We are regular church going Catholics - I know a lot of hard-core christian denominations don't even consider Catholics 'christian' - but let's assume they are just misinformed - at least we consider ourselves christian.

If you go to a church social event you will usually see alcohol being consumed and dancing going on. My wife grew p in the south where dry counties and dance prohibitions have their roots in conservative christian denominations like the Baptists.

When it comes to sex - modern Catholic churches tend to ignore everything but premarital sex and homosexuality. Even these are rarely discussed. As a loving monogamous couple, we see no conflict between our sex life and religion. less

What's wrong with porn? You can watch it simply as a voyeur without lusting over or coveting the porn actors. Some people can argue that fantasizing being involved in a pornographic scenario is moral as long as you don't actually intend to commit adultery. Porn can stimulate a couple's sexual creativity or help improve technique. less

I probably shouldn't have posted this thread - its just I think of so many woman I know who are where I was a few weeks ago...and I'm trying to figure out how to reach out to them and help them (as one member on here particularly helped me privately) - and I guess I'm just trying to sort through some of what I believe/don't believe. less

I probably shouldn't have posted this thread - its just I think of so many woman I know who are where I was a few weeks ago...and I'm trying to figure out how to reach out to them and help them (as one member on here particularly helped me privately) - and I guess I'm just trying to sort through some of what I believe/don't believe. less

Potentially explosive subject any way you slice it. Have you seen the movie Red State? It explores the triumvirate of Politics, Religion, & Sex, where a Christian group abducts and kills people for their sexual behavior. I think Arkansas was depicted, but the same mindsets can be found in any of the southern, conservative, Christian states.

I can't imagine you being able to find acceptance in any church, if you were to try to convince them that sex toys, or oral sex (oral sodomy, still technically illegal in Texas I believe), or bondage, or masturbation, or pegging (sodomy by instrumentation) is consistent with Christ's view. It is very easy for me to envision you being ostracized, or worse.

After all, one of the staples of the reviews we do is to describe how discreet an item is and if it isn't, how do you store it to keep visitors (fellow church members?) from seeing them. Why? Because we know there are social consequences for this type of sexual freedom

Scarier thought, given the format on which we are having this discussion, in Red State the Christian group targeted and lured its victims through the places they talked about sex on the internet.

Before I registered at EF, I seriously considered the danger I could be in for living where there is a high concentration of those kinds of people and talking as openly as I intended to on this site. I chose (before seeing Red State) to risk it for my own mental and physical health. Even had the same thoughts, fears and conclusions about responding to this discussion.

To answer your original question, I'm afraid you'll have to keep separation between Church and bedroom, unless you intend to return to your previous, very vanilla, sexual lifestyle. less

I probably shouldn't have posted this thread - its just I think of so many woman I know who are where I was a few weeks ago...and I'm trying to figure out how to reach out to them and help them (as one member on here particularly helped me privately) - and I guess I'm just trying to sort through some of what I believe/don't believe. less

What the FUCK is wrong with this "Red State" organization? Harming people for activities in their own homes. Big Brother is here, and he isn't from the Left. I can assure you that.

This scares the shit outta me. But, it isn't going to stop me. They have my vibrator when can pry it from my cold dead.... never mind. less

What's wrong with porn? You can watch it simply as a voyeur without lusting over or coveting the porn actors. Some people can argue that fantasizing being involved in a pornographic scenario is moral as long as you don't actually intend to commit adultery. Porn can stimulate a couple's sexual creativity or help improve technique. less

yea I agree u can watch porn and be close to God...just dont watch the ones against your faith like lesbians and gay. you can watch porn just be more conserevative and u can watch without lusting after people. nothing wrong with admiring hot bodies and how its nice for anyone to be fit and be blessed with good looks but just dont lust and be happy with yourself and your life. love is the cake and sex is just the icing on the cake if you focus on living the right way the best you can then surely you will be relaxed and happy and bedroom activities will be awsome. just get closer to God let the holy spirit help you out alot and you will be fine. less

I was not saying that folks should not watch porn. I stated that "for us" we felt uncomfortable with the idea.

