I've been with a few people who have no problem casually sleeping with someone, but when it comes to someone they've started to care about they just can't do it. It's not a matter of "right" and "wrong", either. It's not for the sake of the developing relationship. Their head just gets full of strange feelings and they can't continue even though they really want to.

On the other hand, personally, I have strange things like this happen to me, too. It could be the best sex ever with someone I truly love, but sometimes I completely disconnect and become morbidly depressed and weepy or angry, so sometimes I avoid sex because of the fear of this happening.

I know there are quite of you who can relate because there has been a slightly similar thread, but does anyone have any insight into this? Anyone ever figure out how to work it out?

This guy I've very recently started seeing and I slept together the other night (on our marathon of a first date, yeah) after there was obviously a deep connection and passionate chemistry there. (We had talked on the phone for a while). It was absolutely amazing and comfortable, but now both of us are back in fear mode and trying to work through it together.

I just want to know what other people have thought and/or done about it or had experience with anything similar. less

This is a very complex matter. Working through it together is absolutely the right approach and, that is where you will find your answer.

When we become emotionally involved with someone, our emotions become intertwined with the sex, whereas casual sex not so much. All our fears, doubts, insecurities, and questions we experience as the relationship begins become part of sex as well. In a sense, we're moving from having sex with our body to having sex with our soul (not necessarily a religious thing, a human essence thing). Just as we hesitate on the first 'I love you,' we hesitate with the deep emotional bonds that have suddenly become the consequence of sex. Hesitation can be good - it affords us time to think things through (if we choose to take the opportunity) and discuss each step with our partner.

Pretty scary, huh? Well, the reason we all hang ourselves out there is because when it works - when you feel your partner's soul within you and yours within them and there is no place you'd rather be - it is the ultimate human experience, life's greatest reward. less