The New Intimacy

Right age for sex toys?

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Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
What age do you think it's okay to use or have sex toys?
My little sister came to me (shes 16) and she wants a vibrator. I want to get her one because i'd rather her use that then have sex with a boy. So im just stuck im not 100% sure what to do, so im coming to see what you guys think.
05/11/2011
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Contributor: miracletree miracletree
First of all if your sister is coming to you and asking for a vibrator it means she trusts you and wants to be open with you. So great job with that Second, if she is asking for a vibrator than that means she is probably masturbating anyway. She might feel ready to use a vibrator. Maybe if you guys are open enough with each other you might discuss things in more depth. Things such as why she wants a vibrator in the first place.
Anyway, I say yes to a vibrator. I know I would have loved one at 16.
05/11/2011
Contributor: alliegator alliegator
You and your sister having that kind of open, trusting relationship is great. I would think that yes, it is ok to get her one. Also it would be a chance for you to pass on some good advice for anything she might be curious about. At 16, you know she has already heard things from school, peers, the media, and perhaps porn that are probably un-realistic or incomplete. I wish I'd had a big sis to buy me a vibrator and talk to. Some lube to go with her vibe too. Even if she isn't thinking about it yet, a condom wouldn't hurt. These days most schools don't show actual condoms. I know I was curious the first time I opened one up. Knowing how they feel, how to roll them on something like a toy might make her more comfortable using them when she is ready for sex.
05/11/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I'm also impressed your sister came to you! It sounds like you have a fantastic relationship. I think 16 would be a fine age to have a vibrator, especially if your sister knows enough to ask for one. It would be a great opportunity to talk to her about safety and different materials while you're at it.
05/11/2011
Contributor: tim1724 tim1724
I'd think 16 is a perfectly reasonable age to get started with sex toys. And hopefully if she's comfortable talking to you about vibrators, she'll also be comfortable with you sharing safer sex information and other useful advice with her.
05/11/2011
Contributor: bunny love bunny love
I think it's great that your sister feels comfortable talking to you about masturbation and sex! I don't have a sister or even a younger sibling, but I would definitely buy a sex toy for my hypothetical younger sibling. Masturbation is totally healthy.

It's a great opportunity to teach her about safe materials, which can then lead to a conversation about safer sex. I agree with alliegator that lube and condoms would be good to have on hand, too. Also, make sure she knows how to debunk any questionable information she might hear from her peers. Show her reputable websites. Scarleteen is very popular. Go Ask Alice is great, too.
05/12/2011