How do you define virginity? It's something that I've wondered about for a long time, but I'm still not decided. What are your thoughts?
How do you define Virginity?
10/13/2012
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In my opinion, true virginity is the state of never having had sexual interactions of any kind with another person. Beyond that, it's something lost progressively and for many people never lost completely (seriously, there's so many kinds of sex to be had!). I'm also completely dismissive of the notion that the hymen has anything whatsoever to do with it. If that sucker can be broken through mundane activity, or even be broken or completely absent from the moment a girl is born, then it makes no sense to count it.
Really, though, I'm of the opinion that virginity isn't something everyone should be so incredibly concerned with. I wouldn't even mind seeing the term fall out of use, frankly.
Really, though, I'm of the opinion that virginity isn't something everyone should be so incredibly concerned with. I wouldn't even mind seeing the term fall out of use, frankly.
10/13/2012
I argued with hubby the other night because he thinks virginity is lost when you have penetration by a male partner. I think this is demeaning to those whose sexual acts don't include male anatomy.
Virginity is a term I would like to see fall off the face of the Earth as well. I looked up the definition and was appalled!
Straight off google.
"A person, typically a woman, who has never had sexual intercourse."
Dictionary.com
"1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. Ecclesiastical . an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.
4. the Virgin, Mary, the mother of Christ.
5. Informal . any person who is uninitiated, uninformed, or the like: He's still a virgin as far as hard work is concerned. "
"Synonyms
2. maid, maiden. 11. chaste, unpolluted. 13. unalloyed, unadulterated. 14. fresh, new."
Seriously? I can't help but find the synonyms offensive.
I define virginity as being irrelevant! I don't think it's something that anyone should concern themselves with.
Virginity is a term I would like to see fall off the face of the Earth as well. I looked up the definition and was appalled!
Straight off google.
"A person, typically a woman, who has never had sexual intercourse."
Dictionary.com
"1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. Ecclesiastical . an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.
4. the Virgin, Mary, the mother of Christ.
5. Informal . any person who is uninitiated, uninformed, or the like: He's still a virgin as far as hard work is concerned. "
"Synonyms
2. maid, maiden. 11. chaste, unpolluted. 13. unalloyed, unadulterated. 14. fresh, new."
Seriously? I can't help but find the synonyms offensive.
I define virginity as being irrelevant! I don't think it's something that anyone should concern themselves with.
10/13/2012
I think the best answer is that virginity is defined by the individual person in question or is decided together as a couple. What a virgin is can be very simple, or very complex. It depends on the person.
10/13/2012
Quote:
Originally, "virgin" literally meant "a woman who has not had sex with a man," so that's where that's coming from and likely why it gets so much mention from dictionary.com.
Originally posted by
Beck
I argued with hubby the other night because he thinks virginity is lost when you have penetration by a male partner. I think this is demeaning to those whose sexual acts don't include male anatomy.
Virginity is a term I would like to see ... more
Virginity is a term I would like to see ... more
I argued with hubby the other night because he thinks virginity is lost when you have penetration by a male partner. I think this is demeaning to those whose sexual acts don't include male anatomy.
Virginity is a term I would like to see fall off the face of the Earth as well. I looked up the definition and was appalled!
Straight off google.
"A person, typically a woman, who has never had sexual intercourse."
Dictionary.com
"1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. Ecclesiastical . an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.
4. the Virgin, Mary, the mother of Christ.
5. Informal . any person who is uninitiated, uninformed, or the like: He's still a virgin as far as hard work is concerned. "
"Synonyms
2. maid, maiden. 11. chaste, unpolluted. 13. unalloyed, unadulterated. 14. fresh, new."
Seriously? I can't help but find the synonyms offensive.
I define virginity as being irrelevant! I don't think it's something that anyone should concern themselves with. less
Virginity is a term I would like to see fall off the face of the Earth as well. I looked up the definition and was appalled!
Straight off google.
"A person, typically a woman, who has never had sexual intercourse."
Dictionary.com
"1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. Ecclesiastical . an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.
4. the Virgin, Mary, the mother of Christ.
5. Informal . any person who is uninitiated, uninformed, or the like: He's still a virgin as far as hard work is concerned. "
"Synonyms
2. maid, maiden. 11. chaste, unpolluted. 13. unalloyed, unadulterated. 14. fresh, new."
Seriously? I can't help but find the synonyms offensive.
I define virginity as being irrelevant! I don't think it's something that anyone should concern themselves with. less
That said, it's an archaic definition, and it's kind of surprising and annoying to see that it's still so prominent. And that one from Google... "Typically a woman"? Really, Google?
The more I think on it, the more I feel we need to just get rid of the term. Trying to define it gets too messy at times and it puts so much unnecessary emotional pressure on those who've never been intimate before.
10/13/2012
Thanks so much! Its great to heard from people who feel similarly to me!
10/14/2012
Quote:
Its also nice to heard from people with differing opinions from mine (i didnt want to sound close minded!)
Originally posted by
Glinteye
Thanks so much! Its great to heard from people who feel similarly to me!
10/14/2012
Quote:
Could've just edited your original statement to say that it's great to hear everyone's opinions.
Originally posted by
Glinteye
Its also nice to heard from people with differing opinions from mine (i didnt want to sound close minded!)
10/14/2012
I agree with Rin and Beck, even though my sn has virgin in it!
