Help for someone having trouble getting to climax.

Contributor: Chirple Chirple
First of all, hi ! I was so impressed when I found this site and I love the reviews.

I'm having trouble picking out a vibrator. I have never had an orgasm (alone or with partner), and I'm looking for something to help.

I've been browsing and comparing, and I've been interested in the Pocket Fairy wand and Je Joue MiMi (I was attracted to corded/rechargeable). But I'm scared spending that much on either without any idea if they'd do anything for me.

I had one of those "traditional" kind of vibrators, but it didn't have much "vroom" and I could just leave it down there and eventually go numb. I feel like higher RPM would have helped, the vibrations were "deep" enough, but not fast enough.

The idea of very fast vibrations from the wand sounds good to me, but I'm afraid it will be so noisy I'll never be able to use it !

I know you guys can't tell me what will work for me, but I was hoping maybe someone has had a similar experience and has some words of advice.

Thank you !
11/26/2011
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Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I just recently was able to have my first clitoral orgasm at the age of 30 and for me personally the Mimi works EVERY Time. I haven't written a review about it yet, but I can't say enough great words about it. It has different vibration settings and it also has pulsation modes. I first rub some arousal gel on my clit (we have some here but I don't know what the best is b/c I bought something from Walmart a long time ago and I'm the type of person that doesn't like buying something new until what I have is completely used up).

Then I turn the Mimi on the setting I like, set it on my clit, relax, close my eyes, visualize making love, and work my PC muscles by squeezing and releasing over and over again until I'm able to climax. For me, this routine takes about 5-10 minutes and I'm able to feel small tingles at first and my body "jumps" (kinda like a small electrical charge) and then it increases in tendency and you can feel it building, and then the tngles get stronger and stronger and finally fade.

This wasn't the first product that allowed me to climax, the Eroscillator was but that is really expensive. The only reason I tried it first was b/c I came to this site because I read a book called the orgasmic diet and it recommended that particular toy b/c it's designed for those that have never orgasm'd before. I don't regret buying it, but I wish I would have known the Mimi would do the same thing for less.

If you have any questions at all feel free to message me and I will answer any questions you may have. Sorry I'm not able to tell you anything about the Fairy because I do not have that product.
11/26/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
You could always try a cheaper bullet first and see if you really like something like that; it may not get you off but you could see if you're at least on the right path!
11/26/2011
Contributor: voenne voenne
I'm sort of in the same position as you. If you truly are interested in the fairy or mimi, just start saving up those Eden points! So, if it doesn't quite work for you (which is hard to imagine it wouldn't), then you wouldn't have paid full price. That's what I'm doing at the moment, because I want to get the fairy mini and attachment. I have a feeling that I need something ultra strong to help me because nothing else has worked in the past. Though I do understand the need to have something quieter than that, just keep browsing and reading reviews, and you'll learn something new everyday to get a better sense of what you want.

I have a strong bullet with a remote, and to even remotely get there, I have to have it on full blast (body numbingly strong). But the trouble is that I always loose the spot after a while, somehow, and I haven't climaxed with it as of yet. It's been about 6 or so months and I've only tried a handful of times. That's my two cents if you're having trouble relaxing to get off like me and want one of those.

Good luck. I wish I could help more. When you finish posting your public profile here I want to follow you to see what you come up with!
11/26/2011
Contributor: mrigirl mrigirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
First of all, hi ! I was so impressed when I found this site and I love the reviews.

I'm having trouble picking out a vibrator. I have never had an orgasm (alone or with partner), and I'm looking for something to help.

I've ... more
I'm 39 and had my first clitoral orgasm this year with a bullet. It wasn't quite strong enough to consistently recreate more orgasms though. So I began my search for the perfect vibrator, for me. I already had a rabbit, but it never worked...not strong enough and didn't fit well with my body. I researched for MONTHS, unfortunately on the WRONG sites. I agonized over which one would be THE one for me. I was prepared to drop some serious cash, this is huge for me because I am a total cheapskate, but it's nearly impossible to know what will work for you if you have NO IDEA. I finally chose the Lelo Ina. It's very well made and I SO wanted to love it, but it never gave me what I experienced that first time. Back to the drawing board...I still wasn't sure what to choose! I decided to go with one of the tried and true...Hitachi Magic Wand, Wahl, or Erocillator. Luckily I made the right decision the second time. The Erocillator should have been my first choice, instead I was trying to save some cash. It even gave me some tips that really helped. I have an EXTREMELY hard time "getting there". To my delight I have discovered that I am multi-orgasmic...who would have thought! I have not had my 'new best friend' very long, but I have high hopes of being able to have consistent (and quicker) orgasms. Once I'm able to do that, then I will start working on my ultimate goal...have one while having sex with a partner. My advise...the Erocillator, the Erocillator, the Erocillator!!! Good Luck!
11/28/2011
Contributor: Chirple Chirple
Thank you so much !

