Has the number of sex partners you've had ever been held against you?

Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Noelle
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I am 42, and sdmittedly have had MANY sex partners since I first became sexually active at 21. I am curious if anyone has been in a relationship where the # of partners was held against them by their current partner? My ex bf always tried to make me feel like a piece of trash because I had many partners in the past (not all at once). I am pretty sure he had just as many if not more than I ever had. Tell me about your experiences?
08/01/2012
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Contributor: Ganconagh Ganconagh
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
I am 42, and sdmittedly have had MANY sex partners since I first became sexually active at 21. I am curious if anyone has been in a relationship where the # of partners was held against them by their current partner? My ex bf always tried to make me ... more
Never been an issue here. The past is the past. Why anyone would care is beyond me. Probably insecurity issues.
08/01/2012
Contributor: Abombadong Abombadong
Quote:
Originally posted by Ganconagh
Never been an issue here. The past is the past. Why anyone would care is beyond me. Probably insecurity issues.
Im with this guy! The past is the past! If your ex or current lover cant face the fact that someone else "landed on plymouth rock" first then there is something wrong.
08/01/2012
Contributor: Love Obsessed Love Obsessed
I haven't been with enough people that it would be held against me.
08/02/2012
Contributor: solitudinarian solitudinarian
Nope. My current boyfriend (the only one I've had so far) has had a lot more experience. He's quite a few years older than me, so it's to be expected. It doesn't bother me at all. I've had sex with a few others. I don't think I could be with someone who held it against me.
08/02/2012
Contributor: bh253 bh253
Never been a problem.
08/02/2012
Contributor: MrPink MrPink
I've only had a few myself (4 in total) and even my first few times went well for her so I can't say anyone has held this against me (for sleeping around too much or being inexperienced). I personally don't care how many people you've slept with in the past so long as it is in the past.
08/02/2012
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
I've never had this problem. I also agree, what's in the past is in the past.
08/02/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
No, but I do serial monogamy. So my number isn't that high. I generally prefer to be with people who are the same way. I dated one guy who had a high number and it bugged me. I actually had more experience than him (I find you learn more when you've been with someone longer and can be honest about what you want), but the fact that he slept with just about anyone who was willing was a major turn off for me. I never held it against him in arguments, but I wasn't happy when the thought crossed my mind.
08/02/2012
Contributor: libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
I am 42, and sdmittedly have had MANY sex partners since I first became sexually active at 21. I am curious if anyone has been in a relationship where the # of partners was held against them by their current partner? My ex bf always tried to make me ... more
i'm honest with hubby, he actually gets turned on to hear me about being with other men
03/12/2013
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
My current BF had some insecurity issues at first. He isn't nearly as experienced as I was and was also a little put off by the idea that I slept with more people than he did. He never really threw it in my face but it did make things a little touch and go early on between us. Now there is a sorta joke between us that I slept with more girls than he has. The guys are ignored and just never brought up.
03/12/2013
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
I am 42, and sdmittedly have had MANY sex partners since I first became sexually active at 21. I am curious if anyone has been in a relationship where the # of partners was held against them by their current partner? My ex bf always tried to make me ... more
It's never been an issue. My husband was the first man I had sex with, but we had an open relationship for about 5 years, so I've been with other people. He's older than I am, and not only had partners before he met me, but also had partners when we were Open.

He's had more partners than I have, and even if I had had more, if he "used" the number of partners I had against me, I'd consider it some form of abuse.

IMO, men who feel insecure become abusive and will use anything they can against the women they are supposed to love. If it wasn't the number of partners, it would be something else.

He's behaving extremely immaturely. What DIFFERENCE does it make how many people you've had sex with?

I know if a man tried to "use" ANY of my sex life against me, it would be the last thing he'd do in our relationship. I don't tolerate sexual insults.

I think it's a good thing this guy is your ex. He sound childish and abusive.
03/12/2013
Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
It's never been an issue. My husband was the first man I had sex with, but we had an open relationship for about 5 years, so I've been with other people. He's older than I am, and not only had partners before he met me, but also had ... more
Yes He was a real piece of work, hence the "EX". Thanks for your response!
03/13/2013
Contributor: Aishiteru Aishiteru
Thankfully, no.
03/13/2013
Contributor: TJtheMadHatter TJtheMadHatter
My ex used to. His sister stole my journal (which had my roster in it), and his mom, sister, and he read it. I got it thrown in my face by all three of them. Terrible relationship. Glad it's over. My SO doesn't and hasn't thrown my high number in my face. I don't really talk about my number to anyone that would use it against me, or couldn't move on from it.
03/15/2013
Contributor: Dairygirl8808 Dairygirl8808
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
I am 42, and sdmittedly have had MANY sex partners since I first became sexually active at 21. I am curious if anyone has been in a relationship where the # of partners was held against them by their current partner? My ex bf always tried to make me ... more
I haven't had anyone hold it against me, but I also keep it to myself unless asked about it by my sig. other. I'd also hope they wouldn't hold it against me.
03/21/2013
Contributor: wanderer5964 wanderer5964
i have had my share but my current boyfriend doesnt care how many people i have had in the past and i dont care about his either. we dont even wanna know. we are just happy to have each other now
04/01/2013
Contributor: tunacan75 tunacan75
I've only ever had one so I can't vouch for this kind of thing one way or another, but it shouldn't even be used against you. It takes a while to find your Mr. Right
04/01/2013
Contributor: lalalalove lalalalove
Quote:
Originally posted by Noelle
I am 42, and sdmittedly have had MANY sex partners since I first became sexually active at 21. I am curious if anyone has been in a relationship where the # of partners was held against them by their current partner? My ex bf always tried to make me ... more
Yes. I'm 21 and I've only had 2 partners. I've had people imply that I don't know my way around the bedroom, which I find very rude honestly. I've had plenty of sex, just not with many different people. (Never judge those who do though! Get it girl! LOL)
08/06/2013