Indecent Radio Indecent Radio

Erotic novel
by

Things That Make You Go Ewwwww

Like most porn, there really wasn’t a lot of plot or good acting, but this porn took things to a new level of bad. There was dick slapping, spitting on genitals, bad music, over-vocalizations of fake pleasure, and a mostly unattractive cast. This was beyond painful to watch. It gave me a headache. I feel like this porn was a projection of what a 12-year-old boy’s fantasies might look like. Seriously? Who find spitting on vulvas or dick slapping sexy?
Published:
Pros
Cover looks nice, some scenes aren't too bad, attempt at humor
Cons
Most scenes are unarousing or gross, bad music and acting, humor usually failed
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
Front Cover:

The front shows a woman with green eye shadow and hot pink lipstick licking a microphone. It mentions that English and Spanish audio are available and that it is all sex vignettes and rated X.

Back cover:

On the left-hand side, it shows a black and white image of a woman wearing only panties, stockings, and heels straddling a microphone stand; there is a flush of pink on her lips and nipples. On the right hand sides, there are six color photos, one for each vignette, but there are 2 for the train robbery vignette.

Menus:

The menus are easy to navigate, but annoying, unfitting music plays in the background; it changes from country, to rock, etc. depending on what menu section you’re in. If you leave it on the main menu, it will start playing by itself.

Plot Overview: With potential spoilers

Devon Michaels is late to work. Her co-host covers for her. The scene cuts to her getting off the elevator and pulling her panties back on. A cop, a construction worker, a “chieftain,” and a clown exit the elevator, trying to cover erections or just get their pants back on. She runs to her desk and puts on her headphones. Playful, sexual banter ensues between host and co-host. She tells her listeners that she is about to make all their fantasies come true on her show The Fucking Truth. Call her at (555)-FUCK-ME. Anna Mills calls in and tells her about her recent train trip. The scene changes to her memory of the ride.

The train ride stops because there’s debris blocking the tracks. The conductor asks the men on board to help clear it, leaving Anna by herself. A cowboy robber (Evan Stone) appears and tells her that he wants all her valuables. She tells him that she doesn’t have anything, rips open her shirt, and tells him he’ll have to shoot her. They kiss which leads to oral and vaginal penetration. He ejaculates on her chest and scoops his cum into her mouth.

Anna’s story reminds Devon of her recent trip to Bakersfield. She stops by a barn and takes a piss next to her parked car. Van Damage catches her and hits on her. Sexual banter ensues. She tells him that if he wants to fuck her, just say so. They make out, grope, and strip each other. The scene continues with oral and vaginal penetration on top of her red 1958 Cadillac, and ends with a facial.

Eric Masterton retells the story of a night when he and Seth Dickens got laid during WWII while stationed in England. The caller wanted to set Seth up Holly Wellin’s friend, but she leaves. They go back to Holly’s apartment and have a threesome. The scene involves oral and vaginal penetration, and simultaneous oral and vaginal penetration. The scene ends with a simultaneous facial.

Steven St. Croix tells Devon about his sexual experience with a ghost. He was a journalist doing a story about the Chism murder/suicide on the 50th anniversary of the murder. He visits the house and jumps at every noise. The clock strikes midnight and Jenna Presley descends the stairs looking like a vampiric southern belle. She thinks he’s Lyle, her lover and tells him they must make love before her husband catches them. He protests, but she unzips his pants and deep throats. Vaginal penetration follows. The scene ends with a messy facial.

Alex Sanders and Toni Tedeschi burst into the studio demanding that Devon play a single from their band. She tells them to scram, but Toni threatens to shoot Alex if she doesn’t play it. She agrees. Toni then threatens to shoot Alex’s dick off if she doesn’t take off her shirt. She laughs at the situation and gladly has a threesome with them. Oral, vaginal penetration, and simultaneous vaginal and oral ensue. The scene ends with two facials.

Camera work:

The picture quality was decent. While it’s not bad, the lighting makes everything have a yellowish hue. The shots were always tuned in on the action and everything was easy to see and in focus.

Sound work:

The audio and dialogue were always clear and easy to hear. The WWII scene has a really loud, squeaky bed. Different music plays each vignette, all of which sound cheesy. They tried matching music to each vignette. Strangely, The Ride of the Valkyries plays during the haunted house vignette while the ghost is blowing him.

Bonus Features:

Bonus Sex Scene with Devon Michaels
Behind the Scenes
Star & Photo Galleries
English + Spanish Audio
Italian + Greek Subtitling
Trailers
Wicked Pictures DVD Catalog
Promotional Materials
Chapter Index
Wicked Awards – Winners and Nominations
Experience
It's a bad sign when you're watching a porn and it makes you nauseous. I found the sex to be sloppy and gross for most of the movie.

Train Robbery Sex Scene: Overall, This was my most hated scene. I was disgusted by Evan Stone's low-hanging balls as they flapped around. I've never seen balls like that ever and I never want to see them again. He also spits on her vulva (No!)! Anna Mills didn't seem to actually enjoy what she was doing. It was a very awkward sex scene. For some reason her hands were behind her back (unbound, mind you and her character was not forced into sex); she often takes her mouth off his dick to lick his balls. Without her hands to help, she kept missing his penis. It was slightly funny, except for the omni-presence of his icky balls which scared and scarred me.

Farmhand Scene: Devon Michaels! You stopped by a stranger's barn in the daytime to take a piss?! WOW, this was unsexy and just crass. Also, what is wrong with Van Damage's discolored junk? I'm not trying to be immature, but it was weird looking and distracting. I could have maybe even ignored the fact that I find Devon unattractive if it wasn't for his weird penis.

