Fat Gurrrls

Fat Gurrrls

JoonieMoon JoonieMoon
I'm putting this under women's health because I feel like this really, really has an effect on my mental health.

I'm a fat girl. I don't have a problem with it.

But do guys?
Are there really men out there who like us fat girls?

This seriously hurts my self-esteem (okay, so maybe I do have an issue with my size) and I really want to know: do guys think of us fat girls as regular girls, or are we in our own world?

This isn't meant to offend anyone. I just really want to know.
01/28/2010
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Heather Heather
It really doesn't make a difference if you don't like yourself or the way you look. I know for me the better I feel about myself and the way I look the more sexy I am to my husband.
01/28/2010
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I just thought I'd toss this out there. I am not thin by any means and I am really not attracted to my own body type but.. my husband? Loves it. I mean, he's like in love with my body and it makes me feel amazing.
01/28/2010
Sir Sir
I've never thought of anyone as any better or worse because of their body type, so no, I'm not exactly attracted to more "meaty" (that's just a term I use, I use it even on my little girl because she's got nice thick thighs) women, but I also am not attracted to thinner people. I have no preference, really. I am attracted to people based on personality and who they are inside. I am sure though that there are people who prefer women who are larger, though.
01/28/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
DEFINITELY. I think there are lots of people (myself included, although I'm a woman not a man) that appreciate fat women and men. I have a lot of appreciation for a lot of different body types and I'm definitely not the only one.

I guess the thing that's important to distinguish between is someone that finds your body type beautiful/sexy/etc. and someone that fetishizes your body type, you know? Personally I kind of feel squicked out by "chubby chasers" or people that fetishize fat bodies. Equally, as someone that is very petite, I feel squicked out by people that fetishize skinny bodies. I think "chasing" any kind of body (a fat body, a trans body, etc.) can be a little problematic because the body becomes an object -there is no connection between the person on the inside and the body itself. It's just a body.

Anyway, that's my little spiel. But the short answer is there are tons of people out there that probably appreciate your body daily when you're out and about and you don't even realize it! Sometimes low self-esteem causes us to be blind to people that appreciate us because we can't believe that anyone would.
01/28/2010
Lara Lara
Quote:
Originally posted by JoonieMoon
I'm putting this under women's health because I feel like this really, really has an effect on my mental health.

I'm a fat girl. I don't have a problem with it.

But do guys?
Are there really men out there who like us ...
Dating and sex as a fat girl is way, way, way different than dating and sex as a normal sized girl.

This isn't to detract from all the size supporters out there, but there's huge amount of research done on the differences between what we say and how we act. Weight is one of those issues that draw a certain set of responses that don't match up with actual behavior (e.g., I think fat girls can be as attractive as skinny girls... but I wouldn't want to date one.).
01/28/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
I find that 99% of the guys who think I'm too fat usually have the personality of Miracle Whip and the spiritual depth of a birdbath - they're not worth it. (The 1% has issues too squiffy for me to deal with.) They're focused too much on appearances and what everyone else thinks. And they're usually in it for themselves.

Those that don't care are usually amazing in either a creative or intellectual way, and are able to adore/worship/love others as a WHOLE person instead of just as a body type. You're not just making love to the body, it's also their mind and soul ... who needs one night stands and coyote dates if you can engage them physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually?

Anyway, I'm probably not making the right point, but my experience says that there are as many preferences as there are flavors, so don't sweat it - the one you find will make up for it in quality.
01/28/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara
Dating and sex as a fat girl is way, way, way different than dating and sex as a normal sized girl.

This isn't to detract from all the size supporters out there, but there's huge amount of research done on the differences between what ...
I dated a fat girl and of all the girls I dated I was probably the most physically attracted to her. I don't think it's fair to say people don't put their money where their mouth is when it comes to fat* people. This is definitely true for some, but I don't think it's helpful to anyone to ignore the massive amounts of people that genuinely love fat bodies as much as any other kind of body.



