in the mailbox...oh wait, you mean once they are opened

I have the touche and it is always in the freezer, however, don't leave it under the ice cream after making a bowl of ice cream or you might get an ice cream covered toy (I, of course, wouldn't know anything about that ).

Bad places:

Kitchen table (yeah, that was me)
on the dog's side of the bed (yup, me again)
In the dryer
in the dishwasher (seriously, take them out or your friends may never come over again).
02/08/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by J's Alley
Mine are always in the mailbox...oh wait, you mean once they are opened

I have the touche and it is always in the freezer, however, don't leave it under the ice cream after making a bowl of ice cream or you might get an ice cream covered ... more
Lol @ the dishwasher.

If I did that, I'm not sure it would even phase my friends, but I'm also the type who would leave sex toys in the dishwasher just to get a reaction out of people, lol
02/09/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
Lol @ the dishwasher.

If I did that, I'm not sure it would even phase my friends, but I'm also the type who would leave sex toys in the dishwasher just to get a reaction out of people, lol
I always make sure to take mine out.

I do remember a CSI episode, though, where they found a bunch of toys in there drying away
02/09/2010
Contributor: Luscious Lily Luscious Lily
Lying out on your bed, air-drying... the day the fire marshals do a surprise inspection of your dorm.

I got 2 completely falsified citations from the fire marshal who came through that day: one for using outlet expanders (I don't have any), the other for attaching things to my ceiling (which I don't do because of the asbestos). Both because someone felt the need to punish me for owning sex toys. *sigh*

But back to funny: in their own drawer in your dresser, when your mother decides to be nice and do your laundry for you while you're out. (Thank goodness, not me... this one was my boyfriend)
02/09/2010
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Luscious Lily
Lying out on your bed, air-drying... the day the fire marshals do a surprise inspection of your dorm.

I got 2 completely falsified citations from the fire marshal who came through that day: one for using outlet expanders (I don't have ... more
Lame
02/10/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I always make sure to take mine out.

I do remember a CSI episode, though, where they found a bunch of toys in there drying away
That was actually the first thing I thought of when I saw the original post, lol
02/11/2010
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Juliettia
I don't think that I could have ever used the toys again knowing they had mold on them.
The toys didn't have mold on them. Mold had gathered on the wooden shelf and got stuck to the bottom of the cases. Probably should've made that more clear; sorry!
02/12/2010
Contributor: Lynk Lynk
~Under your pillow, especially uncleaned ~

A friend of mine did that, and her sister went to grab an extra pillow and the vibrator fell out, lol.

~Anywhere an animal can get to it~

Hasn't happened to me, but I figured that is one that should be emphasized. Not only will it ruin your toys, it will be embarassing to explain to your guests.

On a funny side note, a friend of mine bought their dogs a new chew toy from the dollar store. It is round, pink, kind of see-through, and has nubs on it to help clean the dogs' teeth. It basically looks like the gnawed up remains of a dildo. Everytime people come over they say something along the lines of "Uh... Did your dogs get something...they uhh.... weren't supposed to?" She responds with "Oh my god, how many people are going to ask me that? It's a dog toy!"

~In the guest ________ (bedroom, bathroom, etc...)~

~On the floor~

~In the linen closet~

~Anywhere in the kitchen~
02/12/2010
Contributor: Isadorabelle Isadorabelle
I'd say in a shoe box that's in plain sight. In a drawer is different, but if it's a rather well known brand, some people (like guests company) might snoop and think you keep the shoes in there for safe keeping.
08/18/2010