Crotch Massager Satisfies the Hunger

One of the things that immediately drew me to this quirky little vibrator, other than its novel packaging, was the mind-shattering promise of 5 vrooms. I'm the kinda girl that can appreciate some real power under the hood and was curious whether my new little friend could deliver. I was not disappointed. The Crotch Massager is a very intense stimulator that is 5 inches in length so can be used as both a light insertion and clitoral apparatus.

While it is definitely one of the stronger stimulators I've played with, the claim of multi-speed is a little misleading; its speeds consist of off and teeth chattering. Now, if you're like me and want something with a little more kick, you don't necessarily have to switch from one device to another as your working your way to climax. With a little motion, I'm able to move the tip of the Crotch around to areas where I am a little less sensitive to directly on the clitoris as I play. That all said, it is not quiet. For me, living in a house with my boyfriend, it's really no big deal. However it might be a bit of an inconvenience if you have roommates and don't want to advertise that it's self servicing time.

A wonderful device, and I can't pass on the candy-like packaging. Simple but novel, it is made from a lighter blue plastic with harder plastic or cardboard inserts, so it should hold up for a while assuming doesn't get chewed on, stepped on, or thrown to angry baboons. Overall, the Crotch Massager is the strongest vibrator I've owned thus far, a great deal of fun, and impossible to go wrong on for the price.

Made from latex free plastic, the Crotch Massager is incredibly smooth and shiny, which allows it to be moved really easily around the clitoris and inserted without requiring a ton of lubricant- natural or otherwise. The plastic also doesn't absorb any of the vibration like some rubber tends to among vibrators making this little fellow all the more powerful.

There is a seam around the middle where the shape begins to taper, which concerned me initially for cleaning purposes. When running a finger down it, it's actually pretty smooth with neither side overlapping the other, so just a regular go with soap and water or toy cleaner does the job. Be careful when cleaning though, as it's not a water-friendly toy. The end cap screws straight on where the battery goes with no rubber piece to keep the droplets out.

Reminiscent of either a torpedo or a fifties b-movie rocket ship, the Crotch Massager is 5 inches long with a gradual increase in size from the base toward the middle that tapers to a rounded point. One aspect of the shape I found interesting was that it is not symmetrical length-wise; one side much is more visibly rounded while the other is flat. This flat side allows the Crotch to fit snug to your body, while the gradual curve allows the powerful tip to rest flush to you as well (instead of being centered over the base). The shape design allows the Crotch to be useful during intercourse, even when in missionary.

The wider section gives a little added pressure when using it for insertion, and the rounded tip allows the vibration power to really be focused without being too pointy for clitoral enjoyment.

The Crotch Massager's one and only control is the dial at the base which doubles as the battery's screw-on top. It's not waterproof, so you'll want to be careful when cleaning it, as to not get water too close to the cap. The function is pretty straight forward; turn the dial, receive vibration.

As I mentioned before, the claim of "multi-speed" isn't really accurate. The dial isn't sensitive enough to turn it on in any lower speed than full on power blaster, so that is definitely something to prepare for. You can always switch from a more speed nimble toy to the straight on power hitter, but a way I've found around that is to just move the Crotch Massager around the less sensitive bits and close in onto full clitoral contact as I need to. The nice thing about that is there really is no messing with the dial while I'm playing leaving my unoccupied hand free to roam, throw out the peace sign, play chess, etc.

The Crotch Massager's simple and aerodynamic shape is really easy to maintain. When first purchasing it, I was a little worried about the seam that encircles the toy's middle. However, neither side overlaps the other so there is no lip to worry about, and the seam itself is pretty well fused. If you're going to be using this toy for insertion, the seam is something to be mindful of when cleaning. Honestly, I didn't have any troubles getting the Crotch to shine like new, seam and all, when giving it a once over with soap and water. As it isn't waterproof, be careful not to submerse the whole thing, but otherwise, cleaning is a snap.

The only packaging this powerful little toy arrived in was the novel plastic, candy bar-esque, snap-to-close box. The box is decently manufactured so if you take care of it, it should last. I love that it has its own somewhat discreet (while it doesn't necessarily say vibrator, it does say CROTCH) box to be easily stored in.

The package of the Crotch Massager is just too novel to skip. When I ordered the Crotch, it came in this little blue candy bar like box and nothing else. The box itself is made from an almost heavier poncho-like plastic printed with the CROTCH label (among other such gems like: Guaranteed to blow your mind) and containing heavier plastic or cardboard inserts to help it hold its shape. The front has a small plastic snap and it fits the toy perfectly. The box really seems like if taken care of should last a decent amount of time and could hold a variety of other toys with similar or smaller proportions as well.