Miscarriage poll-Private voting

Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
As some of you know, I had a miscarriage 10 days ago. It was and is still very hard for me, as you can imagine. My first pregnancy that I've been looking forward to for almost 10 years.... Anyway, one thing that I have been told is that "30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage"- Hence, I should feel comforted that it is a very common thing and there is likely nothing I could have done to prevent it. That is why I'm making this poll-I would like to know, of women who have been pregnant, how many have had a miscarriage/s? I have a feeling the figure is inflated so I would like to know from you guys. Thank you for your replies.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I've had one miscarriage.
24  (43%)
I've had two or more miscarriages.
9  (16%)
I've been pregnant and it did NOT end in a miscarriage.
23  (41%)
Total votes: 56
Poll is closed
04/02/2012
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Contributor: Sex Positivity Sex Positivity
I had a miscarriage at age fifteen. It was dreadful, really. I hope you're feeling alright. I'm positive my circumstances were different than yours, but I can sympathize.
04/02/2012
Contributor: funluvinmama funluvinmama
At 18, I miscarried at 4 1/2 months pregnant. I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
04/02/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
So far, 3/3? Wow. I'm not sure if the results are skewed because women who have miscarried are more likely to open the thread, but the more stories I read the less alone I feel, so it's good to hear from you.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Sorry about your loss. What you should do right now is to let your uterus rest and take good care of yourself, so you can have as many babies as you want in the future.

I've been pregnant twice, and have never had any miscarriages. When I found out I was pregnant, I'm very careful with everything I do to avoid any mishaps.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
I've had two miscarriages so far. I'm 25.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I forgot to mention that you should let your uterus recuperate for at least two to three months, so the wall of your uterus can heal properly.
04/02/2012
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss! I've had one miscarriage, my first daughter was 5 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. I lost that baby, but I've had two healthy babies since then.
04/02/2012
Contributor: catsin catsin
I'm sorry to hear of your loss

I hope things work out for you, I'm sure they will with time!

I've been told I can't get pregnant, so... I've decided to be a school teacher
04/02/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and I was 18. I found out I was pregnant right away because I was so sick. I was very excited about it because we were trying to get pregnant. My babies heart beat never started to beat or it died before the heart beat could be screened. And it resulted in a miscarriage. But when they did the ultrasound to check everything, I was about a month behind what they thought. Which could not be true because I had known I was pregnant for longer then they were saying. This is called a missed miscarriage. My body did not recognize what was going on until a month or so later. I ended up having a D&C. It was pretty hard to deal with and I still have not completely come to terms with it, but I am trying to accept it. If I would not have miscarried that baby I would not have my toddler right now. This is because I got pregnant with him 2 months later.
04/02/2012
Contributor: mpfm mpfm
I am sorry for your loss, bayosgirl.
04/02/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
As some of you know, I had a miscarriage 10 days ago. It was and is still very hard for me, as you can imagine. My first pregnancy that I've been looking forward to for almost 10 years.... Anyway, one thing that I have been told is that "30% ... more
I'm so sorry, honey. I haven't been around every day and I didn't realize you had miscarried.

I have miscarried twice that I know of. (Not counting "late, heavy flow periods" that are often early miscarriages that one doesn't even know about.)

I miscarried once when my first baby was about 16 months old, and then years later shortly before my endometriosis was treated. I was very sad about the first one (and even cried on the due date, despite the fact that I was 7 months pregnant with my next baby) The second one, I hardly knew I was pregnant, in fact it only occurred to me when I noticed the way the "period" was progressing and realized, having been through it once before, that it was almost identical. I went to the hospital for an unneeded D&C with my first (as I passed the entire rest of the pregnancy IN the OR waiting room before the surgery, showed it to the nurse, and without caring she flushed it down the toilet.) The next time, I decided to let nature take it course, and didn't even call anybody. As I hadn't realized I was pregnant, it wasn't as awful. But, the first one took me about a month to emotionally and physically get over.

I hope you feel better soon.
04/02/2012
Contributor: CoffeeCup CoffeeCup
I'm sorry for your loss.

