Do you think it's normal to feel sad...

Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
about losing a pregnancy in its very early stage? I posted a poll you may have seen, but basically I got pregnant even though I had an IUD put in. So I was prepared to lose the pregnancy to begin with, and my doctor said that I will lose it as soon as he removes the IUD. I just feel very brokenhearted about this. Is it normal to feel this way? Should I feel bad? I feel like it's my fault.
11/30/2011
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Contributor: (k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
Of course it's normal to feel sad about something like that. As soon as a woman is aware that there's a being forming inside of her, she usually begins forming a bond, whether she's conscious of it or not. It's completely normal to feel sadness over a loss like that, even if others may not understand it.
11/30/2011
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
Yes, of course. The day I found out I was pregnant I got paranoid about having a miscarriage. I cried almost every day about it. I was so worried something would happen to my baby. Nothing did, but if it would have it would have torn me apart. I loved my son from the second I knew he was inside of me.

Now, I'm also overly emotional in general. I'm also very paranoid, thus obsessing over miscarriage while pregnant. If I was in your situation, I would still be very sad. Even if it wasn't an intended pregnancy, it is a pregnancy and it is a loss. It's sad to lose something, even if you only had it a short while.

And no, you shouldn't feel bad. It's not your fault. You were doing the right thing to prevent a pregnancy. The birth control just failed, which happens. The sucky thing about an IUD failing is that when they remove it, it causes a miscarriage. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not like you were having unprotected sex and then doing lots of illegal drugs which them led to a miscarriage. Yours is more like bad luck.

I'm really sorry for your situation. I hope you get through okay. I would be a wreck if I were in your shoes, I just know it. I can't imagine how hard that must be.
11/30/2011
Contributor: ToyGurl ToyGurl
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
Yes, of course. The day I found out I was pregnant I got paranoid about having a miscarriage. I cried almost every day about it. I was so worried something would happen to my baby. Nothing did, but if it would have it would have torn me apart. I ... more
It is very hard. I just feel like it was my fault. I knew there was a risk and I should have gotten it taken out earlier. But I got the IUD to prevent myself from carrying a sick child. I have Epilepsy along with several other conditions in which are causing me to be on medications for a while. Once I am off them I had planned to have this thing taken out so my hubby and I could have our child.

It's all so confusing. One minute I'm okay, and then the next I just feel awful.
12/01/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
I think it's normal to feel upset about that. It's such a personal thing and pregnancy is super loaded emotionally. Hope you are feeling better soon
12/01/2011
Contributor: Tessa Taboo Tessa Taboo
I've been there... several times actually. And it doesn't matter if you lose the pregnancy 2 days after you find out you are pregnant, and it doesn't matter if you were trying to get pregnant or not. It's a little person in there that lost a life, and it's okay to be sad about it. You really just need someone you can talk to about it, and you don't need to hold your feelings in. You didn't do anything wrong... don't EVER think that. It is not your fault. I know it's cliche, but everything happens for a reason.

Also, the impression that I got from your post is that you haven't gotten the IUD taken out yet, and the doc said that you will lose it once you get it taken out? I'm not sure why they said that, because I know several people who have gotten pregnant with an IUD in and carried a pregnancy to full term, and delivered a healthy baby. I would err on the side of caution if the doc wants you to do anything to intentionally terminate the pregnancy, and doesn't give you some sort of indefinite proof that there is a need to.

Keep me posted. This is a subject very near and dear to my heart. If you ever need to talk, I'm just a message away
12/01/2011
Contributor: pixxie87 pixxie87
always remember that God works in mysterious ways.
12/01/2011
Contributor: PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
Quote:
Originally posted by pixxie87
always remember that God works in mysterious ways.
I totally agree. You shouldn't feel bad. It is not your fault. I believe the circumstances were simply meant to be.
12/01/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
It's absolutely healthy and normal to feel that way. I am sorry for your loss.
12/02/2011