Permanent birth control

Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
And by permanent I mean tubal ligations (and hysterectomies, for that matter) and vasectomies.

Are you "fixed"? I am, and by choice, which I know surprises a lot of people, considering that I'm only 25. But my husband and I had our daughter when I was 20 and he was 22, and we were 22 and 24, respectively, when our son was born (for the record, our daughter was unplanned, while our son was planned).

For the first two or so year after my son was born, I had some pangs of regret. But only a few, and only here or there. Overall, I was very happy with my decision to have my tubes clamped (which I also know has a 95% success rate when reversed). But once he turned three, and especially once he was potty-trained, I definitely began to relish the freedom that comes with little kids who are beginning to be more self-entertaining, self-sufficient, and independent.

Now? I LOVE being fixed. I embrace it. I'm so happy to not have to deal with the hassle of birth control, and I know my husband loves it too. Now he just needs to get that vasectomy so he can be doubly sure, and we'll be all set...
03/30/2010
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Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I had a tubal ligation by choice too. The day after my now 10 years old son was born. Mine are cut, tied and cauterized - irreversible. And I never regretted it, not once. Two kids is enough for me, and I know that.

Now, was it a pain to get that tubal? Yes. The referrals, the pysch eval, the counselor - which are all standard - and then getting it done while I was awake and blocked via an epidural...and hemorrhaging during the surgery. Oh man - what a mess. But yes, I am GLAD I had it done.
03/30/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I don't want any kids at all, so I want to be sterilized. The fact that I've never had kids and am a virgin had better not hinder my ability to have it done. I figure at nearly 33 years old, it shouldn't be a problem.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I wanted it since I was 13 (working at a childcare center is the best form of birth control mankind has ever created), but my mother didn't take me seriously. At 32, on the pill, no children, and still not wanting children, my mother finally informed me 'If you had said you wanted your tubes tied instead of yelling about wanting a hysterectomy, then I would have taken you seriously and gotten it done.'

All on account of proper definitions due to her medical education! That was the closest I had ever came to committing matricide. (She's still alive, don't worry.) It didn't matter which procedure to me, as long as I would never spawn.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
You cannot usually get such things done in my state until you're a certain age or until you already have children. I think it's kinda silly.. I wonder if they put men through the same run-around that women get?

I used to want one when I was younger, but now that I've grown up and found a partner with whom I would like to reproduce, I am very glad that I was never allowed or encouraged to get it done. I think I will end up having a small gaggle of kids someday. I do completely understand why, however, someone would get it done.

Worst case scenario.. they can always go back in and get some eggs from your ovaries, if you've kept them. I personally would never get those removed even if I hated children more than anything in the world- my grandma insists it's lies, but she got hers done and now she HAS to take hormones every day just to be normal, since your ovaries produce hormones that are important for more than just reproduction. I'm not sure if its like that anymore, but I wouldn't take the risk. Besides, I'd like to exit the world with all of my bodily possessions.. would've kept my wisdom teeth too but they told me it was a biohazard.. to myself.. and refused to let me take them home.

Yes, I'm a freak.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
I'm not fixed, but I'm sure some day I will be. My boyfriend of 3 years and I both don't want children, as of now at least. Since I'm only 22, obviously I'm in no rush to get fixed.. but I really don't think my mind will change on the topic. Everyone says that one day I'll want kids, but I'm pretty sure I won't. My lifestyle just isn't suited for having children, and there's too many things that can go wrong that I just wouldn't be able to handle if I were to have any children.

Call me selfish, but I intend to live my life for ME. And I don't feel as if to live a fulfilling life, I have to spread my seed. Of course I'll save some eggs just in case I get the procedure and one day have a pang of regret, but I highly doubt that day will ever come. I'm just not the "mom" type.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
You cannot usually get such things done in my state until you're a certain age or until you already have children. I think it's kinda silly.. I wonder if they put men through the same run-around that women get?

I used to want one when ... more
It's probably as bad here -- in Pennsylvania. I had to jump through some major hoops and bug my OB to death before she'd finally consent to it. Then the bitch chose the least-permanent form of permanent BC -- "clamping" my fallopian tubes with plastic clips instead of cutting, tying, or burning them -- mid-surgery.
03/30/2010
Contributor: removedacnt removedacnt
To this day I can still have children....I think. But hubby cannot. After our 4th child was born he said "no more". I told him it was his turn to take care of the birth control. So he got a vasectomy. That was a little over 24 years ago.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
I actually was just looking into this yesterday. There's a new method called "Essure" that doesn't require any invasive procedure at all for permanent birth control for the female. I'm still to young to do it, but as both the fiance and I don't want children, it is a viable option for our future.

I'd be pretty afraid of a hysterectomy, but if it was the only option, it'd be a serious option.
03/30/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
I was asked if I wanted to have my tubes tied after my first was born, when I was 18. I declined.

