What's the best way for a woman to introduce sex toys to her man in bed? - from Em and Lo

Bullets can be pretty versatile, which is why they're my beginner's toy of choice whether it be for solo or couple's play. My boyfriend actually bought me my first set of double bullets, which didn't last a year. I think that shopping together for the toy would definitely help keep lines of communication open to stop any envy or "toy intimidation" in its tracks.

To raise the topic? "Hey, honey! This website's got an awesome sale on vibrators!"

What can I say? We value a good deal

Vibrating cock rings?

The We-vibe has gotten great reviews as well.

If you are just introducing toys into play, and are nervous about it, I'd start talking about what new things he might like. Then go into what new things you might like. You try one of his, then he tries yours [the toy introduction].

"Hey wow! Look at this website... If you review sex toys you can get toys for free. I didn't even know that existed, I wonder what that does or feels like. Look at all of those movies. Would you like to see me in some of that lingerie?"

About that.

Bullets are a great place to start because they can't be seen as a "replacement" like perhaps a dildo or a traditional vibrator can. They are also fairly inexpensive as a first toy to try. I like the Cal Ex High Intensity Bullet because it's simple, has three speeds and is powerful, if you need it. I also love the Xtreme Pack G-spot Bulletwhich has 5 speeds plus different patterns for experimenting with all kinds of options to find what works best.

I would totally get him to help pick out a toy online. In fact, I'd let him sit in the driver seat and explore what looks interesting to him. If he finds a toy that looks exciting to try, to him, odds are he won't also view it as competition.

Like Cyn, I'd probably find a website (like Eden Fantasys ) that I wanted to shop with and then bring it to his attention with something like pointing out the sales. You could even bring up you found a website that will send you different things to try out for free, in exchange for writing a review on what you thought about it, which is a novelty all by itself and a great way to learn about what you do and don't like.

I agree with a bullet. They are very non-threatening. Even a basic vibrator that doesn't look anything remotely real is a good starting toy.

I think if he's open to it, shopping online together is the way to go. If he really doesn't mind, buying a simple one and surprising him with it can also work well.

I wouldn't mention sales as a starting point, simply because mine knows what "sale" means . I might rent a movie that had some toy use before sex and say that I thought that might be fun while we were watching to see what his reaction would be.

I already had a toy box when I met my ex and it was introduced with a smile and a wink. He was aware they were available for use, but he never did. I think he was categorically too narrow-minded to consider using them on me.

I buy non-realistic toys with funky colors hoping to reduce my next boyfriend's possible feeling of being in competition with toys. I can climax without the toys, but they are a lot of fun. They're part of my sexuality, and I think it's just lame that a guy won't take advantage of it.

I've had no problems using a direct approach. "This is a vibrator. I want to use it while we have sex. Okay?" The first toy I introduced my current boyfriend to was a simple unbranded pocket rocket, which is the only toy that gets me off consistently during sex. He's been totally cool with incorporating any of my other (many) toys into our sessions since then.

I'd have a major problem sleeping with a guy who was not okay with me using a vibrator during sex. I can't get off anywhere near as quickly or easily while receiving oral or manual stimulation, and there is no other way for me to get off during PIV sex. Any guy who says no to vibrators is saying no to simultaneous orgasm with me-- and wouldn't that suck?

Start out small. Bullets, pocket rockets. Tiny things. If you come at him with a vibrator that makes him look like a vienna sausage in comparison he will be intimidated unless he's into size play.

I'm lucky that I can orgasm from most sex acts without a vibrator, but I do like having things used on me as well.

I would start with something small. Tell my partner I want to put a show on for them and start solo then bring the toy into the mix