Every woman in my family has miscarried at least once. The only exceptions being those who were careful to never conceive. Of the pregnancies that made it to term, several past away soon after birth.
04/02/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
Sorry about your loss. What you should do right now is to let your uterus rest and take good care of yourself, so you can have as many babies as you want in the future.

I've been pregnant twice, and have never had any miscarriages. When I ... more
One can't cause or prevent a miscarriage. They are usually due to either hormonal issues in the mother (most of which can be treated) or the fact that he body recognizes severe trisomies and other severe anomalies in the pregnancies of many women and spontaneously takes care of them by miscarrying.

If a woman could cause a miscarriage, there would be no "abortion issue" in this country.

One can be "as careful" as one wants, if your hormones are not cooperating or you are carrying a fetus with chromosome anomalies, and your body is one which recognizes such (most women who miscarry actually have miscarried fetuses whose anomalies are incompatible with life or living and growing healthily) most women will miscarry.

Most OBs actually say that women who miscarry are less likely to give birth to a damaged baby. These women have sensitive systems which recognize chromosomal and other problems, and the healthier the women, the less likely she is to carry a damaged fetus to term. I know it's cold comfort when one has just lost a pregnancy, but in the long run, having a body that recognizes severe fetal anomalies results in better outcomes.

I am only saying this because a woman should never feel guilty about a miscarriage. They are virtually impossible to cause, and although living a healthy lifestyle may result in a healthier baby, NO ONE needs to be made to feel bad for something that was simply the body's way of recognizing and taking care of severe issues in pregnancy.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
I am so sorry for your loss. I personally have been pregnant once and have the baby. But my sister had a miscarriage (around the time I found out I was pregnant back in February 2011) and is still emotionally a wreck from it. My mama has had 13 between my little brother and our littlest brother!! Some ended from violent boyfriends, others from nature, and she wasn't even trying to get pregnant AND she was taking precautions. She kept saying if "God means for me to have a baby I will have one." Or "This one is the last one that is trying to come back stronger." My mother is a very spiritual person. After she had my littlest brother she got her tubes tied. She never let us see how hard the miscarriages were on her.

I remember one time she fell down the stairs and miscarried. I was probably about 7. While she was laying at the bottom of the stairs she told me, "Let's not tell anyone about this, okay?" She lay there and cried for a while. At the time I thought it was cause falling hurt. Now I see why.

Looking back on all this I am crying, and even more sympathetic to your situation. I don't know if you are of the same faith as me, but I would like to pray for you, if you don't mind.
04/02/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had two very difficult pregnancies but I didn't miscarry. With my oldest we had the vaginal ultrasound early in the pregnancy and later that same day I bled, and bled, and bled and thought I was going to miscarry. My youngest, I had placental previa where he wasn't placed in the proper position inside me so I had to be on bedrest and couldn't be intimate with my partner for several months.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Quote:
Originally posted by unfulfilled
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had two very difficult pregnancies but I didn't miscarry. With my oldest we had the vaginal ultrasound early in the pregnancy and later that same day I bled, and bled, and bled and thought I was going to ... more
I had placenta previa, too. That was scary!
04/02/2012
Contributor: wildorchid wildorchid
I haven't been pregnant that I know of but I have a friend who miscarried her first child, my mother miscarried 4 pregnancies and my grandmother miscarried as well. You are not along at all, in fact the friend I mentioned has started a community for mothers who have experienced miscarriage. I would be more than happy to give you the information if you want. Just message me. I hope you're feeling a bit better. So sorry for you loss.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Khanner Khanner
I'm sorry for your loss. My friend has recently miscarried her first pregnancy and it's hit her quite hard.

My mother's friend had a blood type incompatibility that caused her many miscarriages, but she did finally become pregnant. I'm sure you will eventually have your baby.
04/02/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Thank you for your replies everyone. I'm so sorry for your losses. :-( But it does give me strength to know that if you all made it through and went on to have healthy pregnancies, maybe I can too. I would thank you all individually but it would redundant so let me just respond to a couple of things.

