Awkward Hearts

I am not likely to use these anal beads again, or any anal beads for that matter. For someone who is interested in anal beads, especially those made of non-porous materials such as silicone, these may give you a better experiences. Me, however, I'm better off sticking to what I'm most comfortable with. Sometimes trying new things isnt always the best idea for some of us.
-Non-Porous Silicone
-Attractive Looking "Ace of Spades" Beads
-Easy-To-Use "Heart" Handle
-Minimal Packaging & Product Info
-Easily Collect Fecal Matter & Lube
-Hard to Get in or Out
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
I gotta say - I've never used anal beads before. I've always used butt plugs in my rump, or of course, smaller dildos that make me feel good. I wanted to try something new, and as there was a promotional sale going on through EdenFantasys, I went ahead and added these to my cart. I mean hey, what was to lose? They were silicone, black, and only about $8.00.

Well they came as a part of my (very large) order, encased in a sleeve-like plastic bag with no product information whatsoever. The only good part of that of course, is that there is minimal wasted in case customers dont recycle. However, I find it increasingly frustrating that EF doesnt include proper packaging for these products. The packaging is too simple and it is too minimal. There needs to be more, because I, like many others, have been confused about how to properly use a product, because of minimal information. For a site that prides itself on giving all kinds of sex information to its customers, I find this contradictory.

Okay, so on to the toy. When I first brought these out, I was still confused. I wasnt entirely impressed with my fantasies of using them, and I wasnt too excited to use them either. For some reason I was just...not into them, even as I was curious to try them and see what all the hype of anal beads was about. I brought these out, took some photos that make them look fabulous (and to an anal bead novice, I bet they would be), and put them back in the plastic "bag" for safe keeping.

Finally tonight, a week or so later, I tried them for the first time. Needless to say it was awkward. I didnt know where to start. I applied a fingertip's drop of lube (and more) to every Ace of Spaces shaped "bead," pretty much covering every inch of these, and looked at the tip of it. I pushed in the first tip, then the second, then so on; My butt didnt like it. My butt was confused, ya'll. My butt was very confused. I somehow forced them to in all the way up to the heart "base" end, but the last bead just didnt want to go in all the way. Throughout this process, I wondered, that if they were so flexible, would they go straight up my rectum/anal cavity or would they all be squished together up there? It felt like a bit of both. These were as firm as silicone can be, but I dont think they were firm or thick enough (like a plug or dildo)to really go up all the way.

I used my new NS Novelties Pride Silicone Dildo with this, as well as my Eden Velvet G, and climaxed finally by using the bullet that came with the new Fleshlight knock-off (Shhh, dont tell the boyfriend I stole his pocket pussy for the bullet). When I was almost through with my orgasm, I started taking the beads out, you know, to see what it felt like to pull them out slowly during an orgasm.

Boy, it was awkward again. It seemed like all the lube had gone away and my butt, again, didnt like it. My butt wanted them out all of a sudden, and so did I. I didnt like the feeling, and I felt at that moment I was forcing myself to do something I wasnt comfortable with.

When they were finally out, I looked at them. There was still lube on them, but it had collected in the spaces between the Ace of Spades "beads," doing little for the comfort of my ass. Along with the lube, fecal matter had collected between them and was just gross. I looked on, suddenly nauseous, trying to continue my orgasm. I didnt know where to put them, so I rolled them up slightly on top of my underwear. I didnt want to get fecal matter on the furniture. It just seemed so gross. I guess this is normal, but this much fecal matter usually doesnt collect on my plugs or vibrators. This just doesnt happen for me. And now I go on trying beads, and it does. Yuck.

After I was done, it was awkward taking them to the sink to wash them. I didnt want to touch them, I wanted to all of a sudden just toss them. But I poured a large amount of anti-bacterial liquid hand soap onto them (after running them under the water to get as much of the fecal matter off as I could), and rubbed it in, making bubbles. It took me a long time to get them clean, and I scrubbed my hands thoroughly afterwards.
(Let's talk about length for just a second. In total length this butt toy itself is about 9 1/2 inches. Not including the "heart" handle, the "string" of beads is a total of about 7 1/2 inches.)
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My Heart silicone anal beads tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Can be worn during intercourse
    • Can be worn during masturbation
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Good for anal
    • P-spot
  • Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears
    I had the same experience. I found it better to clean out before and let SO put them in. That person can gently pushed each one in and be sure lube is right. Not to mention the stringiness, long and not rigid construction makes it pretty hard to get in by oneself. I think these are more for the other person to enjoy. He/she can watch them pop out and user's reaction.
  • Contributor: Sugarfina
    Very good points!
  • Contributor: Sugarfina
    Sorry that I was unable to add pictures. Had some trouble (again) with the uploader and my photo sizes being "too big." Anyone who wants to see photographs of any of my toys can always check out Sugarfina Sex Toy Reviews on Facebook (that's the name of my facebook page).
  • Contributor: Dame Demi
    "My butt was confused, ya'll. My butt was very confused."

    Definitely the best quote I've heard today.
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