The Commandments of Sex Toys

Contributor: Tart Tart
Priceless! Thou shalt use caution when sharing your sex toys. You may get jealous!
11/27/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Ensure that the toys you wish to use are safe and effective for the desired purpose.
11/27/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
If thou storage doth require rearranging, thou shalt wait until night falls, lest visitors arrive to the sight of eighteen dildos upon thy bed.
11/27/2010
Contributor: leatherlover leatherlover
Quote:
Originally posted by OhMy!
This happened to us when looking for a home: "thou shalt not leave the sex toys out when showing the house to potential buyers." It was amusing, for sure, but we're guessing the owners were mortified.
Whoops! Hahaha.
11/27/2010
Contributor: cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
If thou storage doth require rearranging, thou shalt wait until night falls, lest visitors arrive to the sight of eighteen dildos upon thy bed.
Lol good one!


Thou shall make sure all toys are out of view before one's mother comes to visit.

Thou shall make sure all lubrication and dildos are removed from the shower before company arrives.

Thou shall make sure rechargeable vibes are charged before every use.
11/27/2010
Contributor: Destri Destri
Thou shall drink plenty of water, so that you will not get a leg cramp at the moment of orgasm.

These are all just so funny!
11/27/2010
Contributor: fghjkl fghjkl
bahaha! This thread is amazing.

Thou shall always review a super good find so that others can join in on the fun
11/27/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Be aware of lube compatibility issues, both with the toys, yourself and your partner.
11/28/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by fghjkl
bahaha! This thread is amazing.

Thou shall always review a super good find so that others can join in on the fun
To go with that one..

Thou shall also write reviews on the bad ones so others may be warned.
11/28/2010
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
This one hasn't happened yet, but I could see it happening.... easily.

Thou shalt make sure EF is NOT on the screen when your parents Skype you, lest your child accidentally hits "share" and they see your latest review about tribbing with a Fleshlight.
11/28/2010
Contributor: fghjkl fghjkl
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
To go with that one..

Thou shall also write reviews on the bad ones so others may be warned.
Yes! Agreed
11/28/2010
Contributor: ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
This one hasn't happened yet, but I could see it happening.... easily.

Thou shalt make sure EF is NOT on the screen when your parents Skype you, lest your child accidentally hits "share" and they see your latest review about ... more
Wow, now there's a terrifying thought. *goes off to kill Skype with fire*

(On a side note, did you write a review about tribbing with a Fleshlight? Sounds intriguing.)
11/28/2010
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
Wow, now there's a terrifying thought. *goes off to kill Skype with fire*

(On a side note, did you write a review about tribbing with a Fleshlight? Sounds intriguing.)
Re: your side note.... not yet.... waiting for the bastard TOM to leave so I can get all cleaned up and give her (Tera Patrick, that is...) a go...

Oh, and no one better steal my idea... I already posted on Dwtim's FL review that I was going to try this... for scientific and review purposes... of course!
11/28/2010
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Re: your side note.... not yet.... waiting for the bastard TOM to leave so I can get all cleaned up and give her (Tera Patrick, that is...) a go...

Oh, and no one better steal my idea... I already posted on Dwtim's FL review that ... more
In fact, I think I'm going to go do some "research" now....
11/28/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
In fact, I think I'm going to go do some "research" now....
Better hurry, this subject has been talked about for about two months.
link
11/28/2010
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Quote:
Originally posted by J's Alley
Thou shalt not leave flavored lube in the kids bathrooms.

If said child rubs the "pretty lotion" all over herself thou shat take a photo then bathe her.
Baha! Hilarious.

These commandments are gold, I'm dying laughing.
12/06/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Be careful about your reviews and research, period. It's pretty easy to see histories or bookmarks.
12/06/2010
Contributor: socceras socceras
Thou shalt not carry their vibrators around in their purse all the time because they will go off unexpectedly
12/09/2010
Contributor: sixfootsex sixfootsex
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGeek
If thou storage doth require rearranging, thou shalt wait until night falls, lest visitors arrive to the sight of eighteen dildos upon thy bed.
BAHAHAHA! This is my favorite.
02/09/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Research
Thou shalt make sure the damn door is locked.

Sheesh.
Lol I agree completely..
02/17/2011
Contributor: charcat charcat
This thread is hilarious.
05/07/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Matheri89
So I'm new here, and since the community has been very welcoming so far, I wanted to stimulate (see what I did there?) some discussion.

I know there are some rules you follow after experience with toys. Some are based on experience, ... more
Buy only high tech, expensive toys that feature touch PADS, not buttons as lube goes under buttons and ruins toys. Keypads might get slippery, but wipe off just fine.
05/29/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Thou shalt NOT stick items up your ass that could be shoved completely up your ass. Length is not an excuse and will not guarrantee that your hungry ass won't munch an entire 11 inch cucumber.

Thou shalt confine anal play to items ... more
AMEN sister. YOU know your stuff.
05/29/2011
Contributor: Ms. Indulgence Ms. Indulgence
Thou shalt NOT buzz your partner's clit to complete numbness just cause she makes funny faces when she's tied up.

Thou shalt stop anal penetration at the first ouch...not three minutes later!

I like those 2 :p
06/26/2011
Contributor: travelnurse travelnurse
Thous shalt make sure that the legally blind husband doesn't have bio freeze next to the bed by the lubes
07/05/2012
Contributor: Two Grand Two Grand
Thou shall make sure to remove all toys from the dishwasher before breakfast, so that the kids will not play with their new toy found there.
07/17/2012