If a person uses toys, is the person still a virgin?

If a person uses toys, is the person still a virgin?

aphroditelady aphroditelady
In your opinion, if a girl uses let's say, a dildo - and breaks her hymen, is she still a virgin? In my opinion, yes. I've actually only used toys, still a virgin, but can handle more advanced/bigger ones as well. I consider myself a virgin. What do you think? Are people who technically took their own virginity "virgins"?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, they are a virgin until they experience the real thing.
216  (88%)
No, they are not a virgin anymore because their hymen is gone.
7  (3%)
No, they are not a virgin anymore for other reasons (explain)
2  (1%)
Other (explain)
20  (8%)
Total votes: 245
Poll is closed
04/03/2011
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pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by aphroditelady
In your opinion, if a girl uses let's say, a dildo - and breaks her hymen, is she still a virgin? In my opinion, yes. I've actually only used toys, still a virgin, but can handle more advanced/bigger ones as well. I consider myself a virgin. ...
I would consider her a virgin still Maybe not in medical terms? I don't know. But as far as sexually.
04/03/2011
aphroditelady aphroditelady
Quote:
Originally posted by pinkzombie
I would consider her a virgin still Maybe not in medical terms? I don't know. But as far as sexually.
That's what I thought. Some may not even be born with a hymen, and you can't say that she isn't a virgin just because of that.
04/03/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
Quote:
Originally posted by pinkzombie
I would consider her a virgin still Maybe not in medical terms? I don't know. But as far as sexually.
I really don't think there is such a thing as "medical virginity" I'm not gonna go into my whole rant on virginity here (I'm editing a post for edencafe, on the subject), but it is much more complicated than the presence or lack of a hymen.
04/03/2011
Jimbo Jones Jimbo Jones
I'm going to say that there are two different aspects to "virginity". A physical aspect and an emotional/psychologica l aspect. In my opinion, the physical aspect of the hymen being broken is the lesser part of being a virgin as many women's hymens are broken without really meaning to. The emotional/psychologica l aspect of having sex with another person is the more important consideration.
04/03/2011
(Re)tired Stripper (Re)tired Stripper
I think virginity is a crazy concept. Are lifelong lesbians virgins? Does using a tampon make you a non-virgin, or "less of a virgin" perhaps?

Hymen remnants are sometimes found when a woman gives birth!

It's a concept I don't like because it--in my opinion--promotes patriarchy. I like "The Purity Myth" as a good read on the topic, though I don't know how I feel about the book yet.

Astutite comments, folks, by the way.

Interesting question, thanks for the original post

This is a touchy subject for me, too.
04/03/2011
REDRUM REDRUM
I think losing your virginity is more of a psychological thing.
The status of your virginity should be determined by you. Not society, or certain physical standards. Besides, it's none of the worlds business whether your a virgin or not.

To me, losing your virginity is experiencing an intimate moment with another individual.
04/03/2011
Solar Ray Solar Ray
Yes of course. I don't think a toy being used makes you a non-virgin but as others ave said it's a personal thing rather than a black and white thing I suppose.
04/03/2011
bunny love bunny love
Quote:
Originally posted by (Re)tired Stripper
I think virginity is a crazy concept. Are lifelong lesbians virgins? Does using a tampon make you a non-virgin, or "less of a virgin" perhaps?



Hymen remnants are sometimes found when a woman gives ...
I totally agree that virginity is a ridiculous concept.

I'm in the "other" camp. Virginity has a hazy definition that varies from social group to social group. Hell, I still don't know what people mean when they say they "hooked up." Did you have oral sex? Penetrative sex? Meet up for coffee and muffins?

I'd rather people just say, "I haven't done XYZ" or "I have done XYZ." It's far more accurate.
04/04/2011
Bunnycups Bunnycups
A girl can break her hymen riding a bike. You don't lose your virginity by riding a bike, playing with sex toys, or eating waffles. You lose your virginity by having sex.
04/04/2011
hornypoet69 hornypoet69
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
A girl can break her hymen riding a bike. You don't lose your virginity by riding a bike, playing with sex toys, or eating waffles. You lose your virginity by having sex.
Just got an image of my head of someone eating waffles during sex. I'm weird, I know.
04/04/2011
MnWolf MnWolf
The pure definition of " Virgin " ... From Websters... "a person who has never had sexual intercourse."

Now, this also imply s that the sexual intercourse is between male and female. There is no concept of thought that two females could take another females virginity. Just part of the day and age that we live in sad to say.

