Would you do a guy in a wheelchair?

Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I have been with a guy in a wheelchair and there was no pity involved. He was a nice guy, cute, well mannered, funny as hell and we had a lot in common. I don't do pity sex. No one really benefits from it.
01/09/2011
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I'd wouldn't let that come into my decision process
03/13/2011
Contributor: Stephanie Marie Stephanie Marie
Actually I would most likely. I mean I did fuck a guy with a fake leg once. I don't care if someone has a disability.
And I never do pity sex really.
03/13/2011
Contributor: Awby Awby
I don't do pity sex. Would I have sex with someone who was in a wheelchair? Absolutely!! I've had a partner who was paraplegics -- he was a long-term friend/occasional lover who was a passenger in a horrific accident that landed him in a chair. A year or so after his accident we were cuddling together watching a movie, one thing led to another and we had some amazing sex!! Actually, I got a lot of oral and manual stimulation and he ended up crying afterward because he had thought he would never watch a woman orgasm via his touch again. We ended up having sex with about the same regularity as we did before the accident (fuck like bunnies if we were both single and horny, friends without benefits if one of us was in a relationship). He actually met an amazing woman and they got married a few years ago -- according to him, they have a happy sex life and she is extremely satisfied.
03/25/2011
Contributor: tigerkate tigerkate
I wish you could choose more than one answer!

I have a man, thanks.
But the wheelchair part probably wouldn't matter too much to me either, if he was an awesome guy.
03/26/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
Well, Im in a commited relationship but if god forbid, he ever did end up with a disability, nothing would change.
03/26/2011
Contributor: hornypoet69 hornypoet69
So the consensus seems to be that pity sex is wrong, but supposing you were turned on by guys in wheelchairs? Maybe you think metal is hot (I know I really like boys with braces and piercings). I can see liking wheelchaired people, for being in a wheelchair, without pitying them. Some people might pity people with braces, because of the pain, or because they think it looks ugly. But I think its super hot, surely the same thing could be true of wheelchairs, right?
04/05/2011
Contributor: alliegator alliegator
Yes, if I was attracted to/in love with a guy in a wheelchair I would have sex. But I wouldn't say that "the wheelchair part doesn't matter to me". Him being in a wheelchair would matter very much. It obviously means the chair is a vital aspect of his life, and that we would have to tailor our sexual life to what is physically possible/comfortable for us. So yes, the "wheelchair part" would matter, and yes, we would still have sex.
04/05/2011
Contributor: (Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
So the consensus seems to be that pity sex is wrong, but supposing you were turned on by guys in wheelchairs? Maybe you think metal is hot (I know I really like boys with braces and piercings). I can see liking wheelchaired people, for being in a ... more
I have to agree with you on this. I almost didn't want to say something similar for fear I'd write it wrong and not convey what I meant. Sometimes I have to work not to be offensive or abrasive.

But I think sometimes pity sex vs. legitimate turn-on can be confused.

And anyone with a *visibile disability* has the right to have a chip on their shoulder, most likely due to all the asshats of the world.

Honestly with men I'm submissive (24/7 lifestyle, if I can), and one might think that this particularly aspect would be incompatible. I don't mean that to come across in any hurtful way, I just mean, generally, I don't find men of shorter stature/skinny men/less "powerful" seeming men very attractive.

But I am fine with wheelchairs, be they temporary or permanent. For me, it's mainly about the mind (intellect, spark, chemistry) and mind games (as per the BDSM bit).

I also think it's totally normal for people to think: "Whoa, this is too much; I am a marathon runner and avid hiking enthusiast and I require a partner who can share that with me."

Oh, and yeah...I was talking about this just last night and I mentioned to my partner (in a tender, tipsy moment) that I would absolutely stick around if something happened that disabled him significantly. I spoke of wheelchairs specifically, but also of much more severe things like comas and even total disfigurement (for instance, an accident involving fire). Knocking on wood nothing ever happens, but I'd be there.

My guy has a genetic predisposition to high homocysteine levels (known culprit for causing cardiac events like strokes and heart attacks) and he has controlled epilepsy (grand mals). I knew it all right away -- he is blind in one eye due to a homocysteine level that got really high and caused a stroke, and he doesn't like people playfully smaking his face, so he grabbed my hand and told me on our third encounter. One month in, he had a terrible seizure because he didn't take his meds on time, and his tongue was all chewed up and he couldn't move for days because of the pain, but I won him over (apparently) by sticking by his side to feed and care for him. He thought it was tender and sweet but odd, considering we weren't really dating yet.

I know realistically that he could have a stroke that would leave him like my grandmother: unable to walk and eventally unable to use the bathroom by herself. So wheelchairs and more are a risk. I knew this going in! I really didn't care, but I do selfishly worry something awful will happen to him and leave me suddenly without him--that's my only fear.

