This was very insightful, thank you. He's had more partners than I have, but I am way more open about sex than he is. I've never asked him to watch me masturbate because I assumed it would make him uncomfortable. I've peeked on his computer before & he watches pretty standard porn- blowjobs and regular old sex usually. No fetish porn, anal, etc. He never initiates sex either. He's very attractive, and I'm pretty sure he's never really had to put forth much effort to get a girl to go to bed with him. Could that have something to do with it?

He lost his virginity when he was 14 & has had no traumatic experiences (to my knowledge). He's not conservative at all. We're both very liberal people, and open minded about all other things. The only thing he says when I bring it up is "I'm sorry I didn't satisfy you the first time around." I try to tell him it's exactly the opposite- it was so good the first time I want more, but this is usually about the time he turns the TV on.

That he's lazy? It might.

Perhaps he just has a low sex drive. But if he is watching porn there must be something in it for him. Number of prior partners? He may be bragging from being insecure. Keep the lines of communication open!

Wow... that sounds rather... snarky of him. Then again, it's probably just an insecurity thing. My boyfriend's never had a problem with my insatiability--he thinks it's cute! He's willing to have sex with me multiple times in a day, but usually he only cums once, sometimes twice. He also likes using toys on me or watching me use toys on myself if he's not ready to go again. Your boyfriend seems to misinterpret your insatiability as a sign he's not good enough for you (some guys are intimidated by toys that may satisfy better than they can!). Maybe a way to dispel this myth is to just sit him down and have a talk with him... AWAY from the television. It might make him uncomfortable, but then again, most hard topics are. It's your call, either way. This isn't an issue I've had experience with.

Thanks for sharing! I feel like as a modern woman I shouldn't give into the typical stereotype that men ready & willing 24 hours a day. I know this can put added pressure on any male, and possibly even lead to anxiety when they are unable to fulfill this ideal. Plus, I wouldn't want any man to put me into the stereotype that women view sex as something done only to please their man (because that certainly is NOT the case).

Thanks Boink, it really helps to hear this is how other guys are too.

It sounds like he isn't mentally engaged in it. He expects a certain physical feeling to come from it, and there isn't necessarily anything else that goes with it. Being in love helps, or at least really caring about the other person, but making him feel it throughout his entire body would, I think, make all the difference in the world.

One way to do that would be to tie him up, if he'll let you, and if you know what you're doing, or at least are willing to look into it. Teasing a guy can be a good thing, but teasing too much or in the wrong way can be a turn off, perhaps more so than teasing with a girl. Personally, I have a threshold, and the closer I get to that threshold, the less it helps to stop the teasing. In other words, don't get him close and stop - at least, in my experience, that just makes it worse.

If you can tease early on and really turn him on, really make him 'want it', or want you, whatever you want to call it, that 'feeling' will build up inside him, and keep building. It sounds like he doesn't really have that desire to enjoy the act, but really just does it to get to the orgasm. If you can tie him down, or at least get him to let you pleasure him, in a teasing way, try to get him going, but not too much, and try to keep him on a slow boil for about an hour.

Even if he never manages to make it to a second orgasm in a day, he'll want to experience that feeling every time you have sex (and whether you do or don't is irrelevant, it is the goal of getting him to want that 'treat', like a good puppy.

Picture it, if you will. Him begging you to take it further. As long as you haven't brought him too much stimulation at once, he won't have passed the threshold and you'll be able to keep teasing him until you can't take it anymore. And once he does orgasm this way, I think you'll see a change. Best of luck!

& Tony