I like how to books because I can learn new techniques and information I may not have previously known from them. Generally my partner doesn't read how to books with me, however I'll read out loud or tell him about parts I find particularly interesting. I also really enjoyed how Violet Blue broke up some of the chapters with short erotic stories by Alison Tyler, I thought this was a really nice touch. Sometimes how to books can be a little dry, but the little bits of erotica helped to keep me interested less

It is a pretty comprehensive guide, isn't it? Was there anything in particular that you found helpful?

I'm always picking up self-help books of all kinds and skimming them or reading only select parts, but I found Violet's guides to be cover-to-cover reads. What did you think? less

I am a big Violet Blue fan, and both (well, honestly, all) of her books are on my reading list. While I am yet to read these, I do highly recommend sex how-to books. I've found them to be helpful in many ways:

1. Bringing up new ideas with a partner.
Sometimes it can be tricky navigating those waters, particularly in a new relationship. If you are shy about a subject or don't know how to ask for something new (telling someone they are bad at what they give you is an outright danger zone!), it can be easier to open the book and simply ask, "what do you think about this?"

2. Books can offer a missing link to the conversation you aren't having.
I've never been the kind of person that can talk candidly with my friends about sex (but strangers? no problem!). I feel that there is a lot that I am missing from that, ranging from anecdotes and on up to explanations of en vogue sexual terms. Alternately, sometimes you may have a partner that is just not vocal about what they want, and it can be very hard to improve or target their preferences without that communication. How-to books can offer that bridge.
When I was younger, I had trouble getting anywhere with my male partners--to them, everything was 'great'. But I could tell certain touches just did not ring as loudly as others. After research about mind-blowing handjobs, I knew what signs to look for, interesting maneuvers and also just the basic understanding that what works for one man may not work for another--it didn't mean I was 'doing it wrong', just that I needed to refocus. If a how-to book only offers you a sense of self-confidence in any arena you have questions with, that book has done its job.

3. I hardly need an excuse to read about sex.
I think about it all the time. I might as well read and try to pick up new tips. less

There were little blurbs throughout the book that included a male's perspective on different things. It also states in the Acknowledgments that "the book contains the voices of (literally) hundreds of people who responded to postings, queries, and a questionnaire. less

There were little blurbs throughout the book that included a male's perspective on different things. It also states in the Acknowledgments that "the book contains the voices of (literally) hundreds of people who responded to postings, queries, and a questionnaire. less