How is this possible?

Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
I was talking to my great friend. I had not talk to her in FOREVER, so I was so excited when she called. We talked for hours and hours. I don't know how the convo lead to sex, but it did. We were talking about sex toys, and she told me she had NEVER had an orgasm. How is that possible? I mean I could understand not having one during sex, but not even alone? I asked her even when masturbating? she said yeah! She would masturbate for more than a half hour with NO luck. So, I'm curious? How is this possible? Is it something she sould be worried about? she asked me if she sould get checked out. I told her I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I'd ask around.

I don't think I've ever had a time when I didn't orgasm. I mean it did happen ONCE and that was because of the antidepressants I was on (No she isn't on any).
09/11/2011
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Contributor: FaerieLove FaerieLove
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Anonymous
I was talking to my great friend. I had not talk to her in FOREVER, so I was so excited when she called. We talked for hours and hours. I don't know how the convo lead to sex, but it did. We were talking about sex toys, and she told me she had ... more
Some women never orgasm. I've heard it's possible to go your whole life and never experience it. One theory is that the earlier on a woman started masturbating the better ability and control she has over her orgasms. Maybe your friend started masturbating very late in life?
09/11/2011
Contributor: VampKitty VampKitty
It might just be that she doesn't know what she needs in order to orgasm. Everyone is different. My mom didn't have her first orgasm until late in life. It's just a matter of her finding what she needs in order to orgasm. She should try getting a toy or two and experimenting.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by FaerieLove
Some women never orgasm. I've heard it's possible to go your whole life and never experience it. One theory is that the earlier on a woman started masturbating the better ability and control she has over her orgasms. Maybe your friend started ... more
Wow, that is surprising. I guess if you've never had one you don't know what you are missing. I couldn't think of all of a sudden never being able to orgasm. See, I think that may be the problem. She was raised in a strict christian family. Everything sexual was bad, so I wouldn't be surprised if she started late.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by VampKitty
It might just be that she doesn't know what she needs in order to orgasm. Everyone is different. My mom didn't have her first orgasm until late in life. It's just a matter of her finding what she needs in order to orgasm. She should try ... more
That could be the reason too. I did tell her that she may not have found what she needs. She tells me she's tried so many things. I hope she does find what makes her orgasm sooner rather then later.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
I was never able to orgasm before I met my current boyfriend, and still can't outside of having intercourse with him; I think that it really depends on the person!
09/11/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I was never able to orgasm before I met my current boyfriend, and still can't outside of having intercourse with him; I think that it really depends on the person!
I'm glad you were able to find a way to orgasm.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I don't know this feeling personally but a friend of mine was 27 before she experienced her first orgasm! She used all kinds of toys, she couldn't have them during sex, she couldn't even orgasm when someone ELSE used them on HER, until she started seeing a physician for it, she never really discussed those details but after years and years of seeing a Dr. and actually therapy because she was worried something was wrong with her and needed a professional to talk to, she managed to have her first, and hasn't had trouble since.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
My mom once told me that she didn't have her first orgasm until sometime after she'd been married to my dad (sometime during her mid 20's, I think). Having been 'gasming since I was twelve, I found this to be quite shocking. I never asked her how she finally achieved it, though.

Everybody has different requirements, I suppose. I've also heard that some people just need to keep at it for a really, really long time.
09/11/2011
Contributor: iLashe iLashe
I had a hard time coming for years, then learned some positions -69 and cowgirl- that helped when with a partner and LOTS of foreplay from a loving partner, and then by being VERY patient with myself and through the use of toys. I was raised in a conservative family/school as well. That didn't stunt my sexual interest, i just had to inform myself of sexual health and what works for me in an open and accepting way. 'Orgasms' by Lou Paget was a very insightful read as well. Good luck to her
09/11/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I don't know this feeling personally but a friend of mine was 27 before she experienced her first orgasm! She used all kinds of toys, she couldn't have them during sex, she couldn't even orgasm when someone ELSE used them on HER, until ... more
I'm seeing a sexual physical therapist for my vaginismus. I had no idea you could see one for orgasm troubles. I might bring that up to her in a casual way. hahaha I'm glad your friend finally was able and now is not having problems. I couldn't begin to understand how annying not being able to orgasm could be.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
My mom once told me that she didn't have her first orgasm until sometime after she'd been married to my dad (sometime during her mid 20's, I think). Having been 'gasming since I was twelve, I found this to be quite shocking. I never ... more
I was about the same age when I started having orgasms. I'm glad i'm not the only one who felt a little schocked when first hearing something like this. I was surprised when she told me. I keep telling her to keep trying, but she doesn't want too. She's becoming annyed. I thought she was on medication, and that could be causing the problems. She isn't on anything.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by iLashe
I had a hard time coming for years, then learned some positions -69 and cowgirl- that helped when with a partner and LOTS of foreplay from a loving partner, and then by being VERY patient with myself and through the use of toys. I was raised in a ... more
I'll tell her about that book.
09/11/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by Miss Anonymous
I'm seeing a sexual physical therapist for my vaginismus. I had no idea you could see one for orgasm troubles. I might bring that up to her in a casual way. hahaha I'm glad your friend finally was able and now is not having problems. I ... more
In the area where I live, I used to work at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute, and although I never actually got to learn much about what they did to help women with this issue it's apparently VERY common! I'm not sure what all is involved but I know they had to do some type of stimulation and such.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
In the area where I live, I used to work at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute, and although I never actually got to learn much about what they did to help women with this issue it's apparently VERY common! I'm not sure what all is ... more
Yeah, I don't know about that. I don't know if I'd feel okay with a doctor stimulating my clit. I wouldn't be able to relax, so I wouldn't be able to have an orgasm. I'm surprised it is so common.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
This is probably not the case, but maybe she HAS had one, but thinks it should be like something else.. like squirting or something?
09/12/2011