P'Gell, thank you for the technical information. I swear I learn something new from you all the time! I had not thought to look at it that way--far from being "defective", my body is sensitive and intelligent enough to detect a damaged pregnancy early enough so I didn't have to suffer a late term miscarriage or give birth to a deformed baby. I am pretty sure it had to have been a chromosomal problem, because as far as I know I am healthy and have no hormonal issues (my bloodwork has always been pristine.) I'm going to get a thorough gyno exam just to make sure, before we start trying.

Lil' Missy, are you a Christian? I have a feeling...even if not, you are welcome to pray for me and I appreciate the thought. My husband and I are Christians...I'm struggling to hold on to my faith though. It's easy to say "God cares" when you're not the one going through a hard time. Now the tables have turned..

wildorchid, messaging you now..
04/02/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
double post, sorry!
04/02/2012
Contributor: Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
A good friend of mine has miscarried two or three times. It was devastating and she was about to give up.

She just entered her second trimester...pregnant with TWINS!

Don't give up.
04/02/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
One can't cause or prevent a miscarriage. They are usually due to either hormonal issues in the mother (most of which can be treated) or the fact that he body recognizes severe trisomies and other severe anomalies in the pregnancies of many women ... more
The things you said are all true. I was extra cautious when I was pregnant, just because my mom has been brainwashing me with how hard it was for her, when she was pregnant with me and had bed rest through most of the pregnancy. For that reason, I was wary that I might mess my own pregnancies up, so I tried to be as careful as I can.
04/02/2012
Contributor: TexasBrat TexasBrat
I'm sorry for your loss. Be brave, I'm sure it will happen.
04/02/2012
Contributor: mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by funluvinmama
At 18, I miscarried at 4 1/2 months pregnant. I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
omgosh im so sorry that would be horrible. I've had 2 pregnancies - neither m/c.
04/02/2012
Contributor: CindyH CindyH
i have never had a miss carage
04/02/2012
Contributor: Lilith Bealove Lilith Bealove
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Thank you for your replies everyone. I'm so sorry for your losses. :-( But it does give me strength to know that if you all made it through and went on to have healthy pregnancies, maybe I can too. I would thank you all individually but it would ... more
Yes, I am. Do you mind if I message you?
04/03/2012
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
As some of you know, I had a miscarriage 10 days ago. It was and is still very hard for me, as you can imagine. My first pregnancy that I've been looking forward to for almost 10 years.... Anyway, one thing that I have been told is that "30% ... more
im sorry for your loss
04/03/2012
Contributor: Deeder Deeder
My mother had two miscarriages (one between my older sister and I, the other between me and younger sister), my older sister had at least three before she was able to carry my nephew to term, and I have had one myself.

I'm currently on my third pregnancy. The first resulted in our son who'll turn 2 next month. When he was about 6 months old we found out that I was pregnant again. (I usually find out early, generally within the first week.) I'm naturally a worrisome person, so I didn't want to tell any of our family until after a decent amount of time had passed and we'd seen the doctor. We ended up telling everyone (including all our friends on facebook and my work) on Christmas Eve/Day. It was about three weeks after that, on our next visit to the doctor (I would've been about 18 wks), that an ultrasound showed there was no fetal heartbeat, and all growth had likely stopped about 9 weeks prior.

It was hard knowing that I had been carrying around our dead baby for 9 weeks without realizing it. Even harder having to go back and tell everyone the news. Even though I was extremely depressed for what felt like forever, it was somewhat comforting in retrospect knowing that it was likely some sort of chromosomal abnormailty or something, and that the loss, while still hard, was easier to handle as early as it happened rather than later on, where we would've been even more attached to it.

All I can say is, yes, it sucks bigtime. But eventually it will get better. Odds are it will probably take a while, but the grieving process is just one of those things that you have to push yourself through. I wish nothing but the best for you, and pray that the two of you will be able to heal from this as soon as possible.
04/03/2012
Contributor: curious kitten curious kitten
I have had 2 sons and 1 miscarriage. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is hard, I lost my love less than a year ago and am still dealing. I pray that when you both are ready that you will be blessed with all the wonder and joy that you have waited so long for.
04/03/2012