Trouble Having an Orgasm?

I could be off-base here, but it seems like it might help if you were turned on before you started. Maybe try reading some erotica or watching porn... anything that might start the process naturally.

Although I enjoy sex and I am a sexual person, I don't want to do it all the time and I don't make it a priority in my life. I probably get "naturally" horny a few times a month, mostly during ovulation ("need to breed"). The rest of the time, I feel sort of asexual. Doesn't matter if it's happening or not, life is good, and that is all that matters to me. Some people say "I can't live without sex a couple times a week!". Everyone is different though, so don't ever think that something is wrong with you, at least not yet. You are still young and you have time to figure it out. Having an orgasm is just as much mental as physical, and if I'm playing with myself but I can't think of the right triggers, it just doesn't happen.

I think sybarite1 is right though, watch some porn, even soft erotic movies such as Wild Orchid, one of my personal faves featuring Mickey Rourke. It made me flush and tingly when I was 19.

I didn't have my first orgasm until 21, (I will be 23 next saturday) and I too got 'revved up' with nowhere to go. Took a lot of trial and error with toys to find something good for me.

Perhaps you're wired a bit differently. Are you doing clit stim? I find with me, direct clit contact is not the best, but a circling motion around it helps a lot and feels much better. It also helps to fantasize while using toys, or perhaps read a smutty book and use the vibe at the same time while reading, you might get so absorbed in it that the orgasm will creep up on you.

I know about the touching thing, I'm still getting over my fears. I come from an extremely conservative family with a very domineering father. It takes time to work through the issues. Perhaps if it's really bothering you, maybe seek a sex therapist? I know I'm far from perfect myself and hope to see one someday when out on my own so I can better myself and let go of all my negativity.

I would also suggest looking into what is preventing you from getting excited. Are you taking any medications? Antidepressents? Birth control? Do you suffer from prolonged stress? Anxiety disorders? Depression? What are your eating habits? All that can factor into just getting 'revved up' to begin with.

Also as has been said, every woman is different, and your mileage may vary when it comes to libido. You will also have periods of not wanting it, and periods of wanting it, it's the ebb and flow of life.

Hun,

At 24 and never been with anyone as it "grosses you out"... Leads me to wonder if perhaps you have something more going on! Now do not get me wrong, it is comendable that you have waited for what ever reason, but at the same time I think that perhaps sexualy you have hindered yourself. The gross part of touching another body I would bet carries into your own life and your own doings with your own body. I could be wrong, but I think you need to over come the stigmas of the body that you have.

You know, more then 75% of all women are not able to orgasm at all till they learn what it is and how to do it? I sense from what you have wrote that you so desperatly what to experience "this thing called an orgasm" that you are frustrating yourself looking for something that for most.... happens when they least expect it, and when they forget about finding it and just concentrate on the pure pleasure that you are able to feel.

Don't be so hard on yourself, allow yourself the time to work yourself up, if you don't feel it don't worry, explore your body and find what works for you and what doesn't.

don't underestimate the power of running water too, from the faucet or a hand-held shower. Maybe it will provide a different type of sensation and maybe even have less gross factor to you??

I've had trouble for months due to anxiety medicines I've been taking. What I found worked for me was watching a little porn before hand. Just find something that you like and watch it for a little bit. It should help

You might try the Hitachi with whatever porn or psychological stimulation you need, nothing much stronger than that. For instance, are you maybe turned on by things you think might be too weird or extreme? Try to allow yourself to please yourself whatever that takes; just remember this is just something for you to enjoy, there's no pressure.