Squirmy rooter royal - dildo by Doc Johnson - review by c8linvilla

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Nothing amazing

If you are looking for something that is fun and keeps the bedroom life interesting, then stay away from this. But if you're looking for a toy that is not going to cause fast orgasms, or a toy that is just a helper, then this would be a good one to get.
Length and girth
smells, weak crank, sticky
Could be made better by having a better crank
Rating by reviewer:
somewhat useful review


The best way to use this toy would be for sure with a partner. This is best for anyone really as long as there are 2 people. It is huge, so it will take time to figure out the best use for it, but it can be used for anyone since it's so long.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Group situations
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere

Material / Texture

This toy, for me, was a little soft. It has a smell that is stronger then most other toys as well which is a huge turn off, but after a few washes, the smell went away. This would be good for more of a beginner as it's pretty basic and plain, but I am sure anyone can enjoy it. This is pretty flexible at the top as well.
    • Flexible
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

The design on this is nice. It has a great feeling like a real penis and the shape is great as well. It has a realistic look, but the feel is more soft and slightly sticky. That, mixed with the strong smell, is was not that great.

As far as size and how it works, this is why it's a 2 person job. It is way too long and then with having to turn the crank on it, it's not really enjoyable if using yourself. It's for sure a 2 person job if you plan to use the crank on it.

As far as the crank though, it's pretty useless. Once inside the body the crank cranks but nothing really moves. if you just crank in a circle you get little effect, but if you go back and forth with the crank only halfway, you can get a kind of vibrating effect, so it still can be used for pleasure.
    • Beginner
    • Partner play
    • Realistic


The best thing about this toy is the size. It really hits all the right spots. What's not so great is the crank is just too weak, the smell is a bit strong, the actual product is a bit soft(but makes it very flexible so this is a good and a bad) and it's a bit sticky. Personally, I would just take the crank out of it and use it like that.
    • Comfortable
    • Easy to use
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

It's very easy to clean. A quick clean up, or wipe down with toy wash/wipes and it's ready to be put away. I store mine in the case it came in, but its large size and even larger box makes it a little hard to find anywhere to store it. It's compatible with lubes as well and is a very simple toy with very simple clean up.
    • Difficult to store
    • Easy to clean


This toy was packaged in just a basic brown box. It has very helpful instructions making it easy for anyone to understand and use. It could be used as a gift box, but it could also be updated into a better box for gifting.
    • Discreet looking packaging
    • Good for storage
    • Very informative

Personal comments

Overall, this toy was not what I thought it would be. It was very basic and plain and did not really do the job until I improvised. I really like more of the solo toys and this is not at all a solo toy. The size and girth was good and overall, it is an item I will use again, but not something I would buy.
    • Basic
    • Boring
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
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