*I hope no one takes offense to me saying 'fat' but I deliberately use this word because I think it has too much power as an insult. It doesn't have to be an insult. One of my chubby friends says in response to "fat" as a pejorative "I know, isn't it great?" or "Don't worry, I still think you're pretty even if you AREN'T fat."
01/28/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara
Dating and sex as a fat girl is way, way, way different than dating and sex as a normal sized girl.

This isn't to detract from all the size supporters out there, but there's huge amount of research done on the differences between what ...
Also, I respectfully have to take issue with the phrase "normal sized". Bodies are a pretty varied thing and if there's a normal size out there I have no idea what it is, lol.
01/28/2010
Barbarossa Barbarossa
It is funny that this question comes up just after I returned from my local grocery store where I ran into this young woman who was both on the curvier and heavier side and also completely smokin'. Why did I have this impression? She had beautiful hair, a great smile, a singsong voice, a great walk, and an awesome full, curvy figure. Wow, she made my day.

What really attracts me to women is their intelligence, confidence, friendliness, humour, and sense of style. Physical attraction and preference are of course important, but I think there is usually a wide spectrum that guys find attractive as long as all the other elements are in place (I tend to think women have the same perspective from what I can judge). As evidence I would say that my friends girlfriends are all over the map in terms of body type and my friends are all really devoted to them. Men are entranced by the female body and while there are definite charms to the thin female frame, there are also attractions to a fuller, curvier female figure.

Just make sure to keep up your confidence and develop your potential (for yourself before anyone else!) and I think you will find a guy who will love you and your body.
01/28/2010
Lara Lara
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
Also, I respectfully have to take issue with the phrase "normal sized". Bodies are a pretty varied thing and if there's a normal size out there I have no idea what it is, lol.
I haven't found that miracle man out there who is able to look beyond a woman's body for the beautiful soul within. It's a lovely fairy tale and a great thing for society to strive for, but I just don't see it. And I'm also not saying that the men who reject fat women are monsters. By and large the men that I've dated who have rejected me for my weight are intelligent, charming, funny, etc... They're perfectly normal. They just have different preferences. If anything, I've found that many of the men that I've met who date larger women do so because they tend to prey upon the insecurities and neediness that many larger women feel.

And SLP-L, please don't ride my ass on every single sentence here. I'm speaking from personal experience and not about the world at large. Your mileage may vary.
01/28/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara
I haven't found that miracle man out there who is able to look beyond a woman's body for the beautiful soul within. It's a lovely fairy tale and a great thing for society to strive for, but I just don't see it. And I'm also not ...
I am sorry if I made you feel attacked. Your personal experience is valuable and I didn't mean to invalidate it, I was just trying to point out that there really is no such thing as a normal body. They all look different. I do not believe that one is inherently healthier or sexier or anything; it's different from culture to culture, person to person.

Also, I'm going to say something that might offend some people but I feel the need to say it: as far as "intelligent" men go, if they are rejecting solely because of your weight they're ignorant. I really, firmly believe this and I will not apologize for it. I understand that people all have their "preferences" but a lot of times these "preferences" are based in prejudice and ignorance. For example, there are people that will say they aren't attracted to dark skinned black girls because they just "prefer" lighter skinned girls black girls. This is their preference, yes, but it's also rooted in a deep cultural disdain for and lack of devaluing of dark-skinned women. Just the same, a man may "prefer" a thin woman, but that's also rooted in a deep cultural disdain of and devaluing of fat women.

You have a really good point though about some men preying on the insecurities of fat women. Unfortunately these men do exist, and they'll prey on any woman -fat or not- if they have low self-esteem. I've seen a good number of awesome women in awful, abusive relationships because they thought that no one else would ever appreciate their body.

