What Defines A Sex Addict? And is it Such A Bad Thing?

Contributor: PonyPlay PonyPlay
I was just starting this post because I was curious what a sex addict is or what you think it is. People have told me that I am a sex addict and should get treatment but I am very happy I don't feel there is anything wrong with me both me and my husband got together when I was 14 and he was 16 and we have only ever had sex with each other. People say I am a sex addict though because I need to have sex 2 to 3 times a day or I don't feel good my husband is the same way though so it works for us. We have had sex in public quite a few time though and are both really into BDSM. I guess my question is what makes a person a sex addict? And why does everyone thinks it wrong to be a sex addict?
07/18/2010
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Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Sex addiction is considered a very serious problem by most in the psychological and psychiatric fields. The website for Sex Addicts Anonymous lists some of the general characteristics of sex addiction as:

-powerlessness over addictive behavior
-preoccupation with sex leading to ritual
-feelings of shame, pain, self-loathing
-progressive worsening of negative consequences
-resulting in unmanageability of one's life

Those with actual sex addiction will have sex, no matter how dire the consequences to themselves or those around them if left untreated. It is also sometimes categorized as a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. It is frequently compared to drug or alcohol addiction, as the people suffering from it are overpowered by their addiction.

So as much as the term 'sex addict' gets thrown around in humor, the real thing is very threatening and serious, and ruins many peoples' lives. Most serious sex addicts require intensive therapy and sometimes psychological medications.

If you have been faithful to one person for an extended period of time and have not had any negative effect from your sex drive on your life, you are probably not one. You most likely simply have a very high sex drive, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
07/18/2010
Contributor: joja joja
ToriRebel pretty much got to the heart of it, but let me just add that most of these kinds of sexual problems are not considered harmful unless you are experiencing negative effects. For example, even if you can never orgasm, you are not considered someone with an orgasmic disorder unless you are distressed by it.

Therefore, you could theoretically have sex 50 times a day without being a true sex addict, as long as you don't experience any negative impact on your life/body/mind.
07/18/2010
Contributor: PonyPlay PonyPlay
Quote:
Originally posted by joja
ToriRebel pretty much got to the heart of it, but let me just add that most of these kinds of sexual problems are not considered harmful unless you are experiencing negative effects. For example, even if you can never orgasm, you are not considered ... more
I guess one problem I personally have is that if I don't have sex I feel very stressed out and have had panic attacks over not having sex. Even if sex is painful for me at times when I am sore or even when I have a bladder infection I find that I will feel better having sex. Is it possible that I am addicted to the hormones released after having sex and they are balancing me out somehow.
07/18/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Do you feel that your need to have sex is mostly psychological , physical (as in just horny ALL the time) or both? I find this very interesting.

If you have no urge to have sex with anyone but your husband, then maybe your hormones are just in overdrive. I was pretty horny at 20 too, much more so than now. *sniffle* Sexual addicts can have behaviors that hurt others, but I'm not an expert on the matter. But if it is interfering with your work, your personal life, your relationships, then I guess it could be classified as an addiction. Does thinking about it non-stop constitute being an addict? I think about sex a lot, but I don't consider myself an addict by any means. I'm just a sexual person, I'm just not having sex more than a few times a month, but I masturbate at least 2-4 times a week.
07/18/2010
Contributor: PonyPlay PonyPlay
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
Do you feel that your need to have sex is mostly psychological , physical (as in just horny ALL the time) or both? I find this very interesting.

If you have no urge to have sex with anyone but your husband, then maybe your hormones are just ... more
It's weird because I don't know if it's psychological or physical? I mean it seems to be both sometimes, for example, I will feel very emotional when I don't have sex and when I say don't have sex I mean not having sex at least 2 times a day. When I get emotional I feel stressed and agitated, I also tend to feel physically bad. I don't know if this is normal but I get headaches and my pussy actually aches when I don't have sex it seems to go away right after. I guess I don't really understand it, I was thinking that maybe my body is addicted to the hormones released when I have sex and when I don't my body is having some sort of withdrawal?
07/18/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by PonyPlay
It's weird because I don't know if it's psychological or physical? I mean it seems to be both sometimes, for example, I will feel very emotional when I don't have sex and when I say don't have sex I mean not having sex at least 2 ... more
You may want to see a Dr., especially if you are having some type of anxiety related to it. There could be a hormonal/chemical thing going on. Not that it's bad to be horny! But if you are experiencing unpleasant side effects, such as headaches, I would have that checked out.