I may be sharing more in another thread later - but I never meant to imply that people shouldn't watch porn and if anyone felt judged - I apologize! less

I probably will regret asking, but why would porn with lesbians and gay men "be against" anyone's faith? (I mean, if someone doesn't like porn, I respect that, but I don't see what "faith" has to do with a lot of it.) There is NO mention of prohibitions against GLBT behavior in the New Testament, and if one is going by the Old Testament, then things like eating pork or shellfish or having a toilet within 40 paces of where you eat and sleep is just as much of an "abomination" ; ; as GLBT behavior. Not to mention (*gasp*) wearing clothing material with two different fabrics in it. An abomination, it's called. At this very minute, I have on a top and blue jeans made from cotton and spandex. Would someone find my outfit an "abomination?" Just asking.

NOBODY follows Deuteronomy and Leviticus to the letter in our society. If so, you could have slaves and rape women and have as many wives as you can support (as long as you are a man) and all kinds of things. less

I probably will regret asking, but why would porn with lesbians and gay men "be against" anyone's faith? (I mean, if someone doesn't like porn, I respect that, but I don't see what "faith" has to do with a lot of it.) There is NO mention of prohibitions against GLBT behavior in the New Testament, and if one is going by the Old Testament, then things like eating pork or shellfish or having a toilet within 40 paces of where you eat and sleep is just as much of an "abomination" ; ; as GLBT behavior. Not to mention (*gasp*) wearing clothing material with two different fabrics in it. An abomination, it's called. At this very minute, I have on a top and blue jeans made from cotton and spandex. Would someone find my outfit an "abomination?" Just asking.

NOBODY follows Deuteronomy and Leviticus to the letter in our society. If so, you could have slaves and rape women and have as many wives as you can support (as long as you are a man) and all kinds of things. less

I probably will regret asking, but why would porn with lesbians and gay men "be against" anyone's faith? (I mean, if someone doesn't like porn, I respect that, but I don't see what "faith" has to do with a lot of it.) There is NO mention of prohibitions against GLBT behavior in the New Testament, and if one is going by the Old Testament, then things like eating pork or shellfish or having a toilet within 40 paces of where you eat and sleep is just as much of an "abomination" ; ; as GLBT behavior. Not to mention (*gasp*) wearing clothing material with two different fabrics in it. An abomination, it's called. At this very minute, I have on a top and blue jeans made from cotton and spandex. Would someone find my outfit an "abomination?" Just asking.

NOBODY follows Deuteronomy and Leviticus to the letter in our society. If so, you could have slaves and rape women and have as many wives as you can support (as long as you are a man) and all kinds of things. less

Potentially explosive subject any way you slice it. Have you seen the movie Red State? It explores the triumvirate of Politics, Religion, & Sex, where a Christian group abducts and kills people for their sexual behavior. I think Arkansas was depicted, but the same mindsets can be found in any of the southern, conservative, Christian states.

I can't imagine you being able to find acceptance in any church, if you were to try to convince them that sex toys, or oral sex (oral sodomy, still technically illegal in Texas I believe), or bondage, or masturbation, or pegging (sodomy by instrumentation) is consistent with Christ's view. It is very easy for me to envision you being ostracized, or worse.

After all, one of the staples of the reviews we do is to describe how discreet an item is and if it isn't, how do you store it to keep visitors (fellow church members?) from seeing them. Why? Because we know there are social consequences for this type of sexual freedom

Scarier thought, given the format on which we are having this discussion, in Red State the Christian group targeted and lured its victims through the places they talked about sex on the internet.

Before I registered at EF, I seriously considered the danger I could be in for living where there is a high concentration of those kinds of people and talking as openly as I intended to on this site. I chose (before seeing Red State) to risk it for my own mental and physical health. Even had the same thoughts, fears and conclusions about responding to this discussion.

