Let’s just say I’m no stranger to sex toys. I’ve pretty much seen them all. I have probably tried most of them. But this thing, this is beyond anything I have ever experienced. A sex toy made of wood? What about splinters? Swelling and cracking? Isn’t it bad to get wood wet? I had all sort of questions before I saw this thing.

When it arrived, I was dumbstruck. It was nicely packaged in its own sliding box with foam cushioning. There it lay, nestled in the pretty package, shiny and golden. Before I even touched it. I was staring and immediately thinking of how to use it. It was practically glowing, with a rich honey color. It is so pretty. Then I pulled it out of the box and ran my hands all over it. Wow. It’s smooth, absolutely flawless. It has a little booklet that gives some information about the toy, how to clean it and care for it. Turns out the wood has been fully sealed...so no worries about splinters or anything like that. Easy to clean, waterproof, even bleachable [editor’s note: we recommend just wiping it down with a bleach solution, rather than putting the whole toy in bleach].

It has a little loop carved into the end for a “handle” to put a finger through, and the shaft is carved into a series of beads. The whole shaft is slightly curved too. Even without lube, this natural beauty glides effortlessly into any of your hungry orifices. Add a little lube and you’ve got the smoothest, most orgasmic ride of your life. Anal play, vaginal play, even sucking on it was fun. The texture is so unlike traditional silicone and rubber toys, and knowing I was getting off on tree bits made it pretty exciting too.

There really isn’t any way to describe this toy accurately. You have to experience it for yourself.