My Husband Has A Dfficult Time Getting Into My Vagina. What Can I Do?

Contributor: CS2012 CS2012
My husband usually has difficult time getting his penis into my vagina. I try and get good and wet using a toy. Even though I am good and wet he still has a very difficult time getting into my vagina. As he puts it "she won't let him in".

Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do?
11/08/2010
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Contributor: SexyTabby SexyTabby
Is it because he's simply larger or some sort of stress involved? Could be any number of things really. Is it a recent change?
11/08/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
LUBE. It's a girl's best friend.
11/08/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Relaxation and positions that keep you legs open are what is helpful. my current partner and I had problems with this in the beginning since he is much larger than the partner i had before that. It took patience, practice, lube, relation, and some research into positions.

I recommend doggy style to enter and then laying down on your stomach with your legs open. Closing your legs makes you tighter and he will have more difficulty.
11/08/2010
Contributor: CS2012 CS2012
Can it be because he wasn't hard enough? That's what I told him.
11/08/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
LUBE. It's a girl's best friend.
ditto. But read through the reviews and ingredients lists. ESPECIALLY if you have allergies or sensitivities to anything.
11/08/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by CS2012
Can it be because he wasn't hard enough? That's what I told him.
Absolutely. That makes things anywhere from difficult to impossible.
11/08/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Absolutely. That makes things anywhere from difficult to impossible.
I'll second that. And of course, if it's an issue of him not being hard enough, he probably doesn't want to admit that the problem is on his end. Men can be very sensitive about that, but I dated a man who had the same problem. He would keep trying and trying and act like nothing was wrong. I was like, listen, either I don't excite you enough or it's just not a good time. Turns out, his blood pressure medicine was interfering with his erections, so he went to his Dr. to get some "help"
11/08/2010
Contributor: CS2012 CS2012
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
Absolutely. That makes things anywhere from difficult to impossible.
Thank you. I thought that was the problem.
11/09/2010
Contributor: CS2012 CS2012
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
I'll second that. And of course, if it's an issue of him not being hard enough, he probably doesn't want to admit that the problem is on his end. Men can be very sensitive about that, but I dated a man who had the same problem. He would ... more
When my husband is tired he has a hard time getting an erection. So I think that was it.
11/09/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
If you aren't trying lube I'd recommend it (either that or tell him that you really need a bit of oral to get you ready ). I find sometimes that even though my wife's "wet" it hasn't lubricated the vulva very much, so it's hard to get past the lips. Some lube or a bit of oral fixes that problem.
11/09/2010
Contributor: kitti kitti
viagra is a men's best friend
11/09/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by kitti
viagra is a men's best friend
I prefer cialis - it lasts longer (36 hrs) - but if you know you're going to be having sex, viagra is a great short-term kick.
11/10/2010
Contributor: PuplePleasures PuplePleasures
Lubricants, arousal cream, body oils.
11/10/2010
Contributor: CS2012 CS2012
We have a bottle of lube some place. We hardly ever use it.

What is viagra?
11/14/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by CS2012
We have a bottle of lube some place. We hardly ever use it.

What is viagra?
It's a prescription that helps a man maintain an erection. He'll need to go see his dr. for it.
11/14/2010
Contributor: Phoenix713 Phoenix713
Quote:
Originally posted by CS2012
My husband usually has difficult time getting his penis into my vagina. I try and get good and wet using a toy. Even though I am good and wet he still has a very difficult time getting into my vagina. As he puts it "she won't let him ... more
Definitely use more lube. It's magic.
11/14/2010
Contributor: Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Maybe he is trying to get in at the wrong angle as well, if hes hitting pelvic bone, that could also cause problems. My x says he could be totally flacid and still get into me. I dunno. In any case. Patience, figure out what works for the two of you.
11/15/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Do you have problems inserting a finger or two into your vagina? What about toys? Any difficulty with penetration?

If it isn't that he's "hard enough" (and a workable erection feels like anything from a slightly squishy on the outside with a firm core silicone toy to a rod of something resembling steel with skin over it. Every man is different and every man can have varying erections.) there is a condition called "Vaginismus." It is when muscles around the opening of the vagina spasm and prevent penetration or make this very painful. Only a doctor or midwife can diagnose Vaginismus.

Is this a new problem or has it always happened? I'm not sure what you mean by "he can't get in." Does his penis kind of moosh when it comes in contact with your vulva (which is usually what happens when the erection is lacking or not strong enough)or is he trying and has an erection, and nothing can enter the vagina?

Oral sex for and by both of you will help with arousal so that penetration will be easier. I've been having sex for decades, and have no problem with my vaginal muscles, but I need to be "warmed up" and get the natural lubrication going (often to orgasm) by receiving oral sex. Also, My Man is older (in his early 50s) and he almost always needs (but always gets) some oral sex from me before and even during PIV sex. Sometimes you just want to change things up, and we go back and forth.

Both your natural lubrication and a good, safe bottled lube (my new favorite is Sliquid Ride H2O) applied to both your vagina and his penis before penetration is started, after a good oral session may do the trick.

If not, then doctor visits for both of you is probably a good idea.
11/16/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by CS2012
We have a bottle of lube some place. We hardly ever use it.

What is viagra?
Viagra and Cialis, while miracle drugs for some, also simply don't work for some men - sometimes based on the cause of the lack of erection, and sometimes because not all pills work on all people. The side effects from both (and Levitra) can also be really harsh so if you do choose to go this route, just be sure you know all the risks as well as the benefits.
11/16/2010