The New Intimacy

Does anyone ever get upset about sex going wrong?

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Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the fact that I've been sick this whole past two weeks with seizures and migraines... or the fact that my husband is just so tired all the time... But I am getting upset that sex isn't going right. I'm not able to orgasm, my mind feels clogged, and he's not putting in any effort to help me.

Does anyone else get upset about this and is it okay to feel upset about this?
11/01/2011
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Contributor: arewehavingfun? arewehavingfun?
I go through phases...I can tell you my life is much easier when all goes well for my husband. He's a beast when having problems!! Its just human nature (physical and psychological) to be down when things (anything) isn't going as you expect/want. It may get worse, but it will get better. Be well.
11/01/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Since meeting my current, I've not experienced this, and I didn't really care in the past...but...

on occasion, he has this issue. Sometimes he can't reach orgasm for one reason or another. Stress plays a huge factor in that, or if he isn't feeling well.

I know that when he can't, he gets pissed. It's with himself, never me of course, or just being pissed off in general, but he gets really really upset about this too.

Agreed with what arewehavingfun? said, it really is just human nature to be upset when something we want to go one way doesn't. No worries, things will straighten themselves out!

Sorry you are experiencing this, and sorry about everything going on that is contributing!
11/01/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Being upset? Probably pretty normal.

Being upset in advance as you're on your way to bed? Also probably pretty normal---and counterproductive.

When you know you're about to have sex, do your best to clear your head (deep breathing, maybe spend a half-hour alone with your toys first?) and meet your husband in a positive mood, without putting any pressure on him from the failed previous attempts. Start fresh each day.

Be well, dear. You'll be getting off with him again soon.
11/01/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Yes, I think it's normal to get upset if sex isn't going well. When I've been through periods when I can't have an orgasm or it's very hard to, I get very upset. Not only am I frustrated and can't relax the way I love to (by coming) but I get anxious the next time we have sex thinking about what would happen if I can't come again. It is a nasty cycle. The same thing happens if we go through periods when my husband is having erection issues or (sometimes worse) is falling asleep during sex.

But, these only last a short period and then we're back to normal. Or whatever pass as normal.

For some reason these happenings make me grateful when thing go well. I appreciate the good times better.
11/01/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
Oh yes, I get pist and upset. I hate when I can not orgasm. Like you I feel as if my mind is clogged and then feel like my partner did not try hard enough for me. Which is not true, because he usually does make me orgasm. I just hate that I did not get mine. I think it is completely normal, we are hormonal and nuts sometimes.
11/01/2011