Originally posted by
You've already received some great advice, and I echo the suggestions about talking to both your doctor and perhaps exploring some sort of therapy. It sounds to me like some of your issues may go beyond the physical, and I'm really sorry to
You've already received some great advice, and I echo the suggestions about talking to both your doctor and perhaps exploring some sort of therapy. It sounds to me like some of your issues may go beyond the physical, and I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling to love yourself. Trust me, I can relate, so I know how miserable all that shame and self-loathing can be. Know that you're not alone.
I entered therapy a few years ago, and it's really helped me a lot, in all aspects of my life (including my sex life). While I'm still a work in progress (who isn't?), I'm much happier and more functional than I was a few years ago....and my orgasms are also way better, now that I've worked through some of my body image issues. Good therapy isn't easy and it takes time, but I'd absolutely say it's worth the effort. Not just for your sex life, but for all aspects of your life.
Regarding your doctor, would you perhaps find it easier to talk to a female doctor? A lot of women find it easier to talk to another woman about medical issues related to their reproductive bits and pieces, so if you feel like that would be the case for you, don't be afraid to look into seeing a female doctor about your difficulty orgasming/locating your clitoris.
For what it's worth, my clit is very small and hard to find. You can't see it at all without really digging into the folds of my labia, and it requires quite a bit of precision to stimulate. I've found that the best way for me to find it while masturbating is to sort of gently press with my fingers around the area where my mons (that fleshy triangle bit in front) meets my labia, and feel for the spot where it creates a gentle sort of tickling sensation when I apply pressure. I've found that for whatever reason, a gentle touch works much better than a more aggressive one for clit location. Of course, all this is only what works for me and may not work for you, but since my clit is so good at hiding, I thought I'd share on the off chance you might find it helpful.
You could also try visually examining your own lady bits by squatting over a mirror, to give you a better view of the lay of the land down there. Sometimes it's even useful to have an anatomical diagram handy for comparison, to help you identify all the important bits on your own anatomy. Although if you have a stealth clit like me, that may not end up being all that helpful in actually locating the little bugger, but it can still be very educational.
Best of luck and best wishes to you!
I must first sincerely apologize for not seeing your message any sooner. I was frustrated and did log into the site for some time. Not sure why I logged on today.
Thank you for responding, I still have not seen my Doctor due to the pandemic and is still thinking if I should. It is not whether my doc is a male or a female, it is mostly due to my embarrassment about my sexual health. I have a great friend who keeps trying to push me to get out there, but there is something I have been keeping to myself.
I am a recent amputee as of two years ago. It was already difficult for me to be in a relationship because I feel I wasn't sexy or attractive to hold a mate, after the amputation, any hope of trying to get back out there quickly disappeared.
I know that every person's experience is quite different, for me, I realized that men are VERY VAIN, it is always about what the eye deems attractive. As usual, I have a very self deprecating nature, plus, my amputation has added volumes to my self loathing. I have been for the past two year been sitting at my window and looking outside because it has become my safe space. I have forced myself to deal with the word acceptance, I have to work with the card that I have been dealt and part of that includes being alone. I am not whole, so I can't expect anyone else to accept what I have to offer.
So sorry again for not responding any sooner, I had given up finding help here, I realized my issues did not relate to this site.