The New Intimacy

Adrenal Fatigue, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and their sister syndromes

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Contributor: (Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
I couldn't really find much about AF, CFS, and only a little about Fibromyalgia. I happen to have all three in a cluster (with hypothyroid and low progesterone) tossed in the mix.

Basically, I get tired really easily and if I don't take immmaculate care of myself--vitamins, supplements, exercise, healthy regular meals, stress management, tons of sleep--my body hurts like bonkers and my sex drive hides.

It becomes a cycle of fear...living in fear that the very stress caused by putting pressure on myself will hurt my adrenals further (they are already so damaged according to saliva and blood tests that my kidneys are now messed up, so I'm definitely not the norm, I'm pretty advanced in it), and stressing about losing the strength of my relationship and my own sexuality, and on and on.

Anyway, it's a battle, especially because my sleep cycle is off due to coritsol levels being opposite what they should: tired all day and second wind at midnight, wide awake. So I don't want to have sex until my partner is already in bed and snoring. Actually, I want to. I'm just too exhausted or have nerve pain.

I made this thread in hopes that anyone else suffering from these confusing syndromes has a place to vent, share, and discuss.

It sucks being sick and going to a bunch of doctors who insist you're fine! They didn't believe me until years later, firmly in the middle of my second decade of living, my blood tests showed my kidneys were barely chugging along.

I firmly feel sex is a wonderful, curative, healing opportunity. It's just sometimes hard to get to the place where you remember that and reap the benefits.
04/10/2011
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Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
I don't have this in particular, but I do understand where you're coming from. I have dysautonomia, which is a cluster of awful symptoms that come and go at random, and also especially if I'm not taking care of myself. Part of this is having POTS and I believe I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue, but I often forget about it because it just feels like how I live my life.

It also has a lot to do with circadian rhythm and hydration.
If I don't keep a good schedule and routine, my body goes haywire and I'll suddenly be unable to get up in the morning and unable to sleep before 2am at night.
If I don't stay hydrated, my life is utter hell. I get dizzy spells and faint all the time, my heart rate skyrockets, I get really ill feeling. I can get dizzy and see stars just going from slouched to good posture. It's crazy.


No one took it seriously until my mom got me in to see a top neurologist who just very simply looked at me, listened to my symptoms, took my blood pressure, and diagnosed me then and there.


It's really hard, and I can really relate to that feeling of fear and stress. It's a total catch 22, because when you get stressed it makes the conditions worse... and you can't help but be stressed because of the weird symptoms!

Luckily, though, my sex life is not suffering too much. It can be annoying and difficult though, with the exertion. If anything, it's after-sex that bugs me the most. If I've really enjoyed myself, it can be very difficult to sit up right and walk to the kitchen, or even use my legs.
04/10/2011
Contributor: (Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
Quote:
Originally posted by tigerkate
I don't have this in particular, but I do understand where you're coming from. I have dysautonomia, which is a cluster of awful symptoms that come and go at random, and also especially if I'm not taking care of myself. Part of this is ... more
Oh, man! This sounds like I could have written it. In fact, when I was reading it aloud to myself, my boyfriend just asked if that was a post I was composing!

I'm about to try to go to bed (before I get that second wind, like you were talking about! 2am and suddenly I have all the energy in the world!), but I will definitely respond at length tomorrow. I was in particular wondering if you've had your cortisol tested via urine or saliva (getting dizzy while standing up from a sitting position [orthostatic hypotension] and the circadian rhythm thing...often indicative of adrenal woes).

Thanks for posting your story I know it's a very difficult path, and it sucks that it seems like everyone else can pull all-nighters, party all day, get drunk, eat like crap, take no vitamins, and wake up feeling good!

I think it's harder for me interpersonally rather than sexually--holding down a relationship can be really draining.

Anyway, thanks again, and I will babble more tomorrow
04/13/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
I have fibromyalgia, I am married so I don't have to worry so much about the whole dating world and preforming to someone elses expectations, but the pain does change our sexual relationship. I have had to change my own solo pleasure techniques to fit my current abilities.

glad to know I am not the only one who has that late night second wind, I suffer for horrible insomnia these days, its hard for me to get to sleep before 6/7am
04/29/2011
Contributor: mykidsarecrazy mykidsarecrazy
I too, have Fibromyalgia. I'm also a full time single parent. Dating is difficult because when intimacy artists, I'm easily exhausted, or I will dry up quickly due to a side effect of some medications I take. Echoing Tigerkate, the rigidity o a sleep schedule can really mess up any intimacy. I take medication to sleep, otherwise I would only sleep for max 2-3 hrs at a time. If I don't take the meds at the right time, I sleep in too late, or don't have the meds handy (impromptu sleepover), I don't sleep at all and I'm all messed up for an entire day. Also, I could have a hot date planned for the evening, but by mid afternoon, I'm done because the weather shifted, or something. Then I have to cancel. I get bouts where I'm all hot and bothered for days, then nothing for months. The only upside is that because I'm single, I'm not feeling badly about my husband/partner needs not being met. I know my ex-husband couldn't grasp the issues, but the kids were young, and I was yet undiagnosed. The blame just fell on new parenthood, and break down in communication and priorities. I'm glad to read that a) I'm not the only one noticing libido problems, b) that there is hope that there are understanding men out there (happyhomeschoolingmom )! All I can say is that I'm thankful to have B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend), he's quite understanding and is always ready to work, or stay in his drawer. Good luck to everyone!!
07/26/2011