I'd like to open the floor to talk about stereotypes and double standards that independent women have to put up with. For example: I do the same things a man does and I'm a whore/slut pick a word. Or I am a feminist so I must be gay. I want to know what other women have dealt with.
Stereotypes and double standards
05/05/2012
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Because I am happy being alone and not tied down and never 'need' a man, my whole family (down to aunts, uncles and grandparents) quietly assumed I was a lesbian for years. I only found out when my grandfather told my roommates dad that "you know she likes girls eh?"
Ugh
Ugh
05/05/2012
I think men and women can be slutty lol. I know some men who are and I don't have a problem telling them or them knowing what I think. It isn't cool to be a guy and go sleeping around with many different women, atleast I don't think so. And I hate when THOSE guys want to call a girl a slut, I mean what do you think you are?!
05/05/2012
I am naturally inclined to drop whatever I'm doing to take care of my husband's whims. Somehow this makes me a doormat? How about I just really love my husband and want him to be the happiest he can be at all times. What is so wrong with that?
05/05/2012
Double standard - "You're so caring and compassionate, I can't think of you as someone I could screw."
Madonna/Whore Complex, thy name is North American Male.
Madonna/Whore Complex, thy name is North American Male.
05/05/2012
Quote:
the "friend" complex
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
Double standard - "You're so caring and compassionate, I can't think of you as someone I could screw."
Madonna/Whore Complex, thy name is North American Male.
Madonna/Whore Complex, thy name is North American Male.
05/06/2012
"Nice Guys" and "The Friend Zone"
Women who have sex are sluts, women who don't are prude or ice queens.
The impossible Madonna Ideal (women should be pure, virginal -- yet also mothers)
Women who have sex are sluts, women who don't are prude or ice queens.
The impossible Madonna Ideal (women should be pure, virginal -- yet also mothers)
05/06/2012
Quote:
haha I wish men had as many stereotypes for themselves as they do for us
Originally posted by
VelvetDragon
"Nice Guys" and "The Friend Zone"
Women who have sex are sluts, women who don't are prude or ice queens.
The impossible Madonna Ideal (women should be pure, virginal -- yet also mothers)
Women who have sex are sluts, women who don't are prude or ice queens.
The impossible Madonna Ideal (women should be pure, virginal -- yet also mothers)
05/07/2012
Quote:
I think they do have some of their own, but they're able to sweep it under the rug as "anomalies" rather than "stereotypes":
Originally posted by
indiechick
haha I wish men had as many stereotypes for themselves as they do for us
The good ones are married or gay.
The bad boys are hot lovers and that's all women want.
A guy who's disinterested in sex isn't "man enough".
Mature men don't exist.
05/07/2012
Quote:
Not every man.
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
Double standard - "You're so caring and compassionate, I can't think of you as someone I could screw."
Madonna/Whore Complex, thy name is North American Male.
Madonna/Whore Complex, thy name is North American Male.
My Man loves me as a "whore" in the bedroom (and stolen moments in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, deck, yard, hall etc) and only "Madonna" when I'm taking care of children.
So, we the only "double standard" we have, as we like it, is our D/s relationship.
My husband loves screwing a compassionate and caring woman. These men are out there. I know it. There are mature men out there. They, as a rule, may not be, on the surface as "playful" as the less mature men (although they sometimes can be, once they get to know you.) My Man isn't as "playful" as some more "fun" men (not that he isn't "fun" but not as much as the very immature boys I've dated.) However, he is fun in the bedroom, which at least for me, is even more important than a guy I can "play" with in a non sexual manner. (Although we have our own games, throwing little rubber balls at each other, tickling, teasing and playing) not ALL our interests are the same. He wouldn't go to a Craft Fair with me, and he rarely likes antique shopping (although we don't even have the money for it now) not to mention he has only gone to ONE parenting seminar with me, and I was a guest speaker at that one. And, he couldn't pay me to go watch him play softball. I hate sports, and refuse to sit on an uncomfortable bench, while he runs around with other guys. I simply can't care. I LIKE that he does it, it's good for him. But, I don't want to get involved in it. Often our social lives differ, but the important things we do together.
That's just the stuff that works for me. Does for us. We've been together more than 20 years, so we're doing something right. At least for the two of us.
05/07/2012
Quote:
I disagree with most of these, except the "A guy who isn't interested in sex.." and I would end that with "isn't for me, and I'd drop him like a hot potato after about a month of a LOT of trying."
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
I think they do have some of their own, but they're able to sweep it under the rug as "anomalies" rather than "stereotypes":
The good ones are married or gay.
The bad boys are hot lovers and that's all women ... more
The good ones are married or gay.
The bad boys are hot lovers and that's all women ... more
I think they do have some of their own, but they're able to sweep it under the rug as "anomalies" rather than "stereotypes":
The good ones are married or gay.
The bad boys are hot lovers and that's all women want.
A guy who's disinterested in sex isn't "man enough".
Mature men don't exist. less
The good ones are married or gay.
The bad boys are hot lovers and that's all women want.