Two years and four months later, my second was born and I had thought about it but wasn't sure.

A year and a day later, my third was born and I had everything set to go. The nurses nearly dumped me out of the wheel chair while pushing me to prep for surgery, because they were so impatient. They also kept cutting me while shaving me and the general attitude of them pissed me off. They demanded my wedding band, prior to surgery, and I told them I'd wait for my husband to come because they had already lost paperwork, keys and medicine and my wedding ring was a hell of a lot more important than those to me. They got bitchy with me and I was very emotional, after giving birth and all, and by the time my OB/GYN came in to talk to me I was sobbing. She told me she wouldn't do the surgery because it was obvious I was upset and not in a state to make a permanent decision like that. She stayed and comforted me a bit too and told me I could always make the decision to have it done later. My father-in-law wasn't too happy, but he got over it.

When I found out I was pregnant again the summer after my third child was born I decided it was time. I had been on several different forms of hormonal birth control, had issues with all of them (couldn't handle anything emotionally besides progesterone, which wasn't strong enough to keep me from getting pregnant). I got them tied the day after my youngest, and only daughter was born. I'm glad I waited because I think our family is complete now. I've always wanted a lot of kids. We got mine done because it was easier to do right after birth. They actually did the surgery through my belly button.
03/30/2010
Contributor: SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I actually was just looking into this yesterday. There's a new method called "Essure" that doesn't require any invasive procedure at all for permanent birth control for the female. I'm still to young to do it, but as both the ... more
I was thinking about doing the Essure. In Feb, I had to have my IUD removed surgically, they couldn't find the string to pull in out. They even tried with ultasound and still couldn't get it. So, out they put me the get that sucker out.

So, last week I went back in to get another one and to talk to my doc about possibly doing the Essure. I decided to get the IUD again. Not many doctors do this procedure. I would have had to have it done as out-patient or drive to far. And then you have to use some other type of birth control for 3 months till they make sure it has taken (scared over). I didn't want to wait, so in went the IUD.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
When my daughter was 2 (and my son 5), we decided that 2 was enough. He didn't want me to go through the surgery, so he had a vasectomy.

We have no regrets - I did early on, when I thought maybe I wanted a third, but really, two are enough to handle for us. And it's meant no more pill, which I'm glad to be off of.
03/30/2010
Contributor: SydVicious SydVicious
I am not "fixed" lol but we are looking into the options. There is alot more involved for a female so I think we are looking into my husband getting a vasectomy. We have one daughter who will be 2 in may. We have always wanted just one child. I LOVE LOVE being her mom and having her is the best thing I have ever done in my life, but for me I don't want a bunch of kids. I want to be able to give her the love and attention she needs. Also, as a military family we move around alot and I cannot imagine moving around a truck load of kids.
03/30/2010
Contributor: Angel deSanguine Angel deSanguine
My husband had a vas two and a half years ago. For him it was a very quick procedure (and he was hilarious on the valium they gave him to take on the way in to relax him) and he took the script for the pain meds for I think it was a day and a half before switching to Advil. He kept the bag of peas around for several days though!

It's been a totally painless procedure after the initial healing. He opted to be snipped because I needed to come off of my BC pill and he felt it was a completely jackass thing to do to make me undergo a ligation and the recovery it entails when for him it's two days of pain followed by a week of discomfort (his words, NOT mine!!!) He brought it up because we never want kids and I left the final decision up to him, even offering him one last chance to back out if he wanted to as he was walking back to the room! We was, and still are, sure it was the right choice for us. We both love the freedom that being child free provides. It's also become a joke for us when we see a banshee kid in a store or restaurant and he'll look at me and go 'and THAT is why!' and we'll get a good laugh.
03/30/2010
Contributor: TheyBelongToUs TheyBelongToUs
I had a tubal ligation when my youngest was a year old. I knew that while my body could handle more pregnancies, I wasn't sure I wanted any more c-sections (I had two.). And we just were not in a position to have any more kids. I got the tubal instead of him getting a vasectomy for a variety of reasons.
04/02/2010
Contributor: Elodie Elodie
I've always wanted to adopt an older kid, ever since I was a child myself, rather than going through the birth/baby process. I like children and I don't like babies.

