How can i get my unwilling bf to try bondage?

Contributor: lovelylolaa lovelylolaa
Related to: 
Im trying my best to get my bf to open up and explore bondage but hes not budging... any ideas to help persuade him?
12/02/2012
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Contributor: VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
Maybe you need to start out a little small. Maybe just some simple ties or cuffs for your wrists first and that's it. Maybe he's willing to at least tie your wrists...? Then see where it goes room there.
12/02/2012
Contributor: Suisei Suisei
Tie him up and tell him you won't release him until he complies!
That's a joke, by the way. It would not be very considerate to do that.

You could always start with something more "innocent" from the same genre of play. Next time you two are doing something, try adding a simple blindfold into the mix. He might find that he likes it, and it might act as a gateway into more involved play.
12/02/2012
Contributor: No-nita No-nita
Honestly? If he doesn't want to, I would just leave it alone. If my partner had tried multiple times to convince me to do something I wasn't comfortable with or interested in, we would be having major problems... Asking or suggesting things a few times is one thing, but if they make it clear that they don't want to and you keep pushing it, that's a red flag to me
12/02/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I agree leave it alone. After some time...try to introduce some BDSM porn into your relationship. Show him it's fun and see how it goes from there.
12/02/2012
Contributor: Supervixen Supervixen
Quote:
Originally posted by lovelylolaa
Im trying my best to get my bf to open up and explore bondage but hes not budging... any ideas to help persuade him?
If he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to. You could talk to him about starting out very light before progressing, but if he still won't budge, leave it. Pressuring someone or nagging them about it can cause some serious relationship problems. It may be something that he'll never be into; it's not for everyone. If that becomes apparent, then you can decide if you guys are sexually compatible from there.
12/09/2012
Contributor: Chou Wang Chou Wang
That's something most men are not really comfortable with, or will not do it with their long-term partners. There is this issue of control that we would loose or fear that we would loose. Plus who wants to be helpless The maximum I can go for is to have my eyes covered.
12/10/2012
Contributor: phoenixfire phoenixfire
Quote:
Originally posted by Chou Wang
That's something most men are not really comfortable with, or will not do it with their long-term partners. There is this issue of control that we would loose or fear that we would loose. Plus who wants to be helpless The maximum I can go for is ... more
Who wants to be helpless? (Or to have their partner helpless?) I do! Depending on the night, of course.

Kidding aside, BDSM is not for everyone. I agree that introducing light BDSM porn, blindfolds, or maybe even the right BDSM fiction may be a good way to test the waters gently with a partner who just isn't sure about that style of sex. If, however, he just isn't into it, don't force him.

Even when I am submissive, I am submissive with my husband because I choose to be. I expect him to respect the limits we have set, safewords, etc. If he ever ignored that, we would have a huge problem. So it may look like I am giving up all control, but I am really not. I would never try BDSM with someone I could not trust absolutely to respect limits. Anyway...
12/18/2012
Contributor: Bleu Bleu
If he's COMPLETELY unwilling, leave it alone.

But you should start slow, if you want it. You know, blindfolds, then blindfolds and handcuffs...mild stuff. Don't jump into it because that scares people. Some people don't know that BDSM can be enjoyable, they automatically jump to what they see on TV with whips and pain.
12/18/2012
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
Thank you all from me, I've been wondering the same question. When solo, I find fantasizing BDSM turns me on but he isn't interested. When together I always fantasize silently anyway and have found I have a very active imagination. I wouldn't want to be pushed into something I wouldn't want, he deserves the same respect.
12/20/2012
Contributor: Firemenlafd2 Firemenlafd2
Quote:
Originally posted by lovelylolaa
Im trying my best to get my bf to open up and explore bondage but hes not budging... any ideas to help persuade him?
Start out small or just try and compromise with him about it. Like make him a deal maybe
01/28/2013