Penis squeeze keychain by Cal Exotics - review by Kayla

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The Penis Squeeze Keychain is a good keychain that really looks like a penis. The color is off from what the picture represents and it has an odd smell, but aside from that, it basically is a great keychain.
Won't burst, fun to squeeze, looks like a penis
Bad smell, brown-ish color
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
The Penis Squeeze Keychain is a small keychain made by California Exotics. It's about two inches long and, at the widest area, has a diameter of an inch. It is made from a jelly-like material though I honestly can't place the exact material. At the end of the penis is a little reinforced piece of jelly where the little beads go through to allow this to be a keychain. The keychain does look like a little penis - there's a pronounced head as well as the obvious testicles.

The packaging is very basic. The keychain is kept in a little plastic baggie with a piece of cardboard stapled at the top to keep the keychain inside of the plastic. It's pretty tasteful packaging - looks more like a gag gift than anything else.

Something that really bothered me was the scent. It's nothing horrendous that you can smell straight out of the package, but if you put it up to your nose, you can smell it. Plus, if you play with the keychain then smell your fingers, you can smell it all over your hand. Washing it with soap and water seems to have decreased the scent a bit, but it's still not completely gone like I was hoping.

The Squeeze Keychain does squeeze. A lot. It's actually really amusing to play with. I'm not sure what the inner material is, but it feels like some sort of jelly. The jelly is filled with the little plastic balls as shown in the picture. When the keychain is squeezed, the little balls will move around which makes it a lot of fun. The best way for me to describe it is to compare it to those little "squeeze" tubes that were cone-shaped with a hole through the middle. It's amusing to squeeze, and if this wasn't a penis, I'd throw this on my keychain to amuse me when I was bored while out of the house. Since it is penis-shaped, that's just not a good idea.

The second thing that really bothered me was the color. I know EF has professional lighting and everything for their pictures, but that's exactly where I was deceived. The lighting makes this look really nice, white and see-through. Basically, it makes it look like something I'd really like to carry around. In reality, this little keychain is a dish-water brown. It looks kinda dirty, and as such, I wouldn't want to carry it around at all. I wish it was the white that was shown in the product pictures. Instead, it does end up being a dirty brown - even in bright sunlight. In the dark, it looks even worse. It's possibly the toy I received had just been sitting in the warehouse for a long time, and that's why it was discolored though.

If you want to use this as something aside from a keychain, the keychain aspect is removable to just have the little jelly penis hanging around. The outer jelly shell does seem to be pretty thick, so I'm not concerned about this bursting while I'm playing with it. Scissors or sharp objects would hurt it, but I sincerely doubt regular use is going to hurt this keychain. The jelly does keep the penis standing firm, so when stood upright, the penis will keep standing upright - it doesn't lean to one side or anything. It stays in its form.

There's really no reason to clean a keychain, but if you want to, warm water and soap should clean everything off of it. You can keep this on a keyring or whatever you'd like, but I would recommend keeping it away from sharp objects - I have a feeling it could get hurt near those.

So, I won't be using this as a keychain for public. Maybe if it looked cleaner I'd take it to some adult events, but as it stands, it looks a little too dirty and smells a little too bad for me want to deal with it on a regular basis. Instead, I think I'm going to express my inner sex toy reviewer and use this as an ornament on my Christmas tree this year. It isn't a bad keychain - you just have to understand that it's not nearly as white as the picture shows. If you are okay with that, it's a good keychain.
Follow-up commentary
Poor little penis keychain still doesn't look nearly as white as it could. I think it actually has gotten a bit darker since I first wrote the review. We ended up tossing it, but if it had been the white color in the picture, I think we probably would have used it more.
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  • ToyTimeTim
    Looks like it was rolled in the dirt, eew. Should be fun on the tree though.
    Great review.
  • BBW Talks Toys
    I love the idea of putting it on the tree!
  • Eeyor89
    Great review! Hmm a penis shaped ornimant... sweet! lol
  • bzzingbee
    Even though the color is kind of off, it's still pretty cute! I'd kind of like to put it on my key ring just to see how many people actually notice it. I'd definitely be squeezing it all the time, lol. I also love the tree idea! Great review!
  • Kim!
    Aw, the picture is broken. Still, nice job and it sounds kind of icky-looking. I'm still sort of tempted...
  • Alan & Michele
    ROFL! I *have* to get one of these!
  • ToyGeek
    Clear-colored rubber bouncy balls turn a yellow-brown with age, that's probably what's happening here.
  • Bunnycups
    At first I thought this was a miniature Jollie polka dot dildo.
  • Ms. Spice
    ah i don't know about this one. it would be fun to put in the xmas tree tho
  • SiNn
    id buy this and walk around with it all the time
  • The Curious Couple
    Thanks for the review!
  • js250
    Thanks for review.
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