I remember when I would get fucked good and would be so wet afterward with a throbbing pussy. That's pretty normal. But headaches? Not at all.
07/18/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
"Sexual addiction" is not recognized by the DSM nor the ICD. Most reputable psychologists maintain that the term "sex addict" is illogical because sex is a biological compulsion and necessity and therefore cannot be an addiction. What is often called a "sexual addiction" is actually misdiagnosed sexual narcissism or sexual compulsivity. Certainly there are a variety of disorders that include problematic sexual behavior, but "sexual addiction" is a kind of colloquial, psycho-babble term. It is not an established disorder according to any reputable medical authority.
07/18/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Actually, for anyone that's interested, a little Googling turned up this article which I found pretty interesting. It talks more about what I touched on above.
07/18/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
"Sexual addiction" is not recognized by the DSM nor the ICD. Most reputable psychologists maintain that the term "sex addict" is illogical because sex is a biological compulsion and necessity and therefore cannot be an addiction. ... more
That goes with my personal definition of not being able to control sexual impulses illegal or legal on a reoccurring basis that negatively affects the individuals life and those involved in it.

Yes, it is a bad thing.
07/18/2010
Contributor: PonyPlay PonyPlay
I have a question though... Is it possible to be addicted to someone like a individual? Because I don't have any desire to sleep with anyone besides my husband but I need his attention sexually all the time. I just makes me feel calm and collected and I physically feel better and have more energy. I guess I am just confused at this point about it all.
07/19/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by PonyPlay
I have a question though... Is it possible to be addicted to someone like a individual? Because I don't have any desire to sleep with anyone besides my husband but I need his attention sexually all the time. I just makes me feel calm and ... more
Better your husband than someone else! There's nothing wrong with that.
07/19/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by PonyPlay
I was just starting this post because I was curious what a sex addict is or what you think it is. People have told me that I am a sex addict and should get treatment but I am very happy I don't feel there is anything wrong with me both me and my ... more
I don't know if I believe in "sex addiction." I've seen the term used in several ways. One, for rich, powerful men to get out of ANY personal responsibility when they are cheating on their partners, and Two, used by people who get less sex than I do. ( )

I also agree and it seems to be agreed upon that an "addiction" brings you not only anxiety about doing it, or not doing it, but prevents you from participating in other parts of life, like eating, sleeping, bathing, working, socializing etc. Also, when something brings you more unhappiness than happiness, but you continue to do it, despite evidence that it isn't good for you and don't seem to be able to stop. (Of course, most people could put their JOBS into this category. What a fucked up Society we are.)

I think a lot of us are "addicted" to the endorphin rush from sex. I think you are SUPPOSED to, to both bond with partners and to keep the species going, from a scientific standpoint.

Mostly, and "Addiction" is something you do, that you know you shouldn't, that no longer brings you the pleasure it once did, and you can't stop despite wanting to, and it takes up time and energy that you could be using on more important life activities.

That's my take on it.
07/19/2010
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by PonyPlay
I was just starting this post because I was curious what a sex addict is or what you think it is. People have told me that I am a sex addict and should get treatment but I am very happy I don't feel there is anything wrong with me both me and my ... more
It is an addiction when it interferes with your emotional well being, or others around you, you cannot properly function in life, and/or you put it above your other responsibilities and duties.
12/03/2010
Contributor: PetiteAsian PetiteAsian
Quote:
Originally posted by PonyPlay
I was just starting this post because I was curious what a sex addict is or what you think it is. People have told me that I am a sex addict and should get treatment but I am very happy I don't feel there is anything wrong with me both me and my ... more
Wow that's quite often for being together for so long. Good for you!
02/28/2013