A lot of people will say for a female, they are till they have a real live penis inside them. The same people will say a guy is only a virgin will he has sex with a female. As, this is what was thought of when the term was first defined. It all comes down to the fact of how you feel. Like the others have said the hymen can be broke many different ways, heck.. some females are lucky and not even born with one or a lot less of one.
04/04/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
In my opinion - if it isn't alive, it doesn't count!
04/04/2011
PersonalAngel PersonalAngel
you can lose the hymen with many things like horseback riding.
04/04/2011
Liz2 Liz2
I broke my hymen long before I had sex in sports and masturbated as well. I considered myself a virgin until I had actual sex.
04/04/2011
indiglo indiglo
To me, you lose your virginity when you choose to have a sexual experience with another person (regardless of gender). It is not the act of putting something into your vagina, it is a sexual act with another person. It is kind of a hard thing to define, and I think too many people define it too narrowly. Interesting, never the less!
04/04/2011
M121212 M121212
I think people can choose for themselves whether they can take their own virginity or not.
04/04/2011
aphroditelady aphroditelady
Interesting views, guys.
04/04/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by aphroditelady
In your opinion, if a girl uses let's say, a dildo - and breaks her hymen, is she still a virgin? In my opinion, yes. I've actually only used toys, still a virgin, but can handle more advanced/bigger ones as well. I consider myself a virgin. ...
Medically speaking, the hymen is not the determining factor in virginity. Having sex with an other person, almost always with penetration IS.

IMO, (which people can choose to disagree with or not) those who play with toys and have not had some kind of penetrative sexual play with an other person are still virgins. It's like saying a guy who jerks off isn't a virgin anymore, even if he's never had a female or male lover. He still is. Using a penetrative toy is no different, as the hymen really means nothing.
04/04/2011
PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
I feel like you have to be with a person for your virginity to be taken. However, with a partner, the definitions of virginity are foggy.
04/04/2011
aphroditelady aphroditelady
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Medically speaking, the hymen is not the determining factor in virginity. Having sex with an other person, almost always with penetration IS.



IMO, (which people can choose to disagree with or not) those who play with toys and have not ...
Thank you so much for this. You took the words right out of my mouth. People always argued with me that since someone uses toys, they aren't a virgin anymore. Great example!
04/04/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by aphroditelady
Thank you so much for this. You took the words right out of my mouth. People always argued with me that since someone uses toys, they aren't a virgin anymore. Great example!
Glad to help.
04/04/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by hornypoet69
Just got an image of my head of someone eating waffles during sex. I'm weird, I know.
LOL! My husband keeps joking that he wants to eat bacon while having sex. "The two best things in the world together." I keep saying NO! No bacon in bed.

That man...
04/04/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by aphroditelady
Thank you so much for this. You took the words right out of my mouth. People always argued with me that since someone uses toys, they aren't a virgin anymore. Great example!
Also, I strongly encourage you to continue to use your toys for sexual gratification and experience. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, so until you find the person who makes you feel absolutely wonderful and you want to share the wonder of sex with, it's totally cool to keep using your toys in any manner you see as best.



(Of course, using toys after you start having partnered sex is great, too! I'd encourage that, as well.)
04/04/2011
Leila Eden Leila Eden
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Medically speaking, the hymen is not the determining factor in virginity. Having sex with an other person, almost always with penetration IS.



IMO, (which people can choose to disagree with or not) those who play with toys and have not ...
I SO agree with you, P'Gell! Thank you for bringing up how male masturbation is not seen as an equivalent for losing virginity! The biggest discussions about virginity is always focused on a woman being penetrated and that's sexist to me!
04/04/2011
bunny love bunny love
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
LOL! My husband keeps joking that he wants to eat bacon while having sex. "The two best things in the world together." I keep saying NO! No bacon in bed.



That man...
Clearly the solution is to have sex in the kitchen!
04/10/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by bunny love
Clearly the solution is to have sex in the kitchen!
LOL! He'd like that. He's always humping me while I am at the counter or the stove.
04/10/2011
Fuck it. Fuck it.
The concept of virginity is out dated and valued a little too much. In my head, you're a virgin until you have what you define as sex with another person.
04/14/2011
aphroditelady aphroditelady
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Also, I strongly encourage you to continue to use your toys for sexual gratification and experience. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, so until you find the person who makes you feel absolutely wonderful and you want to share the wonder ...
As if I'd stop.
04/14/2011
nicole07 nicole07
Quote:
Originally posted by Fuck it.
The concept of virginity is out dated and valued a little too much. In my head, you're a virgin until you have what you define as sex with another person.
I agree with you!
04/14/2011
Total posts: 123
Unique posters: 106