Hi all,

Some of you read my post about how I discovered I was pregnant. At first I was scared and wasn't even sure I would continue the pregnancy, but as time went on I started to get excited and looking forward to the baby. Well, I started bleeding this past Wednesday and by Thursday I lost the pregnancy. I would have been about 6-7 weeks, I'm not sure exactly because I hadn't had an ultrasound yet. The hardest part was feeling like I "caused" the miscarriage. Like somehow the baby "knew" I was uncertain, at first, about him/her. I've heard so many times that it was likely a chromosomal abnormality, nothing I could do, etc. but I'm convinced that it is my fault. I'm so angry at myself, at the world, at God. Everyone says I should take the time to grieve, but I don't want to. How do I move on from something that was a precious gift, my one possible joy in a bleak world? I wish I could just pretend this never happened, by getting pregnant right away. But my husband refuses to. He's an immigrant and wants to get his papers before we start trying. I don't see how that is possible because I didn't make enough money to file for him and my parents refuse to file an affidavit of support-saying they supported me before I started working. I feel hopeless now. At a complete standstill in life. At least I have a job, but what I want to be doing is finishing up school. We both do. I'm a resident of another state and there are no programs for what my husband and I want to do in our current city, so it makes sense for us to relocate. But we can't. I can't make up for the pregnancy I lost because it IS risking it to have a child with him-he could be deported. It's not likely, but it's possible. My parents are completely unsupportive so they would not be a help to me at all. I guess it looks like I'll be stuck where I am, my husband and I working with my parents who are against us, not able to move forward in life and I just lost the one thing that would make me happy. Great. less

Most women don't realize that most miscarriages happen even before they're aware that they're pregnant. It happens when there's an issue with the implantation of the embryo and the pregnancy ends because it isn't viable and most women just think that they're having a rather difficult period. At 6-7 weeks you've only been actually pregnant for about 2 or three weeks, so there hadn't been enough time for much development at all. Miscarriages happen naturally. It's not something you can think yourself into, you know?

Personally, I somewhat share your pain and experience even though mine is a bit different. I found out I was pregnant at about 7 weeks right after I left an incredibly abusive relationship. I did what I had to because I didn't want there to be anymore suffering. It was a guilt I carried around with for years because it wasn't my choice and if it were any lighter of a situation I would have continued with everything. I know the sense of loss that there. Neither one of us, regardless of our circumstances really had a choice in the matter and it makes you feel powerless. You have to find hope, though. Find courage. None of this was your fault at all, so you should let go of all the guilt. Everything will be fine. less

i'm sending you a hug right now.

this sounds really tough to go through. i hear that you're feeling a sense of loss and a standstill. that must be really difficult.

all your eden friends are here for you, myself included, if you need to vent. thank you for sharing with us. we'll be here for you when you need us. things can only get better from here.

remember, if it's not okay, it's not over yet. less

I can't imagine how you feel and I worry about that happening to me too. But like Miss Debauchery said, it happens more than we think/know but it doesn't make it any easier to get over.
I think grieving is normal and needed for most people in order to maintain mental health. Children are born to women(or parents, or the father) all the time that aren't wanted so your uncertainty has NOTHING to do with what happened and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.
You just need to allow yourself to heal (body and mind) and try again someday. I have a friend that miscarried once later in her pregnancy but they tried again and she now has to beautiful children.
All you can do is what you doctor tells you to prepare for another when you try again. less

I know exactly what you are feeling about losing your baby. I got pregnant and knew about right away. I was fresh out of high school and didn't even have health insurance, so I had to wait for the state to give me insurance before I could go to the Dr. The day before my card got there, I started bleeding and it resulted in my body miscarrying. I blamed myself, my partner, and felt responsible for awhile. That was in 2007 and I still find it hard to talk about. However, now I have two healthy children. I ended up pregnant two periods later. If I would not have miscarried that baby, I would not have my toddler now. I am okay with that, but I still think about my baby every now and then.

It is not anyone's fault. Take your time to grieve, but don't blame yourself. There had to of been a reason behind this and it was most likely for the best. I know that is really hard to come to terms with. Like others have said it happens more than we even know about it. Some women don't even know they are pregnant yet and think the miscarriage is their irregular period.

You take care and if you need someone to talk to you can message me privately. Be sure to allow your body proper healing time. I was told at least two periods.

I am also sorry your parents are not supportive with the situation with your husband. Good luck with everything. less

Hi all,

Some of you read my post about how I discovered I was pregnant. At first I was scared and wasn't even sure I would continue the pregnancy, but as time went on I started to get excited and looking forward to the baby. Well, I started bleeding this past Wednesday and by Thursday I lost the pregnancy. I would have been about 6-7 weeks, I'm not sure exactly because I hadn't had an ultrasound yet. The hardest part was feeling like I "caused" the miscarriage. Like somehow the baby "knew" I was uncertain, at first, about him/her. I've heard so many times that it was likely a chromosomal abnormality, nothing I could do, etc. but I'm convinced that it is my fault. I'm so angry at myself, at the world, at God. Everyone says I should take the time to grieve, but I don't want to. How do I move on from something that was a precious gift, my one possible joy in a bleak world? I wish I could just pretend this never happened, by getting pregnant right away. But my husband refuses to. He's an immigrant and wants to get his papers before we start trying. I don't see how that is possible because I didn't make enough money to file for him and my parents refuse to file an affidavit of support-saying they supported me before I started working. I feel hopeless now. At a complete standstill in life. At least I have a job, but what I want to be doing is finishing up school. We both do. I'm a resident of another state and there are no programs for what my husband and I want to do in our current city, so it makes sense for us to relocate. But we can't. I can't make up for the pregnancy I lost because it IS risking it to have a child with him-he could be deported. It's not likely, but it's possible. My parents are completely unsupportive so they would not be a help to me at all. I guess it looks like I'll be stuck where I am, my husband and I working with my parents who are against us, not able to move forward in life and I just lost the one thing that would make me happy. Great. less