Hi, I was raped in February 2006 and i went thru counseling and a support group, i moved outta state the following yr and had 2 babies/got married. im married and have 2 toddlers.

I still think about it every Feb. 13 which sucks because I enjoy Valentines Day with my hubby and kids the next day and if my hubby tries to have time alone that nite of 13th i like get upset and tell him i cant =[ he knows ive been raped b4 i met him but he doesnt know the date. i use to have bad flashbacks and nightmares. Because of it getting to me and making me upset if i think about it, i gotta call police station back in September to talk to the police officer who did the full police report that night, and see if he would be willing to make me a copy of it because i lost mine. im praying he will say he can and will meet me at police station with it.

here is my blog (not about EF) about my story if you would like to read it, follow my blog and leave a comment if u want just to let me know if my story helps u know u arent alone.

link

Yes, that is quite different from my experience. I didn't ALLOW it to affect my life and I really wouldn't say that any rape survivior ALLOWED it. That makes it seem almost like the chose it, they let it. It isn't always something you can stop. Not everyone is traumatized after it, but I think when a 15 year old girl is drugged and beaten to the point of nearly being dead and raped, it isn't something she allows to scare her or affect other relationships. I also think maybe with abuse added it makes things harder. Not everyone goes through a PTSD episode, but some do feel terrible after it. Nobody could ever want those types of things to affect their lives, but it happens. I don't think it's a matter of one person being stronger than the other or one just deciding it won't bother her. Nobody wants to remember the date, but it isn't something every woman can help.

I'm sorry for you, so much. It's terrible I know. My "anniversary" I really hate calling it that, but I can't think of another word. Anyways, was 6 days ago and I can say it IS the hardest thing I've ever been through! So you're doing therapy? I never did. Maybe I should've. I do have a wonderful support system, my partner and I have written a "letter" going into details and kind of letting HIM know what I think, then I burn it. I've done that very many times and it's relieving! I wouldn't mind hearing how therapy goes though. Is it really helpful? I'll be taking a psychology and hypnotherapy class this year when I graduate with my writing and one reason is for that. I want to help myself, I guess.

I do hate that this happens to so many people.

"RAPE IS THE ONLY CRIME IN WHICH THE VICTIM BECOMES THE ACCUSED."
-Freda Adler.

Isn't that so true! Sad, but true.

Aw. I'm very sorry. I know exactly what you mean about flashbacks! I wondered how common those were. I still have some of the worst nightmares of my life! Lol how sweet of your husband. Instead of beating mine, I wake him crying or yelling when I have the nightmares. Maybe I need to break bad and starting hitting! Lol. I agree with the trust thing. I never did deal with my issue, like you I put mine totally out until he came along shortly after and I had an awful panic attack when he got touchy and I was OK with it. I totally didn't expect to react that way, but when I did I ended up telling him after he showed so much concern. He's been very good with it ever since. It makes things much, much easier. I honestly think I would've turned crazy if he wasn't there to make me stop panicking. Then again, I seen the rapist about a year later and my partner was in the gas station and I had another panic attack. This was only the 2nd time I'd saw him and the first time was when he did the bad thing. But I freaked and when my partner came out and asked what was wrong I told him and... well... there was confrontation... Thank God he couldn't have known which girl my partner was confronting him over since he'd done it to 2 other women as well. If not more!

Really? Did you see a therapist or something. I'm sorry to say this, but I once realized THE-RAPIST also spells therapist. It creeps me out. I ended up writing a story about it. The title was THE-RAPIST. You can probably guess how it goes, but it was published. Anyways, I wondered if getting help would be any helpful. My partner has brought it up, but I've always been very scared! I don't tell people I know unless we are extremely close. The internet's great. You can discuss things like that and not feel like they think different of you, even if they secretly do. Lol.

Do you think it would do any good to get help even 5 years later? I guess I'm just weird. I've considered it, but never was brave enough. I applaud you for taking that step! I'm glad to hear it helped you. I'm sorry that this was 7 years for you. Can you tell me, does it get better or does it just get a good bit better and then stop? I figure it can keep getting better, but I've read that you can only heal to a certain point and then you're kind of... stuck? I just can't let myself think of it that way though.

Yes. People who are understanding are a good help. So far it's been me and my partner on the "journey" and it is much better, but on those days when you think you might be crazy, it would be nice to hear from those who know or have gone through it too.

Again, I am so sorry for you too. Oh my goodness, I could not imagine becoming pregnant from it. YOU kept them! AW! How cool! and oh my! How brave. Twins, that is awesome. I am a twin. That is really admirable that you were able to do that. I honestly can't say for sure I would've been able to. When I wondered if I'd gotten pregnant from it I thought about abortion. I wasn't at all certain and didn't suspect pregnancy, but knew it was a possibility. I don't think I could've gone through with an abortion though, but I certainly wouldn't judge someone who did. It's really amazing that you look at the bright side. My heart does ache for you though. I was 15. Those are hard ages to go through it. You're totally right about feeling helpless. I haven't ever felt that way until then and still only feel helpless when August comes around. Even the smell of the air reminds me. UGH!

