When I first got home to see the box I admit, I was surprised, it was larger and flatter than I’d been expecting. So I was hoping for a surprise inside as well. I got one, just not a pleasant one. I pulled out the packaged toy to see the bullet inside had rusted. Already it seemed sub par, and it only got worse. I took it out to put in the batteries and it was sticky. It was covered in something that smelled rather foul and was not only sticky to the touch but left my fingers sticky until I wiped it off.

The toy was not so lucky. It took me a good ten minutes alternating between soap and dishwashing liquid to get all the horrible gunk off the toy. After it was all said and done I was rather frustrated instead of flustered. I resolved, however, to attempt it anyway and placed batteries in the hatch. Finally something good, the dial worked and the vibrations are nice. Unlike all my previous vibrating toys which had specific settings, this one lets you choose your own. The dial gives you full control on how fast and hard you want it to be vibrating, kind of like raising the volume on a radio.

So, impressed by the vibrating, I decided to give it a chance and got myself hot and bothered enough to slide it in. It gave a nice stretch and felt really good inside, the vibrations felt wonderful, I’ll give it that much. For all the work I had to put into it cleaning it off and the annoyance of the bullet already having specs of rust, I must admit, it made up for it in the two great anal orgasms it gave me.

I tried it twice again, it’s pretty thick so I have to turn it on low vibrations to get it in comfortably. But the stretching feels really good. The vibrations on the dial go from pretty low, softer then a cell phone in vibrate to a good high point that if not muffled could probably be heard through a door, of course that level of noise comes with a big bonus, it vibrates so hard it can be felt through the entire toy and massages the sphincters too which also feels great.

Because the toy is made of jelly, any kind of lube is fine, but it should be washed with hot water and toy cleaner before and after each time. I find using a zipping sandwich or snack bag works well enough for keeping lint and hair from accumulating.

So, all in all, I give this toy three stars, five for the feeling and tolerably low noise when it’s not being muffled by my rear anyway, but minus two for coming sticky and requiring such a rigorous cleaning and the bullet being rusted even if it doesn’t seem to effect its ability to operate.