WWII Scene: Actually one of the hotter scenes in the movie. Holly Wellin spits on their dicks (Why?!? Ew!!), some of which lands on her gloves. I was grossed out by hearing gagging on cum. After shes stops blowing them, it gets a lot better. I enjoy seeing good DP scenes, and while I wish the men were more attractive, she was pretty cute. I originally thought her British accent was fake, but I googled her and apparently it's not. Confusing. Bonus! When she gets her facial, her mouth is open wide and you can see a cavity!!

Haunted House Scene: The camp here was actually pretty damn funny, which surprised me. Steven St. Croix actually tried acting. I was impressed that someone did. This man, however is an island. I think Jenna Presley is cute, and Steven is more attractive then the rest of the male cast, so overall, most attractive scene! The only thing that bothered me was hearing her gag on his cock (oh and there was more spitting) but she was deep throating, so I can see how that can happen. I hate that sound.

Gun Threat Scene: I didn't like this one at all. So, when you find out that the guys that threatened to shoot someone in your studio have a fake gun that it suddenly makes everything okay, and you in turn welcome them to enter your vagina? OH HELL NO! This made me very angry. Thank you Devon Michaels for helping push women back 50+ years. Clearly this is a fantasy, but there's a difference between being a sexually liberated woman and being a trashy skank-ho. This scene made me feel a little femi-Nazi inside ready to start a blitzkrieg on Jace Rocker the director.

Overall, this porn sounded great before I watched it. It's very likely to end up being shown when I next host Bad Porn Night with friends. I will eat beforehand and try to desensitize myself to decrease nausea.
Follow-up commentary
This porno is the stuff of legends. I've never seen a porn that is quite as bad as this one. It's borderline sickening by how cheesy and un-arousing it is.

It brought looks of disgust and laughter at bad porn night. I would only recommend this porn for laughs and nothing else.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
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Comments
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  • Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Great review!

    I thought it sounded great by the description, but after reading your thoughts on it I think I will pass

    Awesome review
  • Contributor: KnK
    Dude, I thought the same thing when I ordered it. I was so pumped, and even the cover looked sexy, but I wasn't exaggerating when I said I felt nauseous. I had to pause it and take a break. Bad sign for porn. Lol
  • Contributor: Purpleladybug
    Thanks for the review!!
  • Contributor: namelesschaos
    Thanks for the review. I'll take a pass on this one.
  • Contributor: KnK
    Minor edit that I just took care of.

    Previously, I had accidentally listed the listed track that I recognized as Flight of the Concords....I have no idea what I was thinking. I looked it up because I suddenly suspected I was wrong. I changed it to what it really it: The RIDE of the Valkyries. Sounds way more badass anyway.

    If you aren't familiar with the track, listen to it. Here It will give you an idea of just how ridiculous it is for that song to be playing when someone is getting a blowjob. I'm guessing it was for the L-O-Ls
  • Contributor: Vaccinium
    You host a bad porn night? Awesome.

    Excellent review.
  • Contributor: darthkitt3n
    Great review! That porn sounds awful. Is her cavity a big empty rotting hole or can you see a filling?
  • Contributor: KnK
    Lol, Oh no thank God it's filled. It's not a BIG ROTTING HOLE, Oh God, That would make this porn even worse. I shudder to think about it. Lol
  • Contributor: KnK
    @Vaccineum: Yesss, sometimes I do host a bad porn night, but I'm not the only one. My friends and I used to go to Hastings, (this small town's weird mash up of Border's/Barnes and Noble, a video rental store, and Spencer's).

    They sell porn and rent out porn, but all of it's bad, and it's clear that it's all bad even before you watch it. We would cram into someone's dorm room and comment, ridicule, and laugh about the porn, because it really was that bad, but the catch is that we only had access to softcore porn.

    My friends are excited (perhaps a little too excited) now that I review adult products. I have made it known that I am working on a porn shelf to further the cause. I'm pretty excited about it. Anything that is a crappy porn or a cheesy porn makes it to bad porn night.

    I'm currently eying a porn on EF called Pink Tacos & Beer. If I get that one, I'm purposely getting it because it's bad. It only has one scathing review so far. I actually asked for Indecent Radio as an assignment because the description made it sound sexy. Unfortunately, it was quite the opposite.
  • Contributor: Kayla
    Awww. I miss my Hastings. I used to live right next door. Then they closed. I want my Hastings back. (You made me remember it.)

    Great review!
  • Contributor: C4ss
    Thanks for the review. I think I'll pass this one as well.
  • Contributor: That Guy
    Thanks for the review, sorry you had to endure that.
  • Contributor: P'Gell
    The cover looks like something from the 80s.

    I don't know what all the spitting is about. I mean, I guess if the woman isn't lubed enough. But, I have Rough Sex by Tristan Taromino and I expected more rough sex that it delivered, but there was spitting in every scene. People dig it, hell, I've DONE it. But, I think some times porn over does it.
  • Contributor: PussyGalore
    I really really despise spitting in porn! It's about the most classless, distasteful act I can think of and I have never understood why they couldn't either break and edit for a quick drop of lube or lick their hands or something.

    I can honestly say if anyone I ever had sex with spit on me for any reason, I would immediately stop what I was doing and leave or end the session and explain that I can't stand that. There is very little I won't tolerate, by the way, when it comes to sex.

    You would think most people would enjoy the realism of needing a lube and would be like "hell yeah, at least I'm not the only one that gets dry".
  • Contributor: KnK
    @Audra: OMG, me too, If anyone spit on me ever during sex, it'd be like, GAME OVER. Don't touch me.

    And I agree, lube is better suited. Granted, the spitting happened sometimes when they were giving head, but spitting? It just looks gross. I feel like there should have been a disclaimer for excessive spitting.
  • Contributor: mysecretcollection
    e[https://www]... flappy balls. What a turn off.
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