Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre by Wicked Pictures - review by Maiden

I want to start by writing a little bit about myself so I can explain why I enjoy movies like this so much. First of all, I love porn. It is one of the few things my man and I can "do" together when we have limited time to get in the mood. His weird work schedule and our toddler leave us very little time these days for sex period, let alone the fun kinky sex that I enjoy the most. Porn is a great way to get turned on in a hurry and it adds a little something extra to what would normally be a routine quickie after a long exhausting day. The only problem is, I get bored of the "normal" porn pretty quickly. For awhile, "Alternative" porn was the answer, and while it still turns me on, I got rather bored of that too after awhile. Sometimes I just want something different, something I can still watch after we come, something that will intrigue me, or at least make me laugh.


Thankfully, porn parodies are becoming more popular than ever, so I have a whole new world of porn to explore. There is something out there for every one it seems; comic book nerds, nostalgic gen-Xers who like to see their favorite cartoons and shows parodied, and for Horror movie buffs like my man and I, there are movies like this one. We love Horror movies of all kinds, even the cheesy low budget ones. Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre is kind of like the the "Scary Movie" series that parodies popular Horror movies. Granted the acting and comedy aren't as good, but for porn it was better than I expected. This movie kept me laughing the whole way through, even during the sex scenes. While it could be distracting at times when you are trying to get off, it was thoroughly entertaining, for us at least. While this may not be every one's cup of tea, I would definitely recommend it to friends and any one looking for something different.


Okay, so about the actual movie. The cast is made up of some familiar faces to me, though I don't know a lot of the main stream porn actors. I'll just list some of the names from the product page: Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Katie Morgan, Randy Spears, Tommy Gun, and Scott Nails. I'm particularly fond of Katie Morgan since seeing her in "Zack and Miri Make a Porno", and I enjoyed her scenes. The movie starts out like so many horror movies do, a van full of college friends are on a road trip to see a "Metallicide" concert. There are three guys, two of which are jocks sporting letter jackets, and one is a creepy shy guy carrying a video camera (an American Beauty reference). The two chicks in the van are Jessica Drake, who plays the cool tough one, and Stormy Daniels, who plays the sweet dumb blond role. The blond and one of the jocks starts getting it on in the back, which gets the two in the front started and eventually they are all in the back of the van getting it on. When they are finished, some one is clever enough to say "Who is driving the car?" Apparently, the driver had set the cruise control. So of course, they rush to regain control of the van, but aren't quick enough to avoid running over someone. Sound familiar? So they strap the victim to the roof of the van, only to over heat and run out of gas. The gang splits up to find help and the girls meet up with an old guy who lives in the woods. He proceeds to tell them stories of what has happened at Camp Cuddly Pines over the years. The sex scenes that follow are "flashbacks" starting in the 1950's. What I liked about these scenes was the way they really had the look and feel of classic horror movies like "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th". In fact, the serial killer wears a vintage clown mask and you also see the scenes from his perspective through the mask at times. As for the guys, one meets up with a Native American "spirit" who warns him that these woods used to be her ancestral burial grounds, and of course... they get it on. The other jock meets up with another ghost/demon? who crawls out of a well like the movie "The Ring". That chick is super creepy looking but the noises and jerky movements she makes are more comical than scary.

There are 10 sex scenes in all and a total film length of 2 and a half hours. The sex itself is pretty standard. Condoms are used so there is a predictable pattern of oral with out condom, sex with condom in various positions, then the come shot without condom on the face and mouth. A butt plug is used in the final scene, but other than that it's just standard porn sex. There isn't anything too rough or kinky. Even the death scenes are tame. The scenarios themselves are what make the sex different. For instance, one scene is in a mental hospital where the "crazy" women basically attack the guy. The women make weird sounds and say odd "crazy person" things during the scene. I guess this can be disturbing to some, but for me it was hilarious. I really enjoyed this movie and hope to have time to watch it again soon.

There are two discs full of bonus materials that I didn't get the chance to watch. My man has been switched from day shift to night shift and back again, so I barely had time to watch the movie. This review is SEVERELY past due, and had I waited to have time to watch the bonus material there is no telling when I would have gotten this review done. I will watch them sometime in the next two months so I can write about them in my follow up review. I can tell you from reading the back of the DVD that there are bloopers, behind the scenes stuff, extended and bonus sex scenes, as well as galleries. Looks really interesting, so I will be sure to watch them and give my full report!

I have watched this movie a couple of times now, and am sure I will still enjoy it for years to come. Even though the sex is pretty standard porn fare I like the cheesy horror that brings something different and humorous to the table.

I did finally get a chance check out the bonus features and they are pretty run of the mill too. The bonus sex scenes were average and were from totally different movies. I didn't really care for them and neither did my man, so we basically just glanced through them while fast forwarding.