A guy who's disinterested in sex isn't "man enough".
Mature men don't exist. less
I LIKE bad boys, but they have to be intelligent, caring and WORK! I said it when I was a teen, and I still think it now. No way, no how, would I support a man financially. My Man IS a "Bad Boy" but he's responsible, loving, caring (although it isn't always readily apparent to those who don't know him) and he has an education and a JOB! We are lucky that he's older and got established in his career before the Recession happened. But, I know, if things got bad (and I know they can) he'd work 3 part time jobs until a full time one came, if that's what it took.
My point is, bad boy or not. I refuse to support a man who isn't trying. Every couple runs into rough financial times (OK, the Romneys's haven't and most likely never will, as nether will others in their social and economic strata) but you get through the rough times together. My point was I wouldn't (like a LOT of my daughters' friends and even some of mine) support a guy who sits on the couch and plays stupid video games all day, and doesn't work, or gets wasted all the time and can't keep up.
There ARE good guys out there. One just has to adjust the "what I think I want" with "what is realistic" in a real man.
I don't know if I was understandable in this post. Sorry. I know what I want to say.
There are GOOD men. There are NO "perfect" men. Neither are there "perfect" women. You have to allow for a certain amount of "this may not be exactly what I thought I wanted when I was 17" along with "MOST of this is what works for me and him."
05/07/2012
Quote:
Yeah, I understand what you mean. I find the stereotypes about guys frustrating, too. That was all the stuff I heard from friends and strangers whenever they bitched about men.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I disagree with most of these, except the "A guy who isn't interested in sex.." and I would end that with "isn't for me, and I'd drop him like a hot potato after about a month of a LOT of trying."
I LIKE bad ... more
I LIKE bad ... more
I disagree with most of these, except the "A guy who isn't interested in sex.." and I would end that with "isn't for me, and I'd drop him like a hot potato after about a month of a LOT of trying."
I LIKE bad boys, but they have to be intelligent, caring and WORK! I said it when I was a teen, and I still think it now. No way, no how, would I support a man financially. My Man IS a "Bad Boy" but he's responsible, loving, caring (although it isn't always readily apparent to those who don't know him) and he has an education and a JOB! We are lucky that he's older and got established in his career before the Recession happened. But, I know, if things got bad (and I know they can) he'd work 3 part time jobs until a full time one came, if that's what it took.
My point is, bad boy or not. I refuse to support a man who isn't trying. Every couple runs into rough financial times (OK, the Romneys's haven't and most likely never will, as nether will others in their social and economic strata) but you get through the rough times together. My point was I wouldn't (like a LOT of my daughters' friends and even some of mine) support a guy who sits on the couch and plays stupid video games all day, and doesn't work, or gets wasted all the time and can't keep up.
There ARE good guys out there. One just has to adjust the "what I think I want" with "what is realistic" in a real man.
I don't know if I was understandable in this post. Sorry. I know what I want to say.
There are GOOD men. There are NO "perfect" men. Neither are there "perfect" women. You have to allow for a certain amount of "this may not be exactly what I thought I wanted when I was 17" along with "MOST of this is what works for me and him." less
I LIKE bad boys, but they have to be intelligent, caring and WORK! I said it when I was a teen, and I still think it now. No way, no how, would I support a man financially. My Man IS a "Bad Boy" but he's responsible, loving, caring (although it isn't always readily apparent to those who don't know him) and he has an education and a JOB! We are lucky that he's older and got established in his career before the Recession happened. But, I know, if things got bad (and I know they can) he'd work 3 part time jobs until a full time one came, if that's what it took.
My point is, bad boy or not. I refuse to support a man who isn't trying. Every couple runs into rough financial times (OK, the Romneys's haven't and most likely never will, as nether will others in their social and economic strata) but you get through the rough times together. My point was I wouldn't (like a LOT of my daughters' friends and even some of mine) support a guy who sits on the couch and plays stupid video games all day, and doesn't work, or gets wasted all the time and can't keep up.
There ARE good guys out there. One just has to adjust the "what I think I want" with "what is realistic" in a real man.
I don't know if I was understandable in this post. Sorry. I know what I want to say.
There are GOOD men. There are NO "perfect" men. Neither are there "perfect" women. You have to allow for a certain amount of "this may not be exactly what I thought I wanted when I was 17" along with "MOST of this is what works for me and him." less
05/07/2012
Quote:
Yep. (I returned your PM.) I don't bitch about My Man much. (OK, sometimes. It only makes sense.) But, I know women who do nothing BUT bitch about their men, and I think, "What are you doing with him then, if he's always doing everything wrong?"
Originally posted by
Chilipepper
Yeah, I understand what you mean. I find the stereotypes about guys frustrating, too. That was all the stuff I heard from friends and strangers whenever they bitched about men.
I find the stereotypes are rarely true.
Every man is different. None perfect (neither are we) many good.
05/07/2012
The fact that i am a feminist means i must want to dominate my man in the bed room when I really like to be cuffed and restrained and for once during my day not have to be in control of everything
05/09/2012
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 7