AW. Bless your heart. How really brave of you though, to make such a turn around so soon. Congrats on the wonderful kids! So did you ever end up running into the man ever again? Since you moved outta state I assume it must've been far. I didn't move. In fact, I live in a tiny area and he lives on the SAME mountain! It's terrifying, but thankfully I've only saw him 5 times and one was the night he did that. Every time I saw him it was driving and 2wice at wal mart. He works next to wal mart and it makes me cringe! I hate that you have to remember that around such a sweet holiday. That's awful! So I'm not the only one with flashbacks! I truly thought I was really crazy. It was scary. Do those ever go away? It's been 5 years and 6 days for me and still they are there. Not as often, but there. I will also pray that he will be able to make you a copy. You can count on my prayers on that!

Why is it that rape is so often looked over? Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing! You have no idea how kind and helpful that was. I am going to follow your blog. It was so nice to see that I am not insane. I do hate it so much for all the other women though. Gosh, it angers me! It is very nice to hear I'm not alone. Same to you and the rest of you out there. I'm always up for a chat!

I think a support group sounds nice. It's not as scary sounding as a doctor and could add to the help and support of my partner. I know he gets exhausted with it, but he'd never tell me that.

thanks about my kids. Well I am from Virginia and to make a stupid story short I met my now husband online because of his then wife =/ lol. so I was moving there to room with her because they were suppose to be divorcing but yeah it didn't work at all like that. He ended up coming onto me and thenyeah i got pregnant with our son, had him 6 wks early then she signed the D papers and then left and we got married and found out I was expecting our daughter. They are only 10 months and a few days apart in age. Anyways I moved from VA to PA which is 6.5 hrs driving if you speed which at time he did, but if you're a normal driver it takes about 8 hours to get to the town we lived in from April 2007 til October 2009.We had to move BACK to VA which in 2009 I was kinda flipping out on my husband about it saying do u know HOW HARD i tried gettin outta that state and why? He knew why but he also had been laid off work for 18 months and the unemployment $ extensions were running out, so we had no choice unless you wanted minimum wage jobs. soooooooooooooo I am like ok ONLY if you let me make a few calls to make sure if i work at mall til u get a job that he is NOT still there. He said ok and i was told he was fired so i said ok ask dad if we can stay with them. so we ended up taking getting dad to drive up (his license was susp. at time and i only had my permit) and helped us pack up and leave PA. in may 2010 we went back to get some of our stuff and in dec 2009 too. he had built a shed so thats where our stuff is that we didnt have room for in va =] we're actually going to PA 2nite at 11pm so we'll get there at 5am or so. gotta get more stuff.

I saw him 2x BEFORE i moved (in 2006 1x and 1x in 2007)when my mom and I went to the mall. I didn't know he worked there so I was just going to my interview at one of the stores and was told I could start monday and i said let me talk to my dad about to get to and from work and ill call them they said ok. i went to meet my mom outside that store and looked up to see HIM working at the sunglasses stand, and I immediately started shaking and he said hi or something i mean I TOOK OFF RUNNING AS FAST AS I COULD up the escelator to the steps my mom was at and told her we HAVE TO LEAVE n i cannot take the job im sorry. she then took me to the police station to see if even tho i had no rape kit done if anything could be done, they said i can but it'd get pricy (my dad had a great job) and it would end up being he said she said unless someone else came fwd with allegations. i tried talkin to a defense attourney but i gave up because thats when i had plans of leaving va. In oct 2006 i got a job at Kmart Little Caesars Pizza and i kept that job til i moved in april 2007. Well one night when i was making the pizzas this guy comes up to the register and says can i order? i looked up and said u HAVE TO COVER me i g2g i ran out the door and called my dad to come get me early and told mom why. but since then i have not seen him.

Counseling specifically for Sexual assault and rape helps alot more than a support group filled with older adults who it happened to a long time ago as a kid. i felt outta place.

yes the nightmares went away once i got outa state and found out i was pregnant with my son. the flashbacks went away when i was 5 months pregnant or so.

I was raped when i was bout 11/12 i cant remember but i dont remember the exact day I do how ever remember it was around mothers day not sure if it was before or after . But i try not to think about it because its not easy, certain words, smells and tastes can bring back the memories clear as if it was yesterday.

im so sorry

my blog was accidentally deleted when i clicked wrong button. here's my new blog for personal blog.

link

OH! that prick!I hope he rots in the sickest pit of hell for what he did. I hope you get better love

I agree with this.