The New Intimacy

A Day Trip to the STD Testing Clinic

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Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Related to: 
A Day Trip to the STD Testing Clinic
As always, Sarah wrote an article that made me think. What has stuck in my head is how profound the difference in treatment Sarah and her Partner received at the same clinic turned out to be.

I feel exceptionally lucky that my personal doctor is so very cool with my lifestyle choices and that I've actually had excellent luck at clinics but it makes me wonder how many others have had less than nice experiences?
08/10/2009
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Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
This is very interesting to read... but nothing to add myself
08/10/2009
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Alan & I used to go for routine testing on a regular basis before we got married, and yes, he always received the more respectful treatment. They usually treated him as if he were being responsible for being tested, and me like I was already diseased. Over the years, I've tended to avoid doctors more and more because early on they gained an "enemy" status in the back of my mind. And where we live, the nurses are even worse.
08/10/2009
Contributor: Red Red
That was very lame treatment Sarah received!

I do my health stuff at a clinic, due to location and convenience, and I always have a new female doctor for every annual exam. It's a crap shoot how they'll respond to my request for the full barrage of tests - last time, I didn't even get a batted eye, and she wrote down "hepatitus" on my blood testing form without me even having to ask. COOL. The time before that? Yeah, totally got the third degree about what a married woman was doing making these requests.

I'm about to move to a new place - country even! And I am hunting very very carefully for an appropriate doctor. I think I deserve it, frankly!
08/10/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Alan & I used to go for routine testing on a regular basis before we got married, and yes, he always received the more respectful treatment. They usually treated him as if he were being responsible for being tested, and me like I was already ... more
That's been my experience most of the time as well, if I went to the university clinic. I've always had great doctors, dentists, etcetera, however, so the shitty nurse practitioner did not scare me away from STI testing. (Not that she really could, though, I'm anal retentive about it.)

It was especially interesting when I was practicing polyfidelity prior to my college years and we added a new man to our group. As was routine, new partner = everybody got tested before we had sex, just to be safe. I guess the folks at the free clinic could tell the four of us were all together...the men who worked there thought our boyfriends were just the berries, the coolest guys EVAH, and they leered at us the whole time, like just because my female partner and I had two male partners, they could definitely get some. The women working there just seemed confused that we were as happy as the men were. ::rolls eyes::

Really, I am just sick of the double standard. I've had 8 partners, only half of whom I was in a romantic relationship with, so that makes me a whore, but I know guys with numbers ten times that, and everybody just says, "Oh, it's cause he's CHARMING." What am I? So bitchy people fuck me just to keep me at bay?
08/10/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Quote:
Originally posted by Red
That was very lame treatment Sarah received!

I do my health stuff at a clinic, due to location and convenience, and I always have a new female doctor for every annual exam. It's a crap shoot how they'll respond to my request for the ... more
Ugh, that's ridiculous. It reminds me of those signs that say, "Marriage: the ultimate protection from AIDS." Um, wow, so marriage is like a mega-condom now? Where can I sign up?!
08/10/2009
Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
I must say that when I moved I was very upset by the treatment I received. My old Dr knew my lifestyle and he was very shocked when I ended up pregnant (with my husband's child)...he just looked at me and said, through condoms and birth control? YUP! To which he just said, well crap, I know I just tested you 4 months ago, but I am running another full screen just to be safe, ok?

See how awesome he was!?!?

Here, not so much. When I go into get tested (and we are monogamous) I get the third degree and a lecture on how I will need to tell my husband about whatever comes back positive. What the hell? No kidding, I know that. I get tested every six months just to be tested because, as Backseat Boohoo said...Marriage is not the ultimate protection from aids. Really, why is it we are whores and irresponsible but men are just men? I feel if we are both being tested just to be tested, then we are both being safe. Period.
08/31/2009
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
Wow. I had no idea that men were treated differently. I remember once in college I was told that since I had asked for an STD check that they had to check me for lice too. The nurse was clearly disgusted at having to do that. It felt awful to be mawed by someone when you can feel the hatred.
08/31/2009
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
I've asked my doctors before and they just laughed at me and told me not to worry about it. So besides whatever my gyn tests for... Unfortunately I don't really know. I guess this is because the doc I saw thought I was too ugly to get laid or something. Maybe I should go to a clinic, but free clinics around here are awfully unsanitary sometimes.
08/31/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
I had a very nice younger male gyn when I had private insurance. He was very polite to me, but he was under-educated.

When I first starting having sex with women he told me that I couldn't "really get anything." {THIS IS INCORRECT}

So even though he was respectful, it didn't matter.

We don't have any free clinics with 100 miles of my home. You can go to the health department, but you have to know which tests to request and they will NOT give you printed results.

I think this thread is proof of a failure of the U.S. health care system. It isn't as if we are discussing shoes here. Peoples lives and health are at stake.
08/31/2009
Contributor: ShercockHolmes ShercockHolmes
When I went to the health department clinic they changed the price from free to $50.00. how is a person who can't afford food supposed to find $50 ? Also, the card I got to call back for the results, the lady wrote the wrong date to call back so I ended up having to call back like two other days for over a month until I got someone. Then, when I called the lady said she didn't see any results for me. I was like, WHAT?!!! So I repeated the number like twice and then finally she said, "oh, whoops. I was typing X instead of X-no everything was negative good bye" and then hung up.
01/19/2010
Contributor: Saraid Saraid
I got tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea. My school swabs for HIV in the spring, so I'll do that then. I know I don't have syphilis as my partner would be exhibiting symptoms by now if he had it and he isn't.
01/19/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
My Dr. office treated me like I was a complete moron when one of Sigel's partners was diagnosed with HPV. It was like I was asking them for free shit when all I was asking was for an appointment to get checked out! They were only interested enough to point out that I had already had my "yearly" exam and my insurance company wouldn't pay for another...like that was a consideration. Now when I finally got to talk to my DR. he was INCENSED at the receptionist and reprimanded her on the spot. he then educated me on HPV exposure and assured me that I was fine after taking a peek at my cervix, he also checks again whenever I am there just to be sure. He knows our relationship dynamic and tests me for a "full panel" every time I request, if the insurance won't pay then I will because it's that important.

I still get a hassle if I call and ask for an STD screen but Sigel gets the next available appointment. I like to think it's because they know that I am polyfidelitous while he isn't but it's still irresponsible in my opinion.
01/31/2010