To answer your original question, I'm afraid you'll have to keep separation between Church and bedroom, unless you intend to return to your previous, very vanilla, sexual lifestyle. less

I agree with TexasMama. I am a conservative Christian and often have difficulty reconciling my conservative upbringing with my sexual exploration. I'd love to talk to you about it sometime.

I certainly DO NOT want to debate anyone about homosexuality. I simply wish to clarify that the New Testament does, indeed, talk about homosexuality. Two passages of Scripture: Romans 1:24-28 and I Corinthians 6:9-11.

I am only adding this as a reference, not to fuel any type of debate. less

No no no no, Texas Mama. Part of your growth is to say what is on your mind! Being FREE is difficult, but it's what our country is about.

I admire you for being open about your previous "prudery" as you called it. I admire your strength and bravery in talking about this issue and others.

I really feel that Eden NEEDS women like you to be open, be ready to learn and NOT to be afraid.

We're here for you.

You did the right thing in posting this. Never is everyone always going to agree with you, but often you will help people to think. You have every right to post what you feel.

You made the right decision.

Hugs and Love,

P'Gell less

I agree with TexasMama. I am a conservative Christian and often have difficulty reconciling my conservative upbringing with my sexual exploration. I'd love to talk to you about it sometime.

I certainly DO NOT want to debate anyone about homosexuality. I simply wish to clarify that the New Testament does, indeed, talk about homosexuality. Two passages of Scripture: Romans 1:24-28 and I Corinthians 6:9-11.

I am only adding this as a reference, not to fuel any type of debate. less

For example, my parents are highly against the gay community as a whole. This includes the entire GLBQT community. Well, more the GLBQ than anything else.

That taken into account, you'd have to look at it as: you would be viewing porn surrounding something you are highly against.

Think of it this way. An animal activist highly against beastiality may love porn, but throw a sheep in there and they will be disgusted and disturbed.

If your particular religious beliefs (which is not based necessarily on what is written but what you feel yourself) state that anything but being 'straight' is wrong, you won't want to view gay porn.

At least, that's my take on it less

I agree with TexasMama. I am a conservative Christian and often have difficulty reconciling my conservative upbringing with my sexual exploration. I'd love to talk to you about it sometime.

I certainly DO NOT want to debate anyone about homosexuality. I simply wish to clarify that the New Testament does, indeed, talk about homosexuality. Two passages of Scripture: Romans 1:24-28 and I Corinthians 6:9-11.

I am only adding this as a reference, not to fuel any type of debate. less

First of all - thanks to everyone who has posted. I appreciate your comments and all that you have shared. I honestly don't want to get into the homosexuality debate as I know what I believe but it really has nothing to do what how this thread affects my life.

Ok - I guess I'll post more here and maybe y'all can understand my struggle a bit better.

My earliest experiences of masturbation probably are from when I was 10 or so - maybe younger - maybe not. I can't remember for sure. But somehow, I discovered that it felt good - that I could do it for a few minutes - feel something awesome and then a couple of minutes later start over again and feel good again. I realize now that I was having orgasms and that I could probably orgasm at least 5 times each session.

Unfortunately - if my mother caught me - she would whip the tar out of me. It was "bad" - I was "bad". (I was adopted and many things that she thought were me being rebellious were simply me having different genetics than her and liking different things. For instance - I don't decorate my home anything like she does - but my birthmom and I have many of the same decorations. This was in the 60's and to my mom - these differences were me being rebellious because the way she was brought up - you do follow in your parent's footsteps. Now that I know more about her homelife - I understand her better).

No one ever talked to me about sex. So masturbating was pretty much it - until two things happened that affected my beliefs/understanding.

One was that we were at someone's house for supper and afterwards - "us girls" went upstairs to their room to read/play. I picked up a book that they'd been reading - I think it was called "Raped" - while the other girls were reading magazines or whatever. The sex scene in there was burned in my mind from what I read - and from then on - whenever I masturbated - that was what I would think about...the rape scene.