I wish I could say something better than that, I really appreciate it !

I found my headphones and was able to watch the video reviews and got an idea of the noise level. And wow, the wand does sound just like a blender. I'm not embarrassed by the idea that they could hear a vibrator, but I don't want to be rude and wake anyone up just turning it on (and if it's THAT loud, the people in the floor ABOVE me might hear it, haha) !

So, thanks to unfulfilled (thank you so much !) and all the glowing reviews, I decided to take a chance on the MiMi and we'll see how it goes.

And, mrigirl, I had been looking at the Erocillator a long time ago. I think that or a wand might be my next stop if the MiMi doesn't work out. But it might be a few years until I can move to somewhere with enough privacy so I'm going to cross my fingers for now.
11/28/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
Thank you so much !

I wish I could say something better than that, I really appreciate it !

I found my headphones and was able to watch the video reviews and got an idea of the noise level. And wow, the wand does sound just like a ... more
I was just about to pop in with my vote for MiMi, but I see you already decided on it. I hope you love yours!
11/28/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
First of all, hi ! I was so impressed when I found this site and I love the reviews.

I'm having trouble picking out a vibrator. I have never had an orgasm (alone or with partner), and I'm looking for something to help.

I've ... more
1st of all... love your kitty! so gorgeous. i have 2 fluffy dark haired ones and they're my kids.

2nd. welcome to EF! it's changed my life in the past 6 months, completely. you'll love it here.


3rd. i myself didnt orgasm alone until 22, and not with a partner till 23. it was a partner i was really comfy with, that's key.


when i masturbate, i like to use something like this:


fun factory bandito

it's great because of the g-spot curve, a NECESSITY for a dildo, IMHO. also, it's silicone so it's sterilizable, it will last forever, and it flexes a bit.


on my clit while masturbating i use the simple handpack bullets like this:


california exotics pocket gold egg

this is cheap, lasts plenty long (unless you get a lemon, which can happen) and i just love it. i use it during sex just about every time too. clitoral stimulation for me is crucial. without it, vaginal stimulation just isnt the same.



and yes, wands are super noisy! the fairy mini for example, SO noisy. also, check out the weight on those on their product profile pages before purchasing. the hitachi, for example, weighs about as much as a baby elephant. holding that on your clit for 20 mins or longer is tiring.



if you relax and arent rushing or pushing yourself, orgasm WILL *eventually* come. i never thought i'd be able to at your age, and it happened not long after.


good luck!
11/28/2011
Contributor: Why Why
I'm just going to be predictable and recommend a wand. The first thing I ever got was a Hitachi Magic Wand a few months ago. I'd never had an orgasm before, and honestly had never done anything sexually before that. Had an orgasm within the first 2 minutes of using it.

It might be pretty intense the first time you use it - try layering some towels or sheets over the spot until you get used to it.

I also really recommend trying some attachments out. They look really weird at first and will make the thing even more noisy but they allow for some variety - it's really easy to switch out the heads and keep going.

The noise on wands is really distracting. Grab some headphones and turn up some music to drown it out. I find that music helps me focus. You can also time the music to the vibrations - try a lower setting for the verses and a higher setting for the chorus/solos - orgasming along with a solo in a rock song is a pretty awesome feeling.

If you do get a wand though, make sure you pay attention to the instructions for how long to use it for. They can get overheated and the wiring will start to fail inside. Don't store them next to a heater either. And, if you can, avoid using cheap extension cords or surge protectors. One of those things caused mine to blow up and trip a breaker. Not exactly fun with the thing inside you (I was using an attachment and the thing sparked - terrifying...)
11/28/2011
Contributor: Mr. John Mr. John
Quote:
Originally posted by Chirple
First of all, hi ! I was so impressed when I found this site and I love the reviews.

I'm having trouble picking out a vibrator. I have never had an orgasm (alone or with partner), and I'm looking for something to help.

I've ... more
Rather than vibrations, you may want to give oscillations a try. What works every time for my wife is her Eroscillator.
04/09/2013