Help! his sex drive is gone!

Help! his sex drive is gone!

Nympho88 Nympho88
My boyfriend has no sex drive at all any more. and it is really effecting our relationship. I have a very high sex drive(like I could have sex 3+ times a day if I could) And he never wants to have sex. It has even gotten so bad that when we do have sex he puts no effort in at all which in turn turns me off completely. Is there anything out there that really works to bring back mens sex drives? I am desperate here
03/14/2014
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Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Nympho88
My boyfriend has no sex drive at all any more. and it is really effecting our relationship. I have a very high sex drive(like I could have sex 3+ times a day if I could) And he never wants to have sex. It has even gotten so bad that when we do have ...
How old is he? How long have you been together? What you describe sounds like a serious problem, and one that has nothing to do with sex drive, but with a relationship that is broken. Words like "no effort" and "turns me off completely" are not something that a book, video, or pill are going to cure. If you are in a "long term" relationship, it sounds like you need some heavy duty couples counseling to find out what is really going on.
Good luck.
03/14/2014
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Nympho88
My boyfriend has no sex drive at all any more. and it is really effecting our relationship. I have a very high sex drive(like I could have sex 3+ times a day if I could) And he never wants to have sex. It has even gotten so bad that when we do have ...
My boyfriend hardly has any sex drive as well, but this is something that I kind of knew going into the relationship.

Bignuf asks very valid questions. You should ask yourself those questions and then probably take it on the couple's level as well.

My boyfriend has admitted to have very little feeling toward the head of his penis, and I've tested it myself with a few blow jobs. He can get hard and turned on, but he honestly hardly feels it. Tested it with teeth. The rare times that we do have sex, it can last for 2-4 hours. Mostly because he's not getting off haha.

My sex drive used to be pretty high up there, but I hardly feel it anymore due to stress.
03/14/2014
edeneve edeneve
I agree w/ Bignuf. I think it's a result of the state of your relationship & not a physical issue.
03/14/2014
Nympho88 Nympho88
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
How old is he? How long have you been together? What you describe sounds like a serious problem, and one that has nothing to do with sex drive, but with a relationship that is broken. Words like "no effort" and "turns me off ...
Well he has always had a lower sex drive than I have. But it seems that ever since he has started this medication he as to take daily its not there at all. :/ I have asked him if there was more to it but he says no. Idk what else to do! He is trying to find a doctor because he swears its something medical.
03/15/2014
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by Nympho88
Well he has always had a lower sex drive than I have. But it seems that ever since he has started this medication he as to take daily its not there at all. :/ I have asked him if there was more to it but he says no. Idk what else to do! He is trying ...
A lot of medications can honestly completely kill a sex drive. Especially if it's any kind of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant.
03/15/2014
epiphanyjayne epiphanyjayne
Try Testosterone boosting foods, like: Tuna, avocados, pomegranates, Venison, honey, Milk, eggs, Cabbage, Goji berries.
03/15/2014
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Nympho88
Well he has always had a lower sex drive than I have. But it seems that ever since he has started this medication he as to take daily its not there at all. :/ I have asked him if there was more to it but he says no. Idk what else to do! He is trying ...
Medication? That paint's a potentially different story. There are a LOT of different medicines that can effect one's libido (sex drive) and it is a known side effect that any good internist or GP will recognize and has heard before (no hesitation or shame needed). That can be a serious (as you see) side effect on one's relationship, and there are usually alternatives and ways to "work around" the problem and get your life back. Please, please, please get him to a good doctor and explain everything to them, making sure to have a complete list of medication he takes and a "timeline" for what happened. Knowing his "sex drive" was high before and now has dropped is a critical bit of info you don't want to leave out. Best wishes
03/15/2014
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by epiphanyjayne
Try Testosterone boosting foods, like: Tuna, avocados, pomegranates, Venison, honey, Milk, eggs, Cabbage, Goji berries.
I hate to say "not a good idea", but in fact certain foods can interact badly, or block medication he might be on. I would start with a good medical doctors advice before altering the diet and adding items, such as different berries, that can possibly cause unexpected medical issues in this specific case. Any good internist or GP now is going to be aware of supplements and diets as part of either helping or avoiding the problem.
03/15/2014
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Medication can affect one's sex drive. And so can too much stress.
03/15/2014
witch-drummer witch-drummer
Time to move on to a new man. There are millions of men out there wishing their women had your sex drive, why are you wasting your time with one who would rather be doing something else?
09/10/2014
Msmaraschino Msmaraschino
Quote:
Originally posted by Nympho88
My boyfriend has no sex drive at all any more. and it is really effecting our relationship. I have a very high sex drive(like I could have sex 3+ times a day if I could) And he never wants to have sex. It has even gotten so bad that when we do have ...
Does he eat healthy and work out? I noticed the dudes who I have dated who ate crap and didn't take care of themselves had a much lower sex drive then the fitter dudes.
09/13/2014
ryejon ryejon
Quote:
Originally posted by Msmaraschino
Does he eat healthy and work out? I noticed the dudes who I have dated who ate crap and didn't take care of themselves had a much lower sex drive then the fitter dudes.
I lived a sedentary lifestyle for months. I lacked endorphins during those months and I became more prone to stress. I ate crappy food but I'm still hygienic as always. It is true that I lost sex drive and I find it hard to maintain a decent erection. It's not required for a guy to get fit just to have a high sex drive, having a balanced and good lifestyle is enough. Stress and of course anxiety is the reason for some us having a low sex drive.
Nov 22, 10:35 pm
Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Nympho88
My boyfriend has no sex drive at all any more. and it is really effecting our relationship. I have a very high sex drive(like I could have sex 3+ times a day if I could) And he never wants to have sex. It has even gotten so bad that when we do have ...
Not knowing your ages or history complicates this, but it does sound like an emotional problem rather than a physical one. There are a lot of medications, especially antidepressants that will kill a sex drive. I would kook back and try to figure out exactly when the trouble started. What was going on with your lives and relationship just prior to the change. From my own experience, there was a time I was extremely stressed by a job and relationship issues with my ex wife. It was at the time my kid brother passed away that totally changed my willingness to continue battling all the garbage in our marriage, it killed my libido, I got depressed, and shortly entered counseling. It took quite a while before I felt good again, and ready to engage life in full.

So look deeply and candidly and see if there is anything that was a trigger. If you were happy and sexually satisfied, then look for a physical cause, or medication interference. Talk to him and don't pressure him. You need to be cautious about not blaming or ridiculing him. You could go a couples counselor and try to sort the problem out.

Good luck in you future. Hopefully you will find a way to move forward, as long as it is what you both want.
Nov 23, 7:33 pm
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 10