Also - at some point in time - I was watching an episode of "The Young and the Restless" where a character was almost raped and it was like "wow". She was tied down and stuff and well - I can't even remember all of it. I'd seen a rape scene on "Guiding Light" - but it was very very vague and nothing like this at all.

Then I get married...and what is in my mind? Well - orgasms are bad - that means you're bad. Sex = Force and rape.

For those first few years much of our sex was role-playing rape and/or slave girl situations - you get the idea.

Now - I am not saying that role-playing is wrong - please bear with me.

Fast forward now 30 years. Our sex life is taking off again due to sex-toys. I'm learning (or perhaps I should say - understanding) that I am multi-orgasmic. Instead of sex being 20 minutes once a week - it is now becoming 45 minutes twice a day - largely because I am the one wanting it. My husband is thrilled - but having a bit of a hard time keeping up as far as needing it that much for himself.

We do a bit of roleplay (because that's what we did when we were younger) - only come to find out - he's not as much into it as I am.

See - he's from an abusive home where violence came with discipline. He has bad memories of beatings - and of how his dad treated his mom.

What he wants - is sex with an "equal" partner. Sure - a bit of role-play is ok - but he wants it to be thought of as "fun" and not "wow - I have to go home now and she's gonna want me to talk to her about punishing her."

Add to all that this forum - where I read about women who don't have orgasms.

I have sat and cried sometimes when I think about the women on this forum who don't have orgasms when I have them so easy. I get horny just from car rides if they're longer than an hour - and trust me - that is NOT comfortable.

This morning - finally - my husband literally wore me out. It only took about 2 weeks of sex twice a day for me to finally feel like I could go without wanting another orgasm. As I laid in his arms later and we talked, I realized just how much my sexual identity had been made up by the beliefs of orgasms being bad (from my mother beating me for masturbation) to the various scenes I'd read or seen.

I don't want to watch porn because of what those scenes did to my mind and what they did to my expectations of what sex "should" be like. I don't want to fantasize about someone else - I want to fantasize about how good it feels when my husband and I play - about how certain things bring me to orgasm again and again and again.

In addition - much of the stuff that is out there (I think - I don't know for sure) has to do with what might be "role play" - which is fine for others. Just - knowing that the background I have and my husband has - it isn't what we want for us. That doesn't mean we don't want to learn about positions, etc. I've learned a lot from this forum and a few members on here.

One member in particular (and she should know who she is) really reached out to me when I first joined. She made me feel comfortable and shared that she too is a Christian. She shared positions with me and was open in recommending specific products due to my weight and size. I am not sure that I would have stuck around for long if she hadn't shared with me.

In the Christian religion - or least the part I am from - the older women "mentor" the younger women (or should). In our society we don't do that like we used to. But I'll never forget having been married about 10 years and being with our pastor's wife and another female. The pastor and his wife were newlyweds and she asked the two of us about oral sex. My mouth dropped. I mean seriously - I was brought up that you never discuss these things. I think my answer was something like "Whatever the two of you like is up to you."

I want to be open to helping other women if they ask me in a private setting about sex. Its something that isn't discussed in our churches and many women wonder about it. I mean - even on this forum where folks are open-minded there are still women who struggle to have orgasms. What do I say or do if another woman comes to me and says, "I'm struggling in my marriage and need to talk to someone"?

I finally accepted this morning that I am multi-orgasmic and that I can be on by the count of three if we're using the bullet. I can have my first orgasm within about 2 minutes and I can orgasm 15 times or so and then turn around and want to do the same thing again a few hours later. I can be this way and not feel guilty about it (well, I'm still struggling with that).

I found a site for Christian Nymphos and I'm hoping I'll find a bit more help there for how I can be available to help other women. I wanted to write a blog - from a Christian perspective - on how a woman can be sexy and happy AND still have her faith.

Once again - thanks for all y'all have shared. I hope I've helped to explain where I was coming from. (Now to decide whether or not to do a blog). less