10/16/2012
I'd like to see the term "virginity" fall out of use entirely. It's an antiquated, misogynistic, oppressive, socially constructed concept that has no redeeming value whatsoever. Sexual experiences are gained, nothing is lost. The hymen is a myth (literally, there's nothing to break or pop, except in medical anomalies) and inconsequential to the idea of virginity in any case. There's simply nothing so profound about putting a penis in a vagina that, in itself, without the personal emotional and mental significance ascribed by the individuals involved, fundamentally changes a person in any real way that it needs to be labeled as a milestone unless the people involved wish to do so. No one act renders any future act any less significant or meaningful. As Rin indicates, we will, hopefully, continue to have new experiences throughout our entire lives, all of which will be profound and important to us in their own respects. Our sex lives should be seen as a series of first experiences and repeat performances, all of which contribute to a net gain of experiences as we grow and evolve as a person. Virginity is a sex-negative idea that leads to oppression of sexuality, especially in women and a misunderstanding of our own bodies and desires.
10/24/2012
Most people think of losing virginity as penis-in-vagina sex, which excludes many many people. Everyone defines it differently but that's the most common one and really proves that it shouldn't even be a thing. It puts so much pressure on one experience and the first time for other activities doesn't have the same emphasis.
10/25/2012
I define virginity as the status of never having experienced any consensual sexual interactions. It's nothing special, when you are ready to be sexually active then you are ready. It doesn't matter if penetration is involved nor what the sex/gender of the people involved or how many of them participate.
10/28/2012
I agree with others above that the concept of virginity is archaic and is based around the notion that women must be kept "pure".
However, I think that meezerosity's definition is truly excellent -- "never having experienced any consensual sexual interactions."
Once I disregarded the conventional notion of virginity for myself, I found myself wanting to redefine it and to figure out when I had "truly" stopped being a virgin (which this current discussion highlights as still being somewhat problematic). I felt like the awkward sexual experimentation with my 2-year-older boyfriend when I was a preteen really didn't count, but that later interactions at similar activity levels did -- I think that in part, it was because I wasn't old enough to really understand what it was that we were doing. I don't feel that it was nonconsensual (I'd say we were equally uninformed), but I didn't experience any agency or desire, whereas in later interactions I did.
Consent + Desire = Loss of Virginity?
However, I think that meezerosity's definition is truly excellent -- "never having experienced any consensual sexual interactions."
Once I disregarded the conventional notion of virginity for myself, I found myself wanting to redefine it and to figure out when I had "truly" stopped being a virgin (which this current discussion highlights as still being somewhat problematic). I felt like the awkward sexual experimentation with my 2-year-older boyfriend when I was a preteen really didn't count, but that later interactions at similar activity levels did -- I think that in part, it was because I wasn't old enough to really understand what it was that we were doing. I don't feel that it was nonconsensual (I'd say we were equally uninformed), but I didn't experience any agency or desire, whereas in later interactions I did.
Consent + Desire = Loss of Virginity?
10/28/2012
Quote:
As far as the hymen goes, many women have a membrane that partially covers or surrounds the opening of the vagina (as in, only a very small area of it). The effects of sexual intercourse and other activities on it vary widely, and there's a lot of common misconceptions surrounding it, among them being the notion that it completely covers the vaginal opening, or that it's further inside than it actually is (you'll see this a lot in amateur erotica). This can happen, but as you said, only in medical anomalies.
Originally posted by
charletnarouh
I'd like to see the term "virginity" fall out of use entirely. It's an antiquated, misogynistic, oppressive, socially constructed concept that has no redeeming value whatsoever. Sexual experiences are gained, nothing is lost. The
...
more
I'd like to see the term "virginity" fall out of use entirely. It's an antiquated, misogynistic, oppressive, socially constructed concept that has no redeeming value whatsoever. Sexual experiences are gained, nothing is lost. The hymen is a myth (literally, there's nothing to break or pop, except in medical anomalies) and inconsequential to the idea of virginity in any case. There's simply nothing so profound about putting a penis in a vagina that, in itself, without the personal emotional and mental significance ascribed by the individuals involved, fundamentally changes a person in any real way that it needs to be labeled as a milestone unless the people involved wish to do so. No one act renders any future act any less significant or meaningful. As Rin indicates, we will, hopefully, continue to have new experiences throughout our entire lives, all of which will be profound and important to us in their own respects. Our sex lives should be seen as a series of first experiences and repeat performances, all of which contribute to a net gain of experiences as we grow and evolve as a person. Virginity is a sex-negative idea that leads to oppression of sexuality, especially in women and a misunderstanding of our own bodies and desires.
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I just wish it could simply be a term for a membrane and nothing more. So many people consider it "proof" or even a "trophy" of sorts that I frankly find it to be a little sick.
10/28/2012
Virginity is absurd--it's socially constructed and its purported biological basis doesn't make any sense in reality. and besides that, people usually define it as penetration by a penis. And that's totally unfair to both straight women and lesbians, because women usually experience the most pleasure in the clit, and of course lesbians don't always do penetration anyway.
But still it seems useful if you have a new partner, to know if they've never had sex before. To me, it's mutual intent for sexy pleasure. Or something.
But still it seems useful if you have a new partner, to know if they've never had sex before. To me, it's mutual intent for sexy pleasure. Or something.
11/11/2012
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Unique posters: 10