My boyfriend's never wanted babies either, so after we thought about it for a while to be sure, he happily went and got a vasectomy. It was a really fast, easy procedure. He was sore for about a week, and it was kind of funny seeing him sit there with a bag of frozen peas pressed against his crotch. Totally worth it to be able to go off birth control. He was a total loon on the pain meds; he actually hit on me when I went to get him after the surgery.
04/17/2010
Contributor: GNGenie GNGenie
I'm not 100% sure of where I stand on children yet, but once I make up my mind (or have two children, that's my absolute limit) away go my reproductive capabilities. I admit I get a little aggravated though when I think about how much easier it is for men to get fixed and the fact that my husband refuses to have it done "Because he might want children later". If he and I had a child right now, he'd be 60 when it turned 20. Unfair.
04/18/2010
Contributor: Saraid Saraid
I really want the Essure procedure done, but cannot find a physician who will perform it on me since I have no children. Which makes little to no sense because the reason I want it is to not have children. I wish I could just sign a waiver saying, "I won't sue you if I later feel an impulse to reproduce."
04/18/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
Quote:
Originally posted by Saraid
I really want the Essure procedure done, but cannot find a physician who will perform it on me since I have no children. Which makes little to no sense because the reason I want it is to not have children. I wish I could just sign a waiver saying, ... more
There are child-free communities around (like on livejournal) where they have lists of doctors who are willing to do procedures for people who don't want kids without giving them the whole 'you might change your mind' spiel. If there isn't one listed you can even post to the community asking if anyone knows of doctors in your area. You may wind up doing a bit of traveling to find one. It would be worth looking into though.
04/18/2010
Contributor: Sweetie Pie Sweetie Pie
My husband had a vasectomy done at Christmas, three children later. I regretted it and was even peeved at him for awhile, but I'm glad it's done. I'm happy and don't want any more kids. In another year or so when the baby is a bit older, I will have a bit more freedom. I will really appreciate it then.
05/11/2010
Contributor: Felinity Felinity
After my second daughter (and finding out I could have done it after the first), I had a tubal done, tied and burned. Now, I'm kind of regretting it. I love the freedom from dealing with birth control but lately I've been seriously wishing I could give my beau a babe of his own, especially when he mentions wanting kids.
05/30/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
My husband has had a vasectomy after we had our third child. He was 27 at the time so the doctor did ask him if he was sure but once he knew we had three kids close in age he understood and we didn't have to go through any further red tape. Every now and again I wish we hadn't and I have the urge to have more kids..but our youngest is now 4.5 years old and it's nice to have a bit more freedom and to be able to do more fun things with the kids so in the end I'm glad we had it done because it has made things simpler with not having to worry about birth control.
05/30/2010
Contributor: Splendwhore Splendwhore
My system is still in fully functioning, working order. I'm barely into my 20's, and still too unsure of what I want in life. Add in the fact that my first, and only, love is Transgendered.. well, we don't really have to worry about "accidentally" reproducing. If I want a child, it will have to be a very well thought out process that I invest much time and money into. No mistakes, no looking back.
05/30/2010
Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
My body has already decided I'm not going to get pregnant, or at least have a hard time trying. So, no doctors needed. God and Mother Nature naturally fixed me.
05/30/2010
Contributor: TacoODoom TacoODoom
i'm waiting till after our first(which has yet to be conceived) before we both get the snip, we're freezing a few eggs and some wigglers after incase we change our minds and want a second.
05/30/2010
Contributor: BoomersGirl BoomersGirl
My hubby had a vasectomy and it is wonderful not to have to worry about it. I assume I'm still quite fertile, though. But I have 4 kids (3 boys and 1 girl) from my first marriage and hubby and I have 2 together (both boys), so 6 is plenty. Financially, anyway. I might have been tempted to try "one more time" if we could have afforded it. I still get that "baby lust" now and again, but I guess I can wait til I have grandchildren - which better be several years down the road since my oldest is just 15.
06/07/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I wanted to have my tubes tied after #2, hubby said "no" he'd get a Vasectomy. So then I get pregnant with #3. However I suffer heavy periods, so I have been trying to find a birth control that will control that. Seasonique/Jolessa didn't work and the patch made me feel like I had the flu. So my GYN recommended Implanon, the arm implant. Well I just had a period 2 weeks ago when they put it in and I'm now having another one. Ugh! I hope it works. I just don't know how long it will take.
06/08/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by TacoODoom
i'm waiting till after our first(which has yet to be conceived) before we both get the snip, we're freezing a few eggs and some wigglers after incase we change our minds and want a second.
Smart thinking, and do I ever love your way with words
06/08/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
And by permanent I mean tubal ligations (and hysterectomies, for that matter) and vasectomies.

Are you "fixed"? I am, and by choice, which I know surprises a lot of people, considering that I'm only 25. But my husband and I had ... more
Yeah, my husband and I just had a baby, and he's getting ready to have his vasectomy. He's terrified, and I need some help with it, because...I had a really hard time and we don't want to do it again, and I'd get sterilized, but it's really hard and I have to work, and I can't rest. So we thought we'd even it out if he did it. He's really scared, and I don't know what to do.
08/15/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
My body has already decided I'm not going to get pregnant, or at least have a hard time trying. So, no doctors needed. God and Mother Nature naturally fixed me.
Don't you ever...wonder? Have you ever had kids?
08/15/2010