My wife and I have always enjoyed a great sex life! Two wonderful kids are proof something worked. But my current dilemma is how to balance the quick obligatory marital love making with longer, adventurous sex sessions.

I seem to be in the exception to the rule...but as the "guy", I'm more interested in the longer, foreplay heavy episodes, where as my wife is more interested in the quick romp. In all fairness, we are both extremely busy and the two kids (both under 10) leave little time to lounge naked around the house enjoying one another.

My question to the community is what do others do? How do others balance the calm, quiet love making and also find time and ways to motivate your partner to embark on (and enjoy) the more adventurous sexual escapades. less

Well - you may be unusual - but not alone. Like you I'm more interested in longer sessions than my wife. What I learned was that it came down to two things;
1. The time pressure - no matter how helpful you are, she's probably doing more than you! I know that's true of my wife.
2. My wife was not aware of the multiple and extended orgasms that can occur with a prolonged session of making love.

Here's how I've moved her toward my camp (and she's glad she has):

First; I agree to a quickie every time she wants one - obvious I know. But I would always extend things a little by introducing something small - but new. A new toy or technique.

Second; I used my extra time (while she as doing the laundry or shopping) to plan a truly fabulous love making session for a Saturday evening when the kids were away. My formula was to make it about 80% what she wanted - dinner, movie, etc. and 20% what I wanted - hot extended sex. Massage, feathers, a string of pearls, new lingerie, toys, etc.

The better I made her feel - the better the payback was for me. Make her understand 'It's good to be the queen!'

A word of caution - this took place over a 10+ year span. Progress was sometimes slow - but hey I figured I have my whole life - so no need to hurry.

Hope this helps - good luck! less

My wife and I have always enjoyed a great sex life! Two wonderful kids are proof something worked. But my current dilemma is how to balance the quick obligatory marital love making with longer, adventurous sex sessions.

I seem to be in the exception to the rule...but as the "guy", I'm more interested in the longer, foreplay heavy episodes, where as my wife is more interested in the quick romp. In all fairness, we are both extremely busy and the two kids (both under 10) leave little time to lounge naked around the house enjoying one another.

My question to the community is what do others do? How do others balance the calm, quiet love making and also find time and ways to motivate your partner to embark on (and enjoy) the more adventurous sexual escapades. less

Well - you may be unusual - but not alone. Like you I'm more interested in longer sessions than my wife. What I learned was that it came down to two things;
1. The time pressure - no matter how helpful you are, she's probably doing more than you! I know that's true of my wife.
2. My wife was not aware of the multiple and extended orgasms that can occur with a prolonged session of making love.

Here's how I've moved her toward my camp (and she's glad she has):

First; I agree to a quickie every time she wants one - obvious I know. But I would always extend things a little by introducing something small - but new. A new toy or technique.

Second; I used my extra time (while she as doing the laundry or shopping) to plan a truly fabulous love making session for a Saturday evening when the kids were away. My formula was to make it about 80% what she wanted - dinner, movie, etc. and 20% what I wanted - hot extended sex. Massage, feathers, a string of pearls, new lingerie, toys, etc.

The better I made her feel - the better the payback was for me. Make her understand 'It's good to be the queen!'

A word of caution - this took place over a 10+ year span. Progress was sometimes slow - but hey I figured I have my whole life - so no need to hurry.

Hope this helps - good luck! less

I definitely prefer the longer sessions. We have 2 that are under 10 as well, so finding time is a real challenge. We have a pretty strict bedtime for the kids of 8:30, so once they're in bed and asleep is typically when we make the time.

There are days we sneak it in as well, basically having a day filled with short foreplay sessions (15 minutes or less) in the shower, in the laundry room, garage, wherever the kids are not, before bedtime.

A big motivation for us has been the purchase of sex furniture that doubles as functional furniture, as well as all the new toys that are making their way into our house. My husband has become much more adventurous less