The New Intimacy

Well, I certainly had an interesting day...

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Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I was spending an hour or so with a girl I've recently become friends with. She's very nice, a freshman in college and sort of sheltered. She was super-curious to see the new anal beads EF sent me a couple of days ago, so I gleefully showed them to her, along with a couple of other toys (she's never seen a vibrator).

When I mentioned rabbit vibrators, she was rather confused. I was surprised that she'd never heard of a rabbit vibrator, but, well, "sheltered," "never seen a vibrator," etcetera. So I pulled out the Butterfly Kiss, because it's very unintimidating, and mentioned that the butterfly works on your clitoris.

And she goes, "What's that?"

O_O

I was so shocked, she actually felt a little bad. I asked if she had ever masturbated; she looked positively stunned and said, "Wait, girls can masturbate?!"

The next 10 minutes were very educational. I can't remember the last time I had to draw a diagram of the female anatomy and explain basic orgasm mechanics to somebody. (Oh, wait, I can: it was in high school. Girl went to Catholic school all her life, heard the word "vibrator" at my high school, and was really confused. Oi, my life!)
10/16/2008
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Contributor: Epiphora Epiphora
Sad. Very sad.

But I'm glad you were there to make things right.
10/16/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
I had a really progressive friend, at the end of high school she won quite a few awards for her stance on lesbian & gay rights and her involvement with the LGBT teens at her school. She had a boyfriend and she had had sex before, she was also one of the most intelligent people I knew, I couldn't believe she was only 18... but, she was the SAME way. She had no idea about vibrators and she was clueless when it came to the clitoris. We literally spent HOURS talking at night discussing how getting off worked and when she got her first vibrator she made sure to call me and tell me. Sure, this was senior year and some women don't learn about sex toys until later on in life but with the internet readily available and sex ed classes becoming more in depth I was really shocked she knew so little about her body, how it worked, and about sex toys. Especially when she held meetings at the local LGBT center discussing safe sex.

It just goes to show that people of all backgrounds are a little sheltered when it comes to the knowledge of how to get off and toys.
10/16/2008
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I recall a day in my senior year when we were discussing sex basically and one of my good friends thought the clit was the same as the g-spot. Unfortunately, even good sex ed doesn't really tell much about the anatomy (more focused on pregnancy and STDS and the like). Still, I had been into sex for years by then and knew it.

Good that we can help some people out, though.
10/16/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Adriana Ravenlust
I recall a day in my senior year when we were discussing sex basically and one of my good friends thought the clit was the same as the g-spot. Unfortunately, even good sex ed doesn't really tell much about the anatomy (more focused on pregnancy ... more
Trust me, our sex ed discussed the clitoris. We had a GREAT sexual education program that wasn't just focused on the "use a condom, don't get pregnant, and don't get an STD" ....
10/17/2008
Contributor: Spiking Glue Spiking Glue
My sex ed focused mostly on shame, AIDS, and menstruation. Gotta love that small town life!
10/17/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Spiking Glue
My sex ed focused mostly on shame, AIDS, and menstruation. Gotta love that small town life!
We were a small town too (pop. 3,000) with a shitty district, we just had an amazing teacher who took her job seriously.
10/17/2008
Contributor: Spiking Glue Spiking Glue
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
We were a small town too (pop. 3,000) with a shitty district, we just had an amazing teacher who took her job seriously.
My home town was about 900 people, I remember my first 'sex ed' class quite clearly. We imported people from 'the city', college students working for credit, and they took us to one side and taught us an approved curriculum. It was quite traumatic and really really weird. In a town that size, strangers practically glow.
10/17/2008
Contributor: Beautiful Dreamer Beautiful Dreamer
I've mentioned this before, but we had absolutely no sex education. I went to the same system grades K-12. It's quite sad.
10/17/2008
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
Quote:
Originally posted by Spiking Glue
My home town was about 900 people, I remember my first 'sex ed' class quite clearly. We imported people from 'the city', college students working for credit, and they took us to one side and taught us an approved curriculum. It was ... more
My lord!!! I thought we had it bad!!! We were a farming town, our neighbors on each side were about a mile away. 900 people though? Holy crap.
10/17/2008
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Nashville
Trust me, our sex ed discussed the clitoris. We had a GREAT sexual education program that wasn't just focused on the "use a condom, don't get pregnant, and don't get an STD" ....
While that's awesome, it's the exception not the rule (even among good sex ed which was my point).
10/17/2008
Contributor: VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
Wow! What a story.... That's just crazy to me but... I hope you explained stuff to her! LOL! Sex education is good.
04/19/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I was spending an hour or so with a girl I've recently become friends with. She's very nice, a freshman in college and sort of sheltered. She was super-curious to see the new anal beads EF sent me a couple of days ago, so I gleefully showed ... more
wow!

Hay, how'd you like the butterfly kiss? I had one a while back the platinum edition and I totally hate that damn thing! Did it work out any for you?
04/23/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
wow, crazy
04/23/2011
Contributor: kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
Wow that is sad , and I'm glad you got to inform her
04/23/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
I had a roommate like that in college. Once, a friend was talking about having a rectal exam and she joked, "It gave me a whole new respect for gay men."
"Why?"
"You know, anal sex..."
"What?"
"Where you put the penis in the butt instead of the vagina."
"But it won't fit in there!"

I opened her eyes!
04/24/2011
Contributor: amandaco2011 amandaco2011
This just makes me think about how many people out there are getting educated in a negitive way when it comes to sex. The school system obviously isn't doing a very good or in depth job.
04/24/2011
Contributor: Inwitari Inwitari
She's actually very lucky that she found someone who was willing to talk to her in an educative and positive manner. I feel bad for all the people out there that have their "sex talk" be so negative and frightening.
04/24/2011
Contributor: EndlessFrost EndlessFrost
Wish I'd had someone like you growing up. I had to be that person to my mother the other day, when I went back home for a visit. What an strange and awkward conversation that was. She didn't know that there were masturbators for men. It all went down hill from there.
04/25/2011
Contributor: Isadorabelle Isadorabelle
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I was spending an hour or so with a girl I've recently become friends with. She's very nice, a freshman in college and sort of sheltered. She was super-curious to see the new anal beads EF sent me a couple of days ago, so I gleefully showed ... more
It's funny, you'd think with the number of teen pregnancies we hear about (isn't there an MTV show about that?) and the condom demonstrations, that educating young women and men on sex toys would be smart.

I mean, you can't get pregnant from a dildo or a vibrator. Wouldn't it be better to be 16 or 18 and be well versed in how to use the products featured on EF than to know first hand how much you dilate in child birth?

Perhaps that's a little too modern even today or the wrong way to approach it, but I had a lot of pregnant school mates (high school and early college) who might not have been in that position if they really knew alternative ways to experience masturbation.
04/28/2011