We recently had a reader over on EMandLO.com complain that she enjoyed her vibrator much more than her boyfriend's touch, i.e. she was able to orgasm much more easily with her battery-operated friend. So what advice would you give anyone in that situation?
How Can You Enjoy Your Partner as Much as Your Sex Toy? - from Em and Lo
10/07/2010
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I'm the same way. I've never climaxed from a man's touch or penis alone, unless there's a toy nearby helping out. For a while, I thought something was wrong with me, until I started reading the statistics. For any man to think that his touch alone is all a woman will ever need is ignorant and selfish. If he is one of the few whose partner can climax with just his parts, he is one of the EXTREMELY lucky ones. I'd suggest she try to incorporate her toy into sex play with him, that's what I did. It did takes some time to psychologically "fuse" the two together, but it works, it just takes more concentration with my partner there. If her boyfriend is unreceptive to that, or very jealous of the toys, I'd say, find a new boyfriend! An ex of mine asked me to stop playing with toys because he thought I was desensitized to his touch. I told him that I was having sex before I ever found toys, and I never orgasmed. Toys liberated me and I was keeping them. He, however, had to go.
10/07/2010
Exactly. If she incorporates the 2 it would help a lot.
10/07/2010
And I'd like to add that I've begun reading the book "Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality" by Gail Dines (I believe it was you, Em&LO, that mentioned it our here). It's a great read so far!
Anyhow, it's no wonder that some men think their touch is all we need! How often do you see in porn a woman and her partner using sex toys together? A cock ring? Something on her clit? Not often, if at all! They just show the man pounding her pussy or ass until she supposedly "cums". If some men are influenced by porn early on in their sexual discoveries, they are going to be very disappointed with a real woman and how hard it might be to help her find what works for her.
Anyhow, it's no wonder that some men think their touch is all we need! How often do you see in porn a woman and her partner using sex toys together? A cock ring? Something on her clit? Not often, if at all! They just show the man pounding her pussy or ass until she supposedly "cums". If some men are influenced by porn early on in their sexual discoveries, they are going to be very disappointed with a real woman and how hard it might be to help her find what works for her.
10/07/2010
I agree that incorporating the two together would be helpful. I can orgasm from my husband's touch only but it takes quite a while and it's not always as strong. It goes a lot quicker if he uses a toy on me and I can definitely say that my orgasm with toys are far stronger if he uses them on me than if I use them alone. He knows how to manipulate them to give me more pleasure and moves them in ways I often don't. So, while the toy plays a role in it it's also my husband's movements of the toy and his skill in knowing what makes my body tick that makes it as awesome as it is.
10/07/2010
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