Fetish Fantasy Elite universal beginner's harness - double strap by Pipedream - review by penumbra

The Fetish Fantasy Elite Universal Beginner’s Harness is, truly, a beginner’s harness. For the price, anyone could try strap-on play, however the ‘universal’ label is a bit misleading. The package says the harness can fit an individual with a waist size of 44 inches (or a 4X), however this product is intended to mount on your hips, not your waist. My waist is 37.5 inches, but my hips are 45 inches, making the fit problematic. For comparison, I wear a US size 12 jeans.

Despite the sizing issue, I was able to use the harness, though the fit was overly snug and required nimble fingers to insert and adjust the straps. The straps are basic nylon webbing which can be washed in sudsy water (but not with scouring powders.) Nylon is strong, tough, and long-lasting, but it isn’t a great tactile experience. For a novice dipping their dildos into the joys of strap-on play and pegging, an initial investment in nylon may make sense compared to the more expensive leather options. The ‘pad’ that supports the dildo is a flimsy vinyl triangle backed with neoprene, which can also be cleaned with mild soap. Please note, neither nylon nor vinyl can be adequately sanitized, making this harness (along with most harnesses) a fluid-bound object that can’t be shared between wearer’s that aren’t fluid bound. Dental dams on the harness with condoms on the attached dildo may prevent soiling the harness with fluids from the recipient, if applied carefully.

When we moved past the materials and fit of the harness, we discovered another issue. The silicone O-ring that holds dildos is very flexible (more so than any other silicone O-ring I have encountered). The design of the harness has the ring anchored to the ends of the waist strap and the leg straps. The tight fit mentioned above meant that the ring itself was distorted when I wore the harness, even with the harness at the loosest settings. A smaller partner also tried it on, and found that the O-ring was distorted before the harness fit snuggly enough to be effective for vaginal insertion. I could insert the dildo with the harness, both vaginally and anally, but could not keep it in the ring for more than a few thrusts. Luckily, one of my partners was willing to pick up a steel ring from a home improvement store.

When we substituted the steel ring in, the harness served its purpose adequately. The harness allowed for deep penetration with good range of motion both vaginally and anally. It wasn’t very useful to the wearer for oral, but the flexibility of the nylon lent itself to a decent amount of movement of the dildo. For the wearer, insertion of a vibrating toy might improve the experience. The straps that wrap around the buttocks from the crotch mount to the waist strap in the front, rather than to the pad, which did chafe my skin any time I used it more than 20 minutes for penetration. Other than that chafing (which can be solved by slipping a seatbelt chamois, trimmed to the appropriate size, over the waist strap at those spots or wearing underwear beneath the harness), and the overly-tight fit, this harness is adequate for a beginner.

I'm still lusting after lovely strap-on harnesses and this one only drives the desire. I haven't used it a lot, but I doubt it would handle heavy usage. I find it more difficult to fit than ever; I don't have the patience to put it on.