Blow up penis - gags by Cal Exotics - review by Jul!a

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Wait, You're Supposed To Do What With That Hole?

These blow up penises are great for a quick laugh, and come two to a box. However they'll probably be quickly forgotten unless you can come up with something creative to do to them to keep the fun going.
Box came with 2, Seem pretty durable
Almost impossible to get fully inflated, Doesn't entirely look like a penis
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
I bought this item to be a gag item that gets tossed around all night. I didn't even realize until my friend and I were playing with it that it's also supposed to be a masturbator. It was then that I realized what the hole in the back was actually for.

The packaging is very novelty item, but since that's what you're buying, did you really expect anything less? According to the packaging, you can 'be the biggest boy' and use this for a gigantic look and 'fun-time masturbation.' Inside the package I was pleasantly surprised to find two inflatable penises, as opposed to the one I thought I was getting. The instructions only give you directions on how to inflate your 'doll' with the pump that may not actually be included.

Lacking pump aside, it's really easy to blow up each penis manually, and takes literally, less than 10 seconds. While making your inflatable penis large and in charge isn't the problem, keeping him that way is. Air will very quickly escape from the valve before you get a chance to close it, always resulting in varying degrees of half-hardness.

I haven't been able to find what these penises are actually made of, but they resemble something you might find a pool raft to be made out of. So to clean it (if you need to) I would recommend just wiping it down with a damp cloth, using soap as necessary). It doesn't seem like it would break tremendously easily, but I wouldn't get too rough with it if you're really attached to it. 13" long including the balls, and 5" tall at the base of the balls, neither penis really looked all that, well, penis-y. It has an obvious generally phallic shape, but there's really no detail whatsoever. There's one 'section' for the head, and one for the body and balls.

Now, for how it worked as a masturbator. I have no idea. I showed my fiance and we both agreed that this was not something we felt confident stuffing his penis into. For anybody who is interested in trying, the diameter of the hole is 2 1/2" and I can easily fit all 4 of the fingers on either hand in up to the knuckles that meet the rest of my hand. If you're going to try it at all, use a condom if you're planning on finishing inside of it, because I haven't figured out a good way to clean in there, and you really don't wanna leave your spooge in that.

For how it went over in public, well my friends got a great laugh out of both of them, for about 45 seconds, then we moved on to something else. I did have one of my friends take the second one that came in the box, but I'm not all that worried. These are good for a cheap laugh, but I'm not sure I'd recommend buying them in bulk.
I have a few pictures of it after I inflated it, and this was seriously the best I could do.


And here's a shot of the hole in the base:

Follow-up commentary
I've had it confirmed: that hole you're supposed to be able to f*ck, definitely doesn't work. If it's inflated enough to give you some nice pressure back, you can't get your penis in. And if you can get your penis in, it's too limp to feel good at all. But neither my friend or myself thought that it was actually functional in that aspect. This was bought because it was an inflatable penis. The friend who stole my penis's mate ended up attaching it to his shorts and wearing it out to the gay bar we frequent and it was a huge hit.

Long story short: if you're looking for a functional masturbator, look elsewhere. If you're looking for an amusing inflatable penis, this isn't horrible.
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My Blow up penis tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Bridal gift
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • MyDolceVita
    Nice review, love your title! Too bad it didn't inflate all the way though. Using it as a masturbator? I wouldn't expect that either.
  • ToyTimeTim
    I think I would put my hand in the end and walk around poking people. hehe.
  • Annemarie
    I would put it on my strapon and run around saying "I've got a really big penis!"

    ... but that's just me.
  • Blinker
    This is hilarious! I wish they were cheaper and blew up to a good size. I'd inflate a bunch and leave them around campus.
  • BJismyname
    hahaha. now i wanna try blowing one up. i take those inflation valves as a sort of personal challenge... maybe if it could be fully inflated it'd be a more inviting toy to stick a penis in?
  • Jul!a
    MyDolceVita, after playing with it some more, I think that if it were fully inflated, it would fail even more as a masturbator since putting my hand in the hole seems to make it appear more inflated.

    Dwtim, I've done it, it was very amusing, lol.

    Annemarie, I've thought about that honestly, lol

    Blinker, I'll help you inflate them all!

    Bj, Idk, but I would wish you all the best luck in trying to figure that out, lol
  • ~LaUr3n~
    I don't think you are supposed to fuck the hole at all. It is supposed to be worn as a gag to look like a bigger penis.
  • Xavier7
    Oh, so THAT's what it looks like! Great review.
  • Jul!a
  • Daniel & Brittany
    Thanks for this review, it's so hard to tell what your getting without the pics and none of the inflatable gifts have any, save for this one. I think i'm going to have to get all of these just so i can let everyone else know whats up lol, I wonder if eden would send me the non-reviewed ones as an assignment... any idea Sam?
  • Jul!a
    There's only one way to find out, request it and see.
  • Jane Elliott
    if they weren't so flaccid.
  • Jul!a
    Lol, oh how true
  • Kdlips
    Great review.
  • Jul!a
  • winggeddagger
    great review. nice to have the pics, they were really helpful
  • Jul!a
    Thank you
  • TheCleansing
    I feel like it would be weird trying to fuck the back of a penis......
  • Jul!a
    Haha, I think I would agree with that.
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