Anyway, Lara, I hope I didn't offend you too much. There really are men out there that aren't assholes, I know this for a fact because I know a lot of good, good men. There are men in this world that are deserving of you, just keep that faith, girl.
01/28/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I am sorry if I made you feel attacked. Your personal experience is valuable and I didn't mean to invalidate it, I was just trying to point out that there really is no such thing as a normal body. They all look different. I do not believe that ...
*lighter skinned black girls

Please excuse the typo.
01/28/2010
Sammi Sammi
I think it can have a lot to do with your attitude and the way you carry yourself. If you're confident about yourself, others will see you as confident, and I think they will be attracted to you no matter what size you are.
01/28/2010
xsapphirexangelx xsapphirexangelx
i know my bf prefers thinner girls (im not particularly)but he did say somthing about if i got really heavey he wouldn't be as physicaly attracted to me, but would still love me. people cant help what their attracted to, but personal preference can often be looked over when confronted with somone whos right for you, who may have attributes you dislike. some people can even change your preferences. i know i was dead set against some of my bf's atribures, but im enormously attracted to him.

Also my bf told me something cute about his parents. his mothers one of those women who trys to loose weigh and is always on some useless diet, but his dad likes her size and will purposely bring home her favorite sweet treats (that he doesnt like) to counteract her attemps at weight loss.

althought i am also more inclined to thin girls but ive definitely met some amazing "fat" bgirls that i would definatly be interested in.
i just think this is adorable and hilarious.
01/28/2010
JoonieMoon JoonieMoon
Thank you all! This is so interesting.

I really appreciate every response. I was figuring this would be overlooked.

What was awesome is I posted this and then went to my Women's Studies class and brought up size-ism (to be honest, I have no clue if size-ism is one word or what) and got to really rest some of my swinging emotions about my weight.

This has been awesome! Thank you alllll!
01/28/2010
Kynky Kytty Kynky Kytty
Quote:
Originally posted by Sammi
I think it can have a lot to do with your attitude and the way you carry yourself. If you're confident about yourself, others will see you as confident, and I think they will be attracted to you no matter what size you are.
So true about loving one's self and be confident. That's the true essence of beauty.

But it is also true that what men like women of all shapes and sizes. Don't worry about it. I was once with a man who really like larger women, but I was not as large as he would have liked. That's life, and you will eventually find one.
01/28/2010
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I do not mind a big girl, I see a lot of this to big guys, because I am on the larger side (though I am active and becoming more fit every day)

I see girls who wouldn't give me the time of the day if I asked for it. I think there is a lot of this going on with both sides.

I do not know, but I see it leading to social anxiety, and other issue.

I for one get tongue tied in front of...well just about any girl I find attractive... and there is not much limiting criteria.

I do not mind a skinny girl, I do not mind a big girl, as long as you are nice and kind (that is my thing I suppose )
01/29/2010
Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Oh and I forgot, I always found the word fat to be offensive.

Now your not using it in an offensive way, but since you said you are heavy I was wondering if you ever found this to be offensive?

I am a little large myself, that is why i ask, its nice to know where other people stand on this.
01/29/2010
Lara Lara
I'm thrilled that there are all these fabulous women out there basking in their voluptuous glory, but all of these different experiences have me thinking. I'm wondering how much of how people respond to weight has to do with social environment - living in a fat state versus a thin state (Mississippi versus Colorado); class (lower class = larger butts); workplace (some professions strike me as being much more body conscious than others); etc.
01/29/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara
I'm thrilled that there are all these fabulous women out there basking in their voluptuous glory, but all of these different experiences have me thinking. I'm wondering how much of how people respond to weight has to do with social ...
I know for certain that when I lived in Montana I was treated much differently than in Florida. I was considered pretty normal up there (you need the padding to survive the cold) and guys flirted with me a lot more; male employees went out of their way to help me.

In Florida, I have been shouted at and given dirty looks about my weight at least every other month. I was once LAUGHED out of a 5-7-9 even though I wasn't in there for shopping (I was with my extra-petite mother). I have had salespeople ignore me completely if I go in with a 'size-appropriate' friend (which was funny was hell once when we went in for ME and she was along for the ride, but they kept trying to serve her).

