The New Intimacy

Could use some advice. Will I loosen up?

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Contributor: missymery missymery
At the moment, I'm very happy with the tightness of my vagina, and would rather it not change too much.

I'm not sexually active, at the moment, but I do use toys every now and then. I recently purchased a toy that was bigger than any toy/guy I've had in the past, and it took a bit getting used to.

If I use it every once in awhile (1-2 times a week tops) will it loosen me up too much?

Thanks so much.
04/23/2011
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Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
It will not "loosen [you] up," but it will probably help you learn to relax enough, so that it might seem that way to you.

Vagina's bounce back pretty quickly. I have given birth, we use all sorts of toys during sex, and I enjoy my husband fisting me occasionally. He swears after an few hours, I am just as tight as I was before.
04/23/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
What do you mean by "loosen"? What happens when you insert something that is too big?

I have pain using toys bigger than about an inch in diameter. I just visited a doctor, and she said it's not that I'm too "tight" but because I have issues with the fascia on the anterior of my vagina.

Are there specific symptoms that you have or will some objects simply not go in?
04/23/2011
Contributor: missymery missymery
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
What do you mean by "loosen"? What happens when you insert something that is too big?



I have pain using toys bigger than about an inch in diameter. I just visited a doctor, and she said it's not that I'm too ... more
Oh no, all the objects will go in just fine! Sometimes it's a bit painful, but only until I get adjusted to said item.
04/23/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
Quote:
Originally posted by missymery
Oh no, all the objects will go in just fine! Sometimes it's a bit painful, but only until I get adjusted to said item.
The doctor I saw told me to remember that the vagina is a muscle, and the connective tissue surrounding it apparently behaves like muscle, so it needs to be "warmed up," massaged, and stretched. I'm sure you've heard advice about prolonging foreplay, using various lubes, or having your partner perform oral sex on you prior to penetration to help you get warmed up.

You could also try looking at vaginal exercisers. At first I was under the impression that vaginal exercisers were just for women who wanted to tighten up (after childbirth or just because they felt too loose down there) but when you think about it, muscle fitness isn't necessarily about tightness. When you exercise a skeletal muscle (like the gastrocnemius in your calf) you aren't just trying to make it stronger (tighter), you will stretch it to make it more flexible. I know that skeletal muscle is different from the smooth muscle that makes up the vaginal wall, but I found this perspective helpful.

Anyway, I thought I'd share my experience. I don't feel qualified to directly give advice in this matter, but I do hope that some of the stuff I shared is useful to you!
04/23/2011
Contributor: Freckles Freckles
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
The doctor I saw told me to remember that the vagina is a muscle, and the connective tissue surrounding it apparently behaves like muscle, so it needs to be "warmed up," massaged, and stretched. I'm sure you've heard advice about ... more
Great advice/comment. I never really thought about it this way. Thanks!
04/25/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
The vagina is made to stretch to allow for childbirth. It's also meant to have pleasure derived from it. The muscles stretch and go back.

You need to warm up, you can't just jam something up in your vag that's more than you've ever taken before and sing the national anthem of orgasmland. However, if you start with something that's comfortable for you and gradually increase, your body will learn to derive pleasure from it. You could also try a dilator kit, if you find that you're still having problems. Also, make sure you're very relaxed.
04/25/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by missymery
At the moment, I'm very happy with the tightness of my vagina, and would rather it not change too much.



I'm not sexually active, at the moment, but I do use toys every now and then. I recently purchased a toy that was bigger ... more
It bounces back, promise. I do kegels and have 4 kids and its still tight enough to keep him coming back for more
04/25/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
It is possible to be built very small. My OB/GYN said that very petite women with extremely narrow hips can actually be too small for certain things. I have pretty much no hips at all and am petite so my bones down there are very close together and that stops a lot of fat toys from making it anywhere with me. It also can cause much more pain if you have intercourse without some good foreplay. I wouldn't be able to have a natural birth because of that along with others.

It will not stretch out, but you should still stick with toys that aren't so big that they cause you pain.
04/26/2011