Naked muscles - adult game by Cal Exotics - review by So Long Ya Doofuses!

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Flimsy Cards for Muscular Men

In the absolute simplest terms, this deck of playing cards is a portable porn collection. With 54 different pictures of naked men, most lovers of muscular men are sure to find at least one card that stands out for them. However, it is truly a shame that such enticing male nudes has been printed on such a low-quality medium.
Good photo quality, diverse body types
Flimsy design, no protective coating on the cards
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review

Purpose / Audience

"Colt Naked Muscles Playing Cards" is about as factual as a product name can get: each of the 54 cards in this standard deck does in fact contain a picture of a man posing nude. What sets this apart from similar novelty decks, though, is that most of the pictures are full frontal, with no props or little logos to obscure the fantastic view (this is to say that despite the preview picture, the EF trademark leaf is not covering any of the 51 penises present in this deck). In a practical setting, these cards have incredibly high shock value, so take care when gifting these cards or when using them around people you do not completely trust or know extremely well. That being said, this deck makes for a fun gag gift that could potentially lead to many nights of playing Solitaire!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Novelty item
    • Single people
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Among very good friends
    • Bachelorette party
    • In private
  • General
    [ ? ]
    Other tags that are useful and descriptive for this product.
    • Ice breaker
    • Kinky
    • Multiple players

Rules / Content

These cards are meant to be used just like any other playing card deck, the only difference being that each card has a naked man on it. There are 54 cards in this deck: 4 suits (spades, diamonds, clubs, and hearts) with 13 cards in each suit, and two Joker cards (red and black). The Jokers are not used often, but keep them handy just in case a game requires them.

As for the "content", here is a rough breakdown of what sorts of pictures this deck contains...
~51 full/almost full frontal pictures, 1 naked backside, 1 model in see-through underwear, 1 side shot with no visible penis
~47 different male models (7 of whom appear twice)
~About 7 models with hair on their chest
~10 penises in some state of erection
~2 distinctly PoC models
~Diverse range of body types to suit every need!
    • Can make your own rules
    • Standard playing card deck


As an avid card player, I cannot dismiss the fact that these cards are poorly designed. Because of this, I cannot give this deck five stars even if I wanted to. The physical cards themselves are definitely not casino quality, or even standard playing card quality for that matter. Unlike other cards, these do not have a protective laminate coating that would keep them flexible and durable. The paper on which these cards were printed are about as thick as the paper box they come in. Thus, they bend very easily, so one has to be extremely careful when shuffling and dealing. Some of the cards are already bent or worn along the edge after only having sorted through them. This deck should be seen strictly as a novelty item, in that it can only stand light and gentle usage.
Most of the cards are pleasing to the eye in terms of layout. The photo quality is surprisingly good, and each card offers the name of the model along the upper right side. The cards in the red suits are usually easy to read, but the lettering on some of the black suit cards can be hard to distinguish from shadows or dark backgrounds.
    • Flimsy
Follow-up commentary
I keep these in my nightstand drawer for whenever the internet is out and I need something sexy to look at. I still have to handle them delicately, though, and using them as regular playing cards is still out of the question due to their flimsy nature. The edge of one of them recently got a small tear. As I've said before, it makes for a nice portable porn collection.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
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  • Zandrock
    Thanks for sharing
  • Kissy
    Wow, thanks for the heads up.
  • wetone123
    Too bad these are not even of playing card standard. I'm sure there are some who would have liked them to be used for gaming. As it is yucky! Thanks for your honest, informative review
  • hotcherry
    Thanks for the review.
  • loveme9
    Thanks for the review.

  • 0990
  • no name 1
    very helpfull
  • nevra solstice
  • Michelle Conner
    nice review
  • buddygreenleaf
    thanks for the review
  • Nora29714
  • GONE!
    Thanks for the review!
  • SabrinaKay
  • chelly411
    Thanks for the review
  • KevinW
    thanks for sharing
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