Any service that deals in beauty (clothing, hair, spa, etc) is going to have size issues. One of my friends was one of the most brilliant hair designers of the 90's, winning regional contests and teaching her techniques in cosmetology schools; her resume was well-received and jumped upon, but once the salon manager met her, they booted her out the door because she was a very large woman and they didn't want that as part of their image. Very cutthroat business, beauty is.
01/29/2010
JoonieMoon JoonieMoon
Quote:
Originally posted by Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
Oh and I forgot, I always found the word fat to be offensive.

Now your not using it in an offensive way, but since you said you are heavy I was wondering if you ever found this to be offensive?

I am a little large myself, that is why ...
I'm okay with the word fat. But it's like a lot of other words: it's mostly okay when I say it.
01/29/2010
SexyTigerX SexyTigerX
Quote:
Originally posted by Barbarossa
It is funny that this question comes up just after I returned from my local grocery store where I ran into this young woman who was both on the curvier and heavier side and also completely smokin'. Why did I have this impression? She had ...
JoonieMoon,

Love what Barbarossa has to say!

This is my story and my advice to you. I recently lost 44lbs since Sep. So yeah, I was pretty big! On my 47 b-day I realized that I needed to start making myself happy and not take responsibility for everyone elses happiness in my life. With that in mind I have totally turned my life around. The weight loss was something that just fell in place with the way I started to view myself.

I think the most important thing is that I truly believed in myself. I became more confident with my body. I just took responsibility for me. It's all up to me to insure my own happiness. And when you're happy with yourself you project confidence, a woman that love herself and everyone else will take notice. You have to BELIEVE that you are the most special person in your life. Only you can take control. Men will start to take notice. Everyone here has some advice. It all starts with you. so, BELIEVE!!!

Hope this helped a little. I tend to ramble on.
01/29/2010
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara
I'm thrilled that there are all these fabulous women out there basking in their voluptuous glory, but all of these different experiences have me thinking. I'm wondering how much of how people respond to weight has to do with social ...
Different regions of the world totally have different standards. I am 5"8 and 135 pounds and when I go into a lot of stores in Manhattan I get ignored or given weird looks. Not kidding. I think you have to be LITERALLY post-mortem to be served in "fashionable" clothing stores in Manhattan.
01/29/2010
Active Release Active Release
Quote:
Originally posted by JoonieMoon
I'm putting this under women's health because I feel like this really, really has an effect on my mental health.

I'm a fat girl. I don't have a problem with it.

But do guys?
Are there really men out there who like us ...
Fat girls can most of the time be sexier than skinny girls.

I married a fat girl and I love her dearly. I find the body type as attractive as others.

Sexy is not really an appearance as much as an attitude.

I have never looked at a fat girl as any different than any other girl.
01/29/2010
deceased deceased
There are so many BBW dating sites. In Hawaii, fat is PHAT. Most of the Fillipino womenin Hawaii(unlike those in the Phillipines) , almost all the Micronesian women, and all the Chuukese, Samoan and Tahitian and Hawaiian women are fat. Hawaiians and Samoans top the list, I never see any of the younger ones under 200 pounds. I only see white people and Japanese people running. Diabetes and renal failure are the norm here. When I go to Walmart to look at scrub uniforms, they start at size large and go up to 6 XL. Even though its not considered a fat state, certain ethnic groups value fat. African Americans are more into size acceptance. America on the mainland is fat too. (Now I understand why all the supermodels are imported from Russia and Europe.)
01/29/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Lara
I haven't found that miracle man out there who is able to look beyond a woman's body for the beautiful soul within. It's a lovely fairy tale and a great thing for society to strive for, but I just don't see it. And I'm also not ...
Sometimes the real problem is when we find a guy who genuinely prefers a larger woman we simply won't believe he has anything but the desire to use our insecurities to get us in bed. Or we believe we are a 'charity fuck'. It's sad but that was myexperience...my husband who was the first serious relationship I ever had told me off the bat he prefered a woman with curves and a full figure, I thought he was calling me fat.

