The Emperor - realistic dildo by Cal Exotics - review by LesbianLove

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Mr McBigfellow.

It is definitely worth the money, I believe, if you're looking for something that's bigger than most the average sized toys out there without getting something that will send you to the hospital for stitches, this is the perfect dildo for you. It will definitely push your boundaries if that's what you're looking for and the best part, it's somewhat soft. So it won't leave you too bruised up, but rough sex might leave you limping.
Good feel, good size if you like a challenge, nice looking pecker.
The color is the only thing I don't like about this guy.
Rating by reviewer:
somewhat useful review


Well, this guy is obviously a step up from the realistic cock junior. We haven't used it yet because I'm currently overseas, but I'm sure as soon as I get home, I'll introduce this guy to her. I don't think she's going to be able to handle this guy, nor would any other beginner. I mean, it's not big enough to split anyone in half, but it will definitely hurt if you don't use plenty of lube and PLEASE take the time to "warm up", do a little foreplay, watch a little porn. Whatever it takes, just don't try to shove it up there right off that bat. Otherwise, you won't get to truly appreciate this fella'. Obviously, you could use this for vaginal, anal and if you want to suck on it a little, that's fine too. No one's judging. It's compatible with any universal "O"-ring harness, so there's an avenue for ya'. Beginners who are looking for a challenge, this guy could be the one for you. But for you "seasoned veterans" of larger sex toys, this guy could be just enough to satisfy you without any problems at all.

Material / Texture

It's somewhat soft, it's softer than Sensafirm and firmer than Cyberskin. It feels like a soft penis shaped eraser. It's like a spongy rubbery feeling. I think this texture would probably be better off used by the 'more advanced' users, otherwise I could imagine this guy leaving you pretty bruised up given the size. Haven't tasted it, the smell is a strong but fruity smell which is fine by me. PLEASE use condoms and plenty of water-based lubes!! and clean it every use, I'd say before and after each use.

Design / Shape / Size

It's probably about 7 3/4 inches insertable and just a smidgen wider than my index, middle and ring fingers together. So roughly 2 inches thick, or half of a credit card. The base is just a tad less than 2 inches thick. The head is tapered which is a good thing, that should help out with initial insertion, but thick. The shape and detail of this guy is profound. It's a very handsome penis, but the color is that weird red/brown color. In some lights, it looks purple. It's not the beautiful realistic two-toned colors that you see in the pictures. Nothing is hand painted about it. Other than that, it looks very real. The balls are cool, could be used as a grip or stimulation for your clit and so on. Once again, as far as this toy being discreet.. It's very much so discreet, I could probably pack with this guy and make it through an airport.


The look of the toy, not the color, the shape of the toy is the best thing about it. Also the fact that I can use it to pack if I wanted to. (I know there are other packers out here and this wasn't meant for packing, but I'm just saying it can be done. I don't recommend it, it's pretty good sized and difficult to run with, but it can be done.) The color of this thing is the chief complaint.

Care and Maintenance

Please clean it before and after each use, I store it away in the plastic container it came in still. Use water-based lubes and a condom to help keep it bacteria free.


It's a little cheaply done, but who cares? It's all about the toy, ya know? ;)
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  • Honey Girl
    thanks for the review, though i also dislike the colorful of the toy
  • noelleish
    nice review!
  • Gunsmoke
    Well - have you used it yet? Doesn't make sense to me to review a product you haven't used.
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