Recommendations for the 6 weeks of no sex following childbirth

Recommendations for the 6 weeks of no sex following childbirth

Unconventional Unconventional
This is our second child, and I remember when my son was born, the postpartum period was hell. No depression or anything, but the lack of sex was miserable. And it wasn't like oral was an option, since I bled for the first 4 weeks. I can get off on clitoral stimulation alone, so hubby and I were trying to figure out which toy would be best during this time period.

It needs to be something that:

Will clean easily and not stain if it gets blood on it.

Has intense vibrations

Isn't an internal toy (or if it has a part that goes inside, isn't large)

Is either hands-free or is something my husband won't have to focus too intently on using (I plan on using this while giving him head, so I'd rather him not be overly distracted with heavy or awkward objects).

Personal experience with whatever toy you recommend is preferred. Thanks in advance!
11/06/2010
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ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Unconventional
This is our second child, and I remember when my son was born, the postpartum period was hell. No depression or anything, but the lack of sex was miserable. And it wasn't like oral was an option, since I bled for the first 4 weeks. I can get ...
I've never had children, but are you sure this is a good idea? I always thought no sex meant, well, no sex.
11/06/2010
ScottA ScottA
I'd think one of the silicone "caps" for a Magic Wand or similar might be a good choice. You can get ones that are outside only or have a small insertable portion. While they need to be held the power and size means that your husband wouldn't have to worry much about keeping it exactly in position, and the cap comes off easily to clean.

True handsfree "strap-on" vibrators don't seem to work very well yet.
11/06/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
I've never had children, but are you sure this is a good idea? I always thought no sex meant, well, no sex.
It's basically "nothing in the vagina" that they mean when they say no sex.
11/06/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Unconventional
This is our second child, and I remember when my son was born, the postpartum period was hell. No depression or anything, but the lack of sex was miserable. And it wasn't like oral was an option, since I bled for the first 4 weeks. I can get ...
Be aware if this is your first kid that orgasms while you still have lochia can cause some pretty intense cramps especially the first few weeks. Doctors don't want anything introduced into the vagina for at least two to three weeks post partum because of the risk of infection if you have some tearing. You can get pregnant within a few weeks after giving birth which is NOT good for the body...I had a miserable second pregnancy because my body wasn't healed properly from my first! I would use either a hard plastic small vibe or clitoral stimulator if you don't want to worry about blood staining. I used a mini pearlesscent vibe after Monkey was born because it's cheap and hard plastic. It got the job done and for me eased the lochia cramps. If you have sutures from an episiotomy then don't use an insertable toy (duh right?).
If you develop hemorrhoids be sure you are very careful cause they hurt like the dickens if they are touched during play though gentle pressure can lead to some pretty spectacular orgasm (at least it did for me) I used a cotton pad with Witchhazel poured on it to help ease the swelling and shrink the tissues and the orgasm seemed to help with the blood flow issues.
Hope that helps
11/06/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
I can't believe you even want to in the first weeks. Your first baby must have been a much better sleeper than mine.
11/07/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
It's basically "nothing in the vagina" that they mean when they say no sex.
Thank you! I never knew, and I also never had the opportunity to ask.
11/07/2010
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Be aware if this is your first kid that orgasms while you still have lochia can cause some pretty intense cramps especially the first few weeks. Doctors don't want anything introduced into the vagina for at least two to three weeks post partum ...
I would use a small plastic trad vibe also, it was the first thing that came to mind. Although it isn't hands free it's not complex.
11/07/2010
Kayla Kayla
I have no idea about material-wise on accidentally discoloring the toy. I'd imagine it'd be easier to do with soft toys like VixSkin or silicone though I rarely use toys with blood. I know glass/Stainless steel don't have discoloration, so off the top of my head, I'd probably recommend the EdenFantasys Kissa toy since it's glass and vibrates (and is really tiny and easy to use), but I'm not sure about the strength since I don't own it. I'm not sure about plastic though - I think I used to use it with no discoloration.

Honestly, I think it just comes down to making sure you clean it afterwards. Since you're concerned, I'd recommend picking up a cheaper (but body-safe) vibe and using it. I know the Doc Johnson Velvet Touch is pretty cheap and pretty strong. It's plastic, soft, pretty small, and very out-of-the-way. My first toy actually.
11/07/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Kayla
I have no idea about material-wise on accidentally discoloring the toy. I'd imagine it'd be easier to do with soft toys like VixSkin or silicone though I rarely use toys with blood. I know glass/Stainless steel don't have discoloration, ...
I've gotten blood on the Velvet Touch and it washed off. Ironically, I wasn't even using it when I bled on it. I was rearranging my Tunti when something startled me, and I slammed my hand while trying to not let the Tunti slam on any toys. Pretty sure I couldn't replicate the accident, but I got blood on several things, and they all washed fine. I tested them with peroxide, just to be sure.

(Fortunately no jelly or even TPR was involved -- just plastic, silicone, and glass.)

(Oh, and don't blame the Tunti, it doesn't have sharp edges, but a certain piece of furniture in my bedroom does. Or did, that situation has been corrected.)
11/07/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
I've never had children, but are you sure this is a good idea? I always thought no sex meant, well, no sex.
Yup, it's not harming anything. Most people have sex anyway (lots of women are pregnant at their 6 week check-up). Penetration just hurt too much last time due to a 3rd degree episiotomy.
11/07/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Like everyone said here, I would make sure it is something that can be completely sanitized (for risk of infection), and something small. Maybe some lovely silicone?

(and you are damn lucky cause sex was the FURTHEST thing from my mind for the first 6 weeks)
11/07/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Be aware if this is your first kid that orgasms while you still have lochia can cause some pretty intense cramps especially the first few weeks. Doctors don't want anything introduced into the vagina for at least two to three weeks post partum ...
Nah, this is our second. I couldn't even put anything in there until almost 4 months later last time and hubby was seriously put off by how much pain I was in. The cramping wouldn't surprise me, since I'm currently having light Braxton Hicks contractions every time I orgasm. Not a big deal, since I'm technically full-term already. But orgasms have actually helped me with regular period cramps in the past. Hoping that's the case here too. :/

And yes, I actually had witch hazel pads last time. Also used a sitz bath which was a godsend. Never had the hemorrhoid issue, but I will keep that in mind.
11/07/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I can't believe you even want to in the first weeks. Your first baby must have been a much better sleeper than mine.
LOL, yes, he was such a good sleeper that his pediatrician demanded that I wake him up to feed him. This resulted in a VERY fat baby, as my breastmilk is like Niagra freakin' Falls and is extremely rich. Definitely going off of baby's ques this time...cuz my son HATED being woken up.
11/07/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
Thanks guys, I'll go over all the recommendations when the hubster gets online tonight. We wash all of our toys immediately, but have noticed slight discoloration on one of our toys regardless. Just means we'll be staying away from jelly and rubber. I just didn't know how silicone and other soft-but-non-pourous materials reacted to blood after prolonged exposure.
11/07/2010
SexyStuff SexyStuff
Such a helpful post!
01/14/2012
AndromedaJane AndromedaJane
I use my lelo liv postpartum and just wash with soap and water.
11/06/2012
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 11