Bodies are great for sex and if I like the person, I'll like whatever body they have I completely get why some people are different, and why some people with bodies that aren't as easy manage as other people's bodies might be self-conscious: because they deal with stares and comments from the rude/ignorant general masses. Can really give one a complex.

Pity-fucking is really creepy to me. I'd have to have attraction, thereby negating pity-fuck status. So that one is foreign to me. Though when I stripped (totally different, I know), there were EXTREMELY disabled men who couldn't speak or really move and had staff with them who had to mop up their ever-flowing saliva and wheel them around the busy stripclub. I loved finding a quite spot and dancing for these men, who don't often have the opportunity to even have a genuinely kind touch from an attractive woman. I often got into verbal fights with less gracious patrons of the club who said horrible things to me/the men I danced for. As though they couldn't hear or something. Either way, I got each and every one of those awful "men" booted out so I could focus on the men who really had a purpose for patronizing the stripclub.

Sorry I went on tangents. It's that kind of weekend.
04/10/2011
Contributor: link82 link82
depends on the guy.
05/07/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
If I really liked them I suppose, but to be honest I just haven't met that many people who were in wheelchairs and the ones I have met were either too old for me or ...well, kinda creepy guys at bars hitting on me.
06/09/2011
Contributor: MN58 MN58
the disabilities arent important. but i'm engaged so i would never even think of cheating on my man.
06/10/2011
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandahb
Some women feel a sense of pity for that guy in the wheelchair and the sideways grin. But would that pity lead to sex?
I don't do pity sex, but... from a sexual chemistry standpoint....

it's really omething I never thought about, but men in wheelchairs have killer arms. Besides, I see an inward strength there. Sounds strangely hot to me!
06/18/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
wouldnt matter if liked and everything was fully functional
06/24/2011
Contributor: soyandapplecrisp soyandapplecrisp
I feel like if I had an emotional attraction and liked their personality it wouldn't be a problem. I don't care so much about disability as much as who the person is.
06/27/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandahb
Some women feel a sense of pity for that guy in the wheelchair and the sideways grin. But would that pity lead to sex?
If he was my boyfriend, yes of course I would have sex with him. It would be out of love though, not out of pity.
06/27/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I wouldn't set out to have sex with someone in a wheelchair, but if it happened it happened. I don't think much into this.
06/29/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
The connection has to be mental before it is physical. If we had a connection there, the wheel chair wouldn't matter and it'd be like any other relationship.
06/29/2011
Contributor: Sex'и'Violence Sex'и'Violence
No. It's nothing against the guy but I don't think I could bring myself to do it unless I was with him already before he was paralysed.
08/02/2011
Contributor: Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
I knew a guy in a wheelchair many years ago that I found very attractive. The only reason that I wouldn't have had sex with him was that he was way out of my league. Even in a wheelchair, he had much better looking and more popular girls than me going after him.
08/02/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I voted the wheel chair doesn't matter, but I do have a partner and wouldn't sleep around, but I figured the whole point was asking if we minded the wheel chair part. I don't. I wouldn't sleep with anybody else besides my partner, but if he were in a wheeel chair that would not make me less attracted or not turned on.
08/18/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
uh, if i felt attracted to him, I could see myself having sex with a man in a wheelchair. pity sex is a no no with me
09/19/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
Only if for some reason my boyfriend ended up in a wheelchair. then yes, I'd have sex with him.. but not because of pity. but because i love him. I don't have a wheelchair fetish so I dunno. I also don't pity-sex with people either.
10/01/2011
Contributor: livingadnauseum livingadnauseum
If all the right parts are working I don't see why some extra equipment would be a big deal.
10/02/2011
Contributor: zeb zeb
If I like him
10/12/2011
Contributor: sweetcaroline sweetcaroline
it's not about pity... it shouldn't ever be about pity
11/11/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
What pretty much everyone else said--the disability doesn't matter, if I loved him I would make love to him.
11/12/2011
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
If I had feelings for him, why would the wheelchair matter?
11/12/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandahb
Some women feel a sense of pity for that guy in the wheelchair and the sideways grin. But would that pity lead to sex?
I would NEVER do a guy "out of pity". However, if the guy was phenomenal as a person, wheelchair or not, I COULD end up falling for them, and that could have lead up to sex, without question. IN fact, NONE of us knows what could happen to us at any moment, in life and WE could end up that way too.....so don't be so quick to judge ANYONE with a disability. YOURS may end up being worse someday...or even TODAY! (Life does NOT come with any "guarantees".
11/20/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Pandahb
Some women feel a sense of pity for that guy in the wheelchair and the sideways grin. But would that pity lead to sex?
A wheelchair doesnt mean anything.
11/20/2011