Recently I learned from listening to my guys that they BOTH prefer a woman that they won't be afraid that they will break! Now neither of them are brutal during sex, but a tiny birdy woman is not appealing to either of them. Still the only 'charity fuck' Sigel ever gave was to a woman who would have been considered "perfect" by most people. She was slender, feminine, quiet and from what he said completely boring and bland in bed. He has found this to be true of most women who know they are beautiful...far from being sex kittens they are just normal, while the larger women he likes are firecrackers.

Took me a long while and some quiet observation to realize that while he might appreciate a woman who is in top physical condition he genuinely gets all hot and bothered by a woman who looks like me, ie: a mother with a Junoesque figure! Arch has reams of porn depicting women who have my type of figure as well so I dunno if it's about seeing the beautiful soul within or just being very attracted to a fuller figured woman.
01/31/2010
Lara Lara
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Sometimes the real problem is when we find a guy who genuinely prefers a larger woman we simply won't believe he has anything but the desire to use our insecurities to get us in bed. Or we believe we are a 'charity fuck'. It's sad but ...
I think you're right to underscore the whole idea of we're attracted to what we're attracted to (rather than all that beautiful soul within business... hyperbole and I are like two peas in a pod). And at the end of the day isn't that what all sexuality is about? You dig the kinds of things you dig and that's all there is to it.
02/01/2010
ShercockHolmes ShercockHolmes
honestly i think you shouldn't care what others/partners think about your body. At least, not now. The first person who needs to care about your body is you. Now, if you were talking about lingerie or a different sex position or a hair-do ...yes it can be beneficial to care what your partner thinks. But this isn't just a 'thing' or toy. this is your body. the only one who should be caring about your body really is you! now, i'm not saying that a partner or spouse shouldn't care about you and your well-being, but honestly the first person who really needs to care is you because YOU are the one living in YOUR body. instead of asking what others think, ask yourself how you feel about your body. are you comfortable with your body? do you feel good and healthy? When you look in the mirror do like looking at your beautiful curves and working the jeans with a full booty? do you enjoy having a nice full chest and voluptuous figure? or are you feeling tired run down and overweight? does your weight go to a point of making it harder for you to become sexually stimulated? are you obese to the point that it is unhealthy and life threatening? if this is so, you might need to make a change in your life either physically or mentally. if you feel good and comfortable, then don't change! if you feel that you aren't happy with your body then maybe you should try to lose weight or maybe you just need to have therapy for self-esteem. either way, you should do it for *yourself* and nobody else. If you love yourself and the way you look, then there is definitely someone else out there who is going to think the same! Find what it comfortable for you and find out what makes *you* feel sexy. a good partner is going to be attracted to someone who exhibits confidence and comfort being in their own skin.
02/01/2010
ShercockHolmes ShercockHolmes
Quote:
Originally posted by ShercockHolmes
honestly i think you shouldn't care what others/partners think about your body. At least, not now. The first person who needs to care about your body is you. Now, if you were talking about lingerie or a different sex position or a hair-do ...yes ...
btw. this comes from someone who was once very thin, and then became overweight because of medication. i gained 50 pounds when i was in high school within less than a year. i finally knew what it was like to be called 'fat.' I then decided to lose weight because i felt horrible. it wasn't for anyone else. i also decided to not take the medication anymore because of the side effects. and to those out there who have doctors who pressure you to stay on something even if it is making you feel miserable-listen, you have the right to make up your mind on what is or isn't good for your well-being. medication shouldn't make you overweight, that is not an acceptable side effect. that's my 2 cents. I started working out and lost weight. And honestly, working out doesn't just improve on weight, it is also good for your heart which is *very* important. it will be even more important for you later in life. Thinner people can look healthy, but some actually have poor health weak hearts. i've gone from thin to pudgy, to thin, to fat, to thin, to average, to muscular, to weak.....nothing made any different in the long run if i was in a bad mood or felt low in self-esteem. if it was for looks, the relationship would last about as long as a full tank of gas put into an SUV.
02/01/2010
